I left off with the open mic at Forest Hill Library, which continues to bring old and new faces and voices. I had a few lido evenings/afternoons and have also been trying to get the word out about my Spanish conversation group in Sydenham, which I started again after a hiatus.
Forest Hill Stanza
Last weekend I finally finished the Tracey Emin exhibition and I was inspired to get a new sewing kit as my little one was very threadbare! I’m excited to do some art making maybe while watching Spider-Man in preparation for the new one.
I also watched The Odyssey last weekend, which wasn’t my choice but I did once read it when I had ran out of reading material in Indonesia, having found it on a small island. I do have an interest in mythology, so it was better than I expected considering action scenes make me fall asleep.
Watching: Love on the Spectrum, The Four Seasons, Girlfriends
Reading: Comfortable with Uncertainty by Pema Chödrön, The Museum of Innocence by Orhan Pamuk, and the Expressive Therapies Continuum by Lisa D. Hinz, Terminal Boredom by Izumi Suzuki, My Private Property by Mary Ruefle
Podcasts: What Now? with Trevor Noah, The Telepathy Tapes, Teal Swan, On Attachment, Jillian on Love, Morning Affirmations
Music: Tove Lo, Pinhani, The Plot in You, thrown, Emmy the Great, Bad Bunny, 65daysofstatic, Ariana Grande, Linkin Park, The Frights
The last couple of weeks, I’ve bookended with a visit to the Frida Kahlo exhibition, Making of an Icon. I managed three rooms with one friend, and yesterday evening I finished the exhibition, with another friend waiting about half an hour for me to finish! In between, a trip to Hastings also meant I was able to view a documentary about Frida Kahlo. She has been a big inspiration since school days, when I also watched the biopic ‘Frida’ starring Salma Hayek, when I was just 13 years old. It was interesting that the exhibition featured as much work as inspired by the artist than her own work.
Looking at this painting aged 37 in July
I was treated to afternoon tea the day of my first visit, and in between visits I swam in the lido and the sea, saw System of a Down with a friend who now lives in Germany, saw a film preview that had me laughing and crying (the best kind of film), celebrated my gran’s 84th birthday, worked my day job, where I’ve been nominated for a Patients’ Choice Award, and fantasised about living on the coast.
This Sunday is the Forest Hill Stanza open mic 2-4pm at Forest Hill Library. I’ve also been trying out a new schedule to inject more creativity into my evenings after work, so I finished a poem, so should have a few to read myself tomorrow!
Watching: Survival of the Thickest, Big Mistake, Love on the Spectrum, The Art of a True Story – Exhibition On Screen: Frida Kahlo
Reading: Comfortable with Uncertainty by Pema Chödrön, The Museum of Innocence by Orhan Pamuk, and the Expressive Therapies Continuum by Lisa D. Hinz.l, The Lost Girls of Autism by Gina Rippon (audiobook)
Podcasts: What Now? with Trevor Noah, Girls Gotta Eat
Music: Tove Lo, 65daysofstatic, System of a Down, The Plot in You, Slayyyter, Tommy, Pinhani
It’s been over ten days since I’ve updated, and I’ve seen so many incredible exhibitions, which I’ve been gradually sharing on Instagram. These have included Nigerian Modernism at the Tate Modern, The Weight of Being at Two Temple Place, and Chiharu Shiota: Threads of Life, and Yin Xiuzhen: Heart to Heart, both at the Hayward Gallery.
Nigerian Modernism at the Tate Modern
A country I would love to visit, I was drawn to the bright colours featured in many of the pieces featured in this exhibition and I loved learning more about its art. In addition to the rich and vibrant artwork, I appreciated reading all the captions, and loved the response from Ben Enwonwu (1917-1994) on the comparison to Alberto Gracurelli: “I know he was influenced by African sculptures. But I would not be influenced by Giacomell, because he was influenced by my ancestors”. As I contemplate my own artistic response, I question how I can honour these works.
The Weight of Being: Vulnerability, Resilience and Mental Health at Two Temple Place
I was so moved by the first piece, which depicted different signs spray-painted with RIP SENI. Seni’s Law is a UK law enforced in 2022 that mandates transparency and accountability for the use of force in mental health settings. Named after Olaseni (“Seni”) Lewis, who died in 2010 after being disproportionately restrained by 11 police officers while a voluntary patient. Coming straight from work, there was a heaviness to the exhibition. It was particularly interesting to see work by John Wilson McCracken and follow his journey, woven through the exhibition Some of my favourite pieces here include textiles on dusters by art therapist Barbara Long, the depiction of subtle violence of Raksha Patel’s landscape, a project with poetry on plates created with refugees, pieces about fighting against injustices and division, plus extensive interesting sculptural, video and textile work, and self-portraiture. Much food for thought as an Art Psychotherapist.
Yin Xiuzhen: Heart to Heart
As I moved through this exhibition, I reflected on transitions and memories, with the difficulties of letting go of clothes, especially those I still like… whether something that seems practical or a retro prom dress that could be worn in Napoleon Dynamite. I enjoyed the use of suitcases and fabric to make cities, the cementing of clothes, the washing of polluted river ice blocks, the recreation of Chinese traditions through photography and sound, experimental glass and ceramics pieces, the long minibus I wished to crawl into, and the giant heart I could sit within. The transient nature of cities like London speaks to the description of home as “a collection of belongings packed and ready for transport”. Home is where the heart is, yet it is scattered across all corners of the city, where we can travel up to two hours to work or to see friends.
Chiharu Shiota: Threads of Life
This series of installations each created an immersive feeling, more energising at the start, and more sombre at the end. I found the letters extremely moving and shed a tear to those that felt like a message for me. I also found the illustrations impressive, with the sheer volume of them astounding in its discipline.
…Aside from this, and work, I also have been going through my old journal/diary entries from the last five years, picking out warning signs and trying to understand the reality I had been living all those years, to see it for what it was. My current focus on this now also means I am putting more practical creative tasks on the backburner, but I have been making some response art, which I’ll also be sharing on my Instagram, as I still need to finish the piece inspired by Nigerian Modernism and haven’t made a start on the rest. The piece above was inspired by the previous exhibition I saw in The Netherlands of Escher’s work.
Watching: Love is Blind Argentina, Shrinking, Girlfriends, Love on the Spectrum, Megan 2.0 (film)
Reading: The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, The Feminist Killjoy Handbook by Sara Ahmed, The Fugitive by Marcel Proust (audiobook), It Begins with You (audiobook), All About Love by bell hooks (audiobook)
Podcasts: What Now? with Trevor Noah
Music: HUMBE, Peso Pluma, The Plot in You, RAYE, Self Esteem
So, aside from worky work, I’ve had a meeting with my access support worker to start helping with my new ACE application, and this weekend I plan to get stuck in on Sunday with some actions.
I’ve had a lot of socialising and it’s been so life-affirming and energising to spend time with friends and family, as well as connecting to things I love like salsa dancing.
I went to The Netherlands to visit my cousin for the first time. It’s definitely something I’d love to do more of… time and money permitting!
I saw My Neighbour Totoro beforehand and as it was with my ex, I made a healing plan and it actually worked? I had a massage and haircut booked, a drink with a friend and then off I went the next day on the Eurostar!
I got to see the Escher museum and ticked off all the foods I wanted to try: bitterballen, patatje oorlog, rijsttafel and a pancake house. I also did a 10km run on a beautiful sunny day! I’d never actually done a city run before that wasn’t in a park, so it was a great experience!
On Saturday, I’m bringing some poets from the Forest Hill Stanza to the Deptford Literature Festival at Deptford Lounge 2:30-4:30pm.
Watching: Too Hot to Handle, Shrinking
Reading: The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, The Feminist Killjoy Handbook by Sara Ahmed, Sodom & Gomorrah by Marcel Proust (audiobook)
Podcasts: What Now? with Trevor Noah, Late Bloomers, Gillian on Love, Live Well Be Well with Sarah Ann Macklin
Music: Florence + The Machine, HUMBE, The Plot in You, Drowning Pool
Last weekend I had the pleasure of seeing Frantic Assembly’s Lost Atoms at The Lyric in Hammersmith, and Punchdrunk’s Lander 23 in Woolwich. At the start of ‘Lost Atoms’, I was engrossed yet also felt the pace was slow at points, in terms of my investment in the couple, but by the second half I was even more captivated and ended up crying as it was so moving. I remember wanting to see it as it related to my own personal life, and it was really uplifting and moving to think about multiple futures.
Lander 23 was fun, though I also understand the criticism of reusing sets from The Drowned Man; perhaps there could be an argument here in terms of sustainability, but we had imagined something more space-like than dystopian. The narrative was simple, or, you could say, non-existent, even. I thought the concept perhaps was that the narrative was created between us, as our two-teams communicated through radios, with the other team telling us afterwards that it was funny to hear us. We went for some Somalian food at Basbaas afterwards, and it was delicious and generous.
Aside from the dayjob, I’ve been training for this 10km run, so I did 9km on Monday and 10km this morning. I celebrated Mother’s Day early at La Parra Tapas, also celebrating the fact I’m officially Spanish now! I just need to sort out my passport, with another trip to the Spanish Consulate. I was gifted some Spanish sweet treats from my parents’ recent trip to Barcelona too!
Reading: A Poem for Every Winter Day, Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, The Feminist Killjoy Handbook by Sara Ahmed, Sodom & Gomorrah by Marcel Proust (audiobook)
Podcasts: What Now? with Trevor Noah, The Telepathy Tapes, On Attachment
Last weekend, I went to the Viennese Whirl exhibition featuring AUSJIÄNDER, Siobhan Binaghi, SMAIBLUE, Paul Doherty and Epona. With non-alcoholic cocktails, a tour of the exhibition, and live sounds, there was a sense of vitality that reignited this feeling of potential. The sun being out all helped. I’m planning to do a full write-up for The Norwich Radical.
Siobhan Belingy
The connection to theatre was appropriately matched to the Tate Modern’s Theatre Picasso exhibition. I enjoyed seeing pieces such as Weeping Woman alongside lesser known works, and felt inspired by a film of Picasso painting. I painted my own self-portrait in the style of his Weeping Woman, reclaiming ownership of the harm some men inflict on women, acknowledging this darker part of Picasso’s legacy.
Weeping Women
I had a terrible journey home, so I didn’t take much in of an online CPD I wanted to attend on the power of art and connection for late-diagnosed autistic women. Unfortunately someone on my bus seemed to be experiencing a psychotic episode that meant they lashed out at various people, and I inadvertently made myself a target, so was quite shaken up, but felt very disconnected from my emotions. I need to remember the risks within a work context are different from those in public.
I’ve been unwell since then and so had some days where I tried to work from home and a couple of days sick leave, skipping the cold plunge at the sauna this week. I watched a lot of films on a BFI free trial, and there’s many more I’d like to watch, with my favourite one being Layla, which also stars Bilal Hasna, who is such a hottie! Thankfully, I managed to feel well enough to attend the CPIFF launch and met poet, actor, and now film-maker Ben Norris for his debut ‘Toad in the Hole’, which was fantastically funny, and his Q&A also was hilarious. He reminded me it must have been back when we had our Nasty Little Press pamphlets published and performed at Latitude together when we actually met. That was in 2014, so it has literally been over a decade. Though I feel like I knew him before that, so it’s possible I knew of him before we met?
Ben Norris
This weekend is very theatre-heavy, so stay-tuned next week for more details on that!
Watching: Girlfriends, Love is Blind, Shrinking, Audrey, Layla, Sister Midnight, All My Friends Hate Me
Reading: A Poem for Every Winter Day, Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, The Feminist Killjoy Handbook by Sara Ahmed, Fearless 3 by Francine Pascal, Sodom & Gomorrah by Marcel Proust (audiobook)
Last weekend I went to the Lee Miller exhibition at the Tate Britain. From fashion to romance to the erotic, where I wondered how we might feel if our naked selfies were on display in an art gallery with loads of people scratching their chins at them. As well as travel photography and portraits of famous friends like Pablo Picasso, her work throughout the war was expansive. She celebrated women in work, captured the distruction of war, and explored the aftermath.
Especially poignant was a room where photography was not allowed, her images necessary to disparage Holocaust-deniers, but in this context, it evoked something I can’t quite put into words, but I welled up and wondered how the conveyor belt of people felt in that room. Then there was the iconic image of Lee Miller and another of David E. Scherman, a Jewish-American photographer, bathing in Hitler’s bathtub after the liberation of Dachau concentration camp.
The next day, I submitted a poem for a prize, entered the Latitude Trailer Park competition (though in hindsight I should have put more effort into the visuals…) and I just hope the concept is strong enough to be in with a chance! I really wanted to do something at Latitude for its 20th anniversary, but all I can do is try and I don’t want to volunteer there this year.
I also did some art-making inspired by the Lee Miller’e exhibition. Yes, I’m regressing to using condoms in my artwork like I did at college, but also so did Lee Miller and it’s hanging in the Tate Britain (c.1930). The text says ‘fuck the red light’ and ‘Do you really think it’s that easy to get rid of a wound?’ – a quote from Lee Miller’s short film ‘The blood of a poet’.
This week, other than my day job, I found out that the big project I’ve been applying for funding for countless times wasn’t successful, despite having had access support this time and reducing the budget to under £50,000. It is a lot of money but that’s because there are a lot of artists involved (over 100!) After a rush of emotions, I took immediate action and asked my access worker how soon we could re-apply.
Then I was about to do the washing up and it hit me, and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t go on, I couldn’t take one more thing. I’m processing the ending of a very complex relationship, I’m struggling with certain aspects of my day job, I’ve got low iron levels and a horribly itchy rash that I’m hoping is a reaction to a new hair mask and not another bedbugs infestation, I spotted some old mice droppings that I can’t even bare to think is evidence of a problem at my new place after five years dealing with it at my previous place.
Then a couple of days later I cried at work in front of colleagues for the first time, and my team were so lovely, offering emotional and practical support. I also found NHS tickets for Ashnikko and so now I’m feeling much better! I also went to Emo Night Brooklyn with some art therapy friends last night so that was a great release!
Watching: Girlfriends, Shrinking, Too Much, Ripple
Reading: A Poem for Every Winter Day, Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, The Feminist Killjoy Handbook by Sara Ahmed, Fearless 3 by Francine Pascal, Sodom & Gomorrah by Marcel Proust (audiobook)
Podcasts: What Now? with Trevor Noah, The Telepathy Tapes, On Attachment
Last weekend I went to Mystic Burek for the first time, which was a nice indulgence. It was a busy weekend after a Friday birthday party, but relaxing to have a friend round and go to a local short film screening (ahead of the brilliant CPIFF, which is coming up!)
We popped into a queer pub after and this really made me want to go out dancing, but I had an early morning and an escape room booked with some colleagues. We also had a very reasonable hot pot from Hotto Potto. I tend to go for the BBQ so this was new for me, and good for the wintry weather!
I’m still doing online CPD on Sunday evenings while I prep for the week ahead, and this week I stepped up my running regime to 7km, and continued my usual routine of swimming, dancing, and sauna. I’m also aiming to go to Pilates tonight and weight training in the morning (for the first time this year…)
I also got to walk along the canal between jobs at work, so I was very grateful for the break in this rainy spell! Aside from this blog, I also wrote a new poem on my commute home, and I hope to carve more time for creativity this weekend.
Watching: Girlfriends, Envious, Emily in Paris, Ripple
Reading: A Poem for Every Winter Day, Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, The Feminist Killjoy Handbook by Sara Ahmed, Fearless 3 by Francine Pascal, Sodom & Gomorrah by Marcel Proust (audiobook)
Podcasts: Jillian on Love, What Now? with Trevor Noah, The Telepathy Tapes, On Attachment
Music: Poppy, Kneecap, Fat Dog, The Last Dinner Party, System of a Down, Honey Dijon, Billy Talent, The Plot in You, No Doubt
We had a decent turn out last Sunday for the Forest Hill Stanza open mic. I also met someone who is a first year on the Art Psychotherapy MA, so it’s nice to have these connections. Otherwise, work is very much picking up, with a lot of outreach work as well as on the hospital wards!
The Purple Owl
I had a stressful start to the week due to being overtaxed and the cost of living as a single person being so much, with difficulties to do with technically being self-employed whilst my income is 99% PAYE now… so a lot of time spent calling up to cancel my TV licence now The Traitors is finished, Thames Water to get financial support, and HMRC (which I never got through to in time!). I also have been basically charged twice for my monthly season ticket due to an error, and it’s taking way too long to get my “automatic” refund.
signature polkadots
I’m excited to have some paid work accepted for publication, though I’m not sure if it’s public news yet so I’ll hold onto it until it’s released! This weekend is due to be quite a busy one socially, so I’m unsure if I’ll be able to make time for much creativity, or even much rest! I’m looking forward to some fun plans, but also looking forward to a bit of a calmer weekend next week!
Watching: The Traitors, Emily in Paris, Envious, Girlfriends
Reading: A Poem for Every Winter Day, Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett, The Feminist Killjoy Handbook by Sara Ahmed, Fearless 3 by Francine Pascal, Sodom & Gomorrah by Marcel Proust (audiobook)
Podcasts: What Now? with Trevor Noah, The Telepathy Tapes
Music: System of a Down, Queens of the Stoneage, Architects, Trivium, Scene Queen, South Arcade, Silent Planet, Bad Omens, Bloodywood, The Plot in You, Opeth, WARGASM, Poppy, The Blood Brothers
After last Sunday’s update, I did some of the life writing, and made myself first clay polymer creations: ice cream earrings (£28) and necklace (£35).
I can make you ice cream (New Young Pony Club)
I’m trying to make more time for reading for pleasure on Sundays to give me a little rest-injection on a day that feels like there are a lot of chores, followed by an evening online CPD, where I’m also batch cooking.
finally got a chain for this flamenco dancer
This weekend I host my second Spanish conversation group and as a one-off we went by Leo’s pop-up cafe, which has opened at what used to be Mamma Dough’s. It was great to be in such a welcoming space, though as the space before was more suited to the group, but we will see how it goes as they haven’t been as welcoming… despite the fact I brought eight people who would not have otherwise been there to spend money!
an alcove of art therapists
I also reconnected with some of my Art Psychotherapy cohort at a birthday, and met a friend for a hot drink on Sunday before the rigmarole of the working week started up again.
Watching: The Traitors, Ted Lasso, I Love Dick, Sunny, Girlfriends
Reading: A Poem for Every Winter Day, Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett, The Feminist Killjoy Handbook by Sara Ahmed
Podcasts: Jillian on Love, What Now? with Trevor Noah
Music: Beyoncé, Cardi B, Emmy the Great, WARGASM, System of a Down
Poet on page and stage. Creator of She Grrrowls. Facilitator. Writer. 