Freelance Reflections #194

It’s been over ten days since I’ve updated, and I’ve seen so many incredible exhibitions, which I’ve been gradually sharing on Instagram. These have included Nigerian Modernism at the Tate Modern, The Weight of Being at Two Temple Place, and Chiharu Shiota: Threads of Life, and Yin Xiuzhen: Heart to Heart, both at the Hayward Gallery.

Nigerian Modernism at the Tate Modern

A country I would love to visit, I was drawn to the bright colours featured in many of the pieces featured in this exhibition and I loved learning more about its art. In addition to the rich and vibrant artwork, I appreciated reading all the captions, and loved the response from Ben Enwonwu (1917-1994) on the comparison to Alberto Gracurelli: “I know he was influenced by African sculptures. But I would not be influenced by Giacomell, because he was influenced by my ancestors”. As I contemplate my own artistic response, I question how I can honour these works.

The Weight of Being: Vulnerability, Resilience and Mental Health at Two Temple Place

I was so moved by the first piece, which depicted different signs spray-painted with RIP SENI. Seni’s Law is a UK law enforced in 2022 that mandates transparency and accountability for the use of force in mental health settings. Named after Olaseni (“Seni”) Lewis, who died in 2010 after being disproportionately restrained by 11 police officers while a voluntary patient. Coming straight from work, there was a heaviness to the exhibition. It was particularly interesting to see work by John Wilson McCracken and follow his journey, woven through the exhibition Some of my favourite pieces here include textiles on dusters by art therapist Barbara Long, the depiction of subtle violence of Raksha Patel’s landscape, a project with poetry on plates created with refugees, pieces about fighting against injustices and division, plus extensive interesting sculptural, video and textile work, and self-portraiture. Much food for thought as an Art Psychotherapist.

Yin Xiuzhen: Heart to Heart

As I moved through this exhibition, I reflected on transitions and memories, with the difficulties of letting go of clothes, especially those I still like… whether something that seems practical or a retro prom dress that could be worn in Napoleon Dynamite. I enjoyed the use of suitcases and fabric to make cities, the cementing of clothes, the washing of polluted river ice blocks, the recreation of Chinese traditions through photography and sound, experimental glass and ceramics pieces, the long minibus I wished to crawl into, and the giant heart I could sit within. The transient nature of cities like London speaks to the description of home as “a collection of belongings packed and ready for transport”. Home is where the heart is, yet it is scattered across all corners of the city, where we can travel up to two hours to work or to see friends.

Chiharu Shiota: Threads of Life

This series of installations each created an immersive feeling, more energising at the start, and more sombre at the end. I found the letters extremely moving and shed a tear to those that felt like a message for me. I also found the illustrations impressive, with the sheer volume of them astounding in its discipline.

…Aside from this, and work, I also have been going through my old journal/diary entries from the last five years, picking out warning signs and trying to understand the reality I had been living all those years, to see it for what it was. My current focus on this now also means I am putting more practical creative tasks on the backburner, but I have been making some response art, which I’ll also be sharing on my Instagram, as I still need to finish the piece inspired by Nigerian Modernism and haven’t made a start on the rest. The piece above was inspired by the previous exhibition I saw in The Netherlands of Escher’s work.

Watching: Love is Blind Argentina, Shrinking, Girlfriends, Love on the Spectrum, Megan 2.0 (film)

Reading: The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, The Feminist Killjoy Handbook by Sara Ahmed, The Fugitive by Marcel Proust (audiobook), It Begins with You (audiobook), All About Love by bell hooks (audiobook)

Podcasts: What Now? with Trevor Noah

Music: HUMBE, Peso Pluma, The Plot in You, RAYE, Self Esteem

If you’d like to buy some books, please do!

Follow me on instagram: @carminamasoliver 

Freelance Reflections #81

Things are winding down, which means I’ve been catching up with the pile of emails that had built up, and applying for more work for the new year. I’m happy that I’ve pretty much managed to save my first two instalments of tuition fees, but I will have to save £515 a month to be able to pay May’s… and then I have no idea how I will do the same for the next two years after that. I’m trying to trust the process, but the uncertainty is not ideal! I’m applying for everything I can, from poetry jobs to perfume shops… I would have liked to have things already lined up for next year, but these ups and downs are typical. The main difficulty is not having savings I can use as a safety net now and not being eligible for a loan, and so having tuition fees to pay on top of living costs.

Last Sunday one of my fellow Art Therapist trainees offered me to join them and do a stall. It was indoors, thankfully, as it was chucking it down outside. It was only a little chilly from the doors, with lots of people coming and going, but Emily helped keep us keep warm with some delicious chai. I had recently finished my butterfly, and added text: ‘nature is not perfect’ to it. I didn’t make any sales, which is always disappointing, but the organisers only charged £10 a table and Emily let me join her for free, so I’ve made bigger losses in the past!

If you’ve read this, thank you for your time, and please do donate to and/or share my crowdfund, or buy a book or two from my shop. I hope you’re able to have a restful time over the festive period!

Freelance Reflections #57

I thought that in this blog instalment, I would go over what I’m been working on this week after someone queried me saying I’ve had a long day with the assumption that because I’d been working partly from home, and had some work cancelled, that it wouldn’t feel long. The fact that I am constantly doing *something* means that most days feel long. I realise that as much as I don’t always understand what certain people do day-to-day in their jobs, that people don’t always get what I do. But surely, they know I’m not laying in bed doing nothing?

I may work from bed sometimes, but the way I work could probably be better if I rested more, and appreciated the value of breaks and sleep. When people say things like this, it reminds me of another friend asking if I’ve been working. When you’re a freelance, artist, the lines between work and play blur, and, I’ve probably said it before, but I want to know when people this question… do you mean, did I do something that I was paid for? If so, how directly? Do you mean did I leave the house for work? Do you mean creative work, or other the kinds of work that you know I do?

Cat steals student’s chair.

Most of the time, unless I am doing something purely for pleasure and relaxation, then it would be fair game to call it work. On some level, other people seem to understand the notion that if I don’t do creative work, then I can never, for example, have a film made out of a novel. Sure, that may be a wild dream, but most people understand that if you don’t do the work, it’s never going to happen. But when it comes to actually appreciating this work on equal terms with their 9-5 work, the waters muddy. Is writing this blog work? Yes, it is. I’m not doing this purely for pleasure and relaxation. I’m doing it to connect with others and hopefully reach out to more audiences, as well as reflect on my work.

Things are busy at the moment for several reasons. I’m working towards a funding application deadline for 22nd November, I’m covering an extra 6-hour placement, and I’m recording podcast episodes for my music and spoken word project. This is on top of everything else that I do, and the only reason I’m vaguely staying afloat, though not really on top of things, is because my 6-hour teaching placements keep getting cancelled. The tuition side of my work is going to be intense until around 10th January, at which point, I will then worry about losing students, and I won’t have saved as much money as I would have liked, because I would have spent more on presents. I have to take 24th-28th off to be with family outside of London. I’ll work in between then and the New Year, taking the weekend for myself and loved ones, and I don’t get paid for that time off.

Food is important.

So, to reflect more specifically on this week, focussed purely on Monday to Friday, I’ll break it down:

  1. Eleven and a half hours of teaching (with twelve hours cancelled, which meant I was able to do other work etc…)
  2. Five to six hours on an ACE application that I hope will mean I get paid in future, if successful. This involves not only writing the application, but also a lot of admin for the festival I am producing, so that everything is pretty much in place for when I find out the result. I cannot even contemplate not getting funding as a possible scenario. If I think about things too much, I feel overwhelmed; I just have to keep moving forward and taking action.
  3. Around nine hours of travelling to and from students (a mixture of bus, train, bike, and walking). I used to do over three hours A DAY before I moved, so this is ideal now.
  4. Around seven hours of writing student reports, marking books, and planning lessons.
  5. Three hours of admin, which was mainly financial: sending invoices / completing time sheets, emailing and reviewing documents with my new (and first) accountant, and updating records.
  6. Two to three hours of content writing, because I massively reduced this.
  7. Around two and a half hours on learning the ukulele.

Then some of the non-work stuff I do:

  1. Around thirty hours sleeping.
  2. Nine hours of downtime (Netflix etc. and reading).
  3. Around seven to eight hours of cooking and eating dinner.
  4. Around four hours of the gym.
  5. Around three hours of language learning (Spanish and Turkish, with the former done over breakfast).
  6. Around three hours of lunch breaks.
  7. Around two and half hours of journaling.
  8. One and a half hours ironing.
  9. One and a half hours cleaning.
  10. One and a half hours food shopping.
  11. One hour washing my hair / bathing.
  12. 50 minutes of therapy.

Over the weekend, I’ll also do at least an hour of tuition work (marking etc), my new three-hour music production course at City Lit, and as many emails and festival application admin as I can fit in, which will be between six and nine hours.

Freelance Reflections #50

A nice round number for this exciting news! I will be starting up a new blog series on here as I just found out that I have successfully gained funding through Arts Council England’s Developing Your Creating Practice scheme, which funds established artists to explore a new direction of art.

I found out the news whilst in Cornwall last Wednesday, when aside from my usual content writing, I only had ten students across the whole month, so it’s certainly kept me busy on my return! I had pictured myself in parks with books and beer a lot more this month, but it’s also nice to be able to pay the rent!

Reaction shot

My funding is for me to explore music with spoken word poetry, which will involve me learning the ukulele, learning some basic music programming software, and interviewing some poets who have also worked with music. I’ll write more next time in the new blog series, which will be focussed on that.

I’ve been doing a lot of planning and reworking ideas so far, alongside content writing and my Stanza group. August seems to be slipping away, and with lots going on, I better get on with everything else on today’s agenda.

Freelance Reflections #42

This week has felt very busy and it still feels like I’m just trying to stay afloat. I’ve been suppressing a lot of emotions with the lead up to my grandad’s interment of ashes, along with the full moon. The walking challenge has been good, but it’s meant I’ve been walking past sunset and into the night. Head to my Instagram to find out more about the images below.

I love walking and listening to music, but I’ve been listening to a lot of Griefcast too. You can sponsor me here and leave a supportive message as I try to catch up, with one of my record days being 21,000 steps in attempt to make up for my week off sick. I read the word “Carmichael” and thought it was my name for a second. Cue violins.

A lot of people have been stressed about Grantium crashing, myself included, as I just needed to enter the details I’d prepared. There’s a lot of uncertainty about what things will look like over the summer and into the autumn, especially when waiting on funding and applications. It’s necessary to be flexible with any result.

Today or over this weekend I’m going to try to send some more books. Again, as I’ve had a week off sick, my income has gone down, so it would be the best time to buy books… though really the summer is a very uncertain time for a tutor as work tends to be term time! But as I have got a few copies of my latest book, and still some of ‘Circles’, now would be a great time and I can pop to the post office each week to send any more orders!

14.06.14 – ‘Writing in the Blackout’ Launch

blackoutI will be reading my ‘Vultures’ poem from the ‘Writing in the Blackout’ Anthology during its launch party at Keats House Museum, Saturday 14th June. I wrote the poem as a collaboration with Matthew Dickerson; his image was commissioned for the anthology. The anthology is a online zine that explores themes of censorship in the arts and freedom of expression. Carmina has had her work featured here and will be standing alongside other selected poets to perform their work. The launch will also have 25 limited edition copies of the anthology available to buy for just £5. For more event info, please visit the page here.