Tag: poetry

Don’t Fritter Your Fiver

Other

Since I’m saving for my MA whilst on little more than minimum wage, and, I’m pretty sure this recession stuff is still rolling, I thought it would be useful to think of little ways to save money.  One tool I should point out is the Drink Aware website, as it promotes healthier drinking habits too.  Out of interest, this month I kept track of how I’ve spent my fivers.  Although I have at times given into the urge to splurge on sale items I can’t afford, it is often the little things that add up and make all the difference between a a healthy balance and, well, overdrawn.  As my mum always says, ‘look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves.’

So I looked at ways that I have been frittering my fivers!  This way I can see what my spending habits are and whether I am spending it on necessities or luxuries.  It went a little something like this…

– 04/01/12: £1.50 – Basmati Rice from Iceland.

– 07/01/12: £3.26 – Chocolate Crêpes, Terry’s Chocolate Orange, and 5 Aero Xmas Trees, from Sainsbury’s.

– Chocolates and a present: £4.50, from Sainsbury’s.

– 10/01/12: £1.52 for postage of poetry submissions.

– 21/01/12: Dessert at Nando’s.

– 26/01/12: More chocolate.

– Various: £2.60 to get to work in Epsom.

So, looking over my spending, I spend a lot on chocolate, which tends to be when I’m visiting my boyfriend.  I had a feeling I was doing this and told him maybe we should try not to do it so much.  The only necessities were the rice and travel for work.  The postage was also a wise spend.  And the present could be argued as unnecessary but I think it was worthwhile!

Okay, I’m partial to a bit of chocolate in the evening but I think I can go for a couple of days without (as I write, there’s a strip of chocolate in the cupboard which I am foregoing to get some things ticked off my to-do list.  So, if I stopped buying as much chocolate, I could save approximately £10-15 a month.  That’s £120-180 a year!  That could practically get me a festival ticket or a cheap holiday! That could buy me more poetry books – even though I have around 10 to read, my Gran got me a membership for the Poetry Society which I want to use.  And I think supporting poetry is probably more important than chocolate (although that arguably helps with serotonin levels and increases happiness – yay!)

So, if you fancy not frittering your fiver, you could use it to buy some poetry… perhaps even help me out and get a copy of my book/eBook, as I could do with the feedback (and the chocolate money – okay, what if I promise I won’t fritter?)  So, I’m not doing anything silly like giving up chocolate, but I am thinking more wisely about spending so much on it, so maybe I’ll only get some if it’s like a really good deal! 😉

I’ll end this post with a new poem that Matt and I are going to use for a project we’re working on.

January

New year, same you; but with added shine,
a slicker rhyme, I’m feeling fine,
each day is mine – and I’m on fire.
I am climbing, I am always getting higher,
as I shoot and grow,
my roots, I know, are firmly on the ground.
I am free to feel, myself, so real,
I am finally unbound.

xxx

Know Yourself: Your Inner Core

Inspiration, News

The past few days can be explained by something that happened to me yesterday morning.    I had bought two travel-cards for that day and today.  As I stepped off the train at Waterloo and my ticket for the day somehow flew out of my hand.  Everything turned to slow motion as it slipped between the train and the platform’s edge and on to the tracks.  In a panic, I rushed to someone who worked there at the barrier’s and explained what had happened.  He said I would have to buy another ticket if I couldn’t find it, and so he followed me as I sped along the tracks trying to find where I dropped it.  Thankfully, I found it and I stopped my shaky panic as another worker lent down with a litter picker and fished it out.

It was a microcosm of the emotions I had been through the past few days.  For personal reasons, I had been on an emotional roller-coaster (excuse the cliché) and felt a switch between unlucky and lucky.  I’d cried myself to sleep for the first time ever, and learnt that the only way you can combat that is to take some sleeping pills to send you off.  The next day I tried to keep my tears at bay whilst doing yoga, being told I was ‘strong’ and to remember my ‘inner core’ (actually something my mum always says, but at this point coming from the dulcet tones of Leah Bracknell).  I made my way through the work day at Sainsbury’s and was nearly about to break when during my review session, my manager said ‘you always come in with a smile on your face,’ due to the irony of how utterly rubbish I felt at the time.  The review was great and made me feel a lot better about myself and I even managed to get my Saturdays back by asking to change my shift pattern in April.

So, on to more positive and self-affirming things.  On 12th January, my eBook was officially released on iTunes.  It appears one person has bought a copy from California, so whoever you are, please let me know what you think!   I think it’s important to get excited about these little things and to remember the words of Leah Bracknell in day-to-day life.  Sometimes I read over my school reports and even things like my Facebook page, just to remind myself of who I am and that I like who I am.  My dad has always taught me it’s very important to like yourself.  And despite being labeled “shy” by others, my mum has always said I have an inner confidence about myself.

Some other things I wanted to share are related to the poetry of others.  At my Aunt and Uncle’s house, which is a lot more like mine will be than the spotless house I live in with my parents, they have a poem on the fridge by Rosie Milligan:

Dust if you must.

But wouldn’t it be better,
To paint a picture, or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed?
Ponder the difference between want and need.

Dust if you must.
But there is not much time
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb!
Music to hear, and books to read,
Friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must.
But the world’s out there
With the sun in your eyes,
the wind in your hair,
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain.
This day will not come round again.

Dust if you must.
But bear in mind,
Old age will come and it’s not kind.
And when you go, and go you must,
You, yourself, will make more dust.

There’s a band that I saw at Bestival, that I really want to see again, called Los Campesinos.  I just wanted to share a spoken word section of their song This is how you spell ‘HAHAHA, We Destroyed the Hopes and Dreams of a Generation of Faux-Romantics.’  I find the combination of music, song and spoken word inspiring but, not only that, I find the words very poetic and yet witty and contemporary.  Have a read:

You walk in from your mother’s balcony
Panda-eyed and freezing cold
You bury yourself in my chest to warm
I notice the goosebumps on your arms, millions
And whether it’s because of the numbers of hours spent laid facedown on my bed listening to white noise, or, well, obviously it’s not, I somehow manage to translate them from braille

The trails on your skin spoke more to me than the reams and reams of half finished novels you’d leave lying all over the place
And every quotation that’d dribble from your mouth like a final, fatal livejournal entry
I know
I am wrong
I am sorry

With that, I am going to wrap up.  One last thought; if you picked up a copy of The Times today, there was an article by Francis Beckett titled ‘Take the penury out of the penmanship’ which is about my MA course in Creative Entrepreneurship.  I’m feeling quite organised and excited, though still a little scared in a Metric-Help-I’m-Alive kind of way.’

Also, I’ve found there’s a Canadian woman who is also an entrepreneurial writer who’s stolen my name!  Well, she’s called herself La Carmina, and her real name is Carmen Yuen. I think we’re different enough for it not be annoying or add confusion, but as I like the uniqueness of my name and she’s more well-known than me, it disheartens me a little.  But to end, it is important to know yourself and remember your inner core.

xxx

Christmas is Coming…

Music, News

Winter has been rather chilly (no surprises there Radiohead) but the sun was glorious the week before.  Here are some photos I took whilst waiting at Worcester Park train station.  The skirt is from Primark.  I bought it and then realised it’s verging on the ‘midi’ which I didn’t think I’d like but it’s nice and floaty and whooshes around when you spin.

So, me and Matt have been posting these little cards around – you can grab one from two of my local libraries (Worcester Park and Sutton) as well as the Poetry Library at the Southbank Centre.

I’ve taken a few comparison shots of Christmas trees as I’m pretty proud of our tree this year 🙂  Mine is the one at the end, and you can see it all lit up on the left of this text.

A slight digression here, but I had my iPod on shuffle and found these two tracks went really well together: Enter Shikari’s Mothership, followed by Bloc Party’s Talons.  I’ve got them to listen to via YouTube just below…

Speaking of music… after buying tickets to see Rihanna in May for my birthday, the day finally came!  I went with my friend from uni, Josie, and some of her friends.  Calvin Harris began the night, get everyone going (well, some people going… as we worked our way through the crowd there were a few people standing very still and leaving piles of bags and coats for us to trip over).  The lady herself was, as expected, amazing!  Highlights include Rihanna playing the drums, pole-dancing as an art-form (along with her own rather saucy dancing) and the finale of Umbrella, ending a night of fantastic tunes.  It was also quite cool seeing all the different costume changes as well as witnessing someone who can keep breathing with all that singing and dancing.

In other news, I have had my haircut so that it’s no longer asymmetric.  I hadn’t had a cut for 7 months so I splashed out at Toni & Guy (Mustafa is expensive but he’s my favourite) and I know you’re “supposed” to go every 4-6 weeks or something but I’m going to leave it until May now.  I’m growing it out and I can’t wait!  I have a full fringe as well which I haven’t had since I was at Primary school or something!  I spent a few days in Norwich and Matt got me some lovely presents (he made me open some but I’ve saved a few) and below you can see the amazing picture he’s drawn off us 🙂

I came home to London to find my self-published book!  It had typos which I have hopefully sorted now but I’d really welcome some feedback.  When I get published by a publishing company (remaining positive and not saying ‘if’) I want it to be very visually exciting but I’ve just done the basic bones so that if people want to rip it apart for the poetry they can.  That said, if someone completely hated it, they probably wouldn’t like anything I did but I am welcoming any constructive criticism.

I’ve also got an eBook and priced them both quite cheaply.  The hard copy comes with extra poems and costs £2 more than the eBook.  Both are available here from Lulu by clicking here.  In about 6-8 weeks they’ll be available from other places like Amazon too.  Great if you end up with a new Kindle or Ipad in your stocking this year.  It’s Christmas in half an hour – so have a great time celebrating!

xxx

Hold Your Beliefs Lightly

Poetry Gigs

Last week I saw my friend Siobhan Belingy for her birthday and she gave me this cool pink ring – it’s eyes move!  I also saw Grayson Perry’s exhibition at The British Museum and loved it!  My Gran and Siobhan had both said it was unmissable so I’m really glad I got to see it.  I loved the mix of old and new, Perry’s unique style (with the use of some of my favourite colours) and the use of text and poetry.  It also dealt with really interesting subject matters, and I’d really recommend it.  There’s a picture of the bike outside with my boyfriend Matt.  We also went to the East London Design Show (good but we had to pay to get in?!) and Winter Wonderland which was lovely but neither me or my boyfriend could afford even a bag of candy floss!

Lastly, on Tuesday I went to my last open mic night for some time at Herne Hill’s Half Moon pub for Needle & Thread.  I did some new material but stumbled quite a lot so wasn’t the best gig.

I’m now going into hiatus for a bit to concentrate on my MA work as the essays have been stressing me out.  I’ve got a few things in the pipe-line (I met up with another poet this night to discuss future event plans) but I’m not going to hit the open mic nights regularly until at least around May.  Also, Angel from Big Brother was performing at this open mic!  I don’t know if anyone else knew who she was but I’ve watched every year of Big Brother so I found it rather exciting! Me and Matt have been flyering and getting organised with that but him mum reckons we should be charging for them.  We’ve actually learnt a lot from doing it but it would be great if anyone knew how to get different shops selling them!  We could have made about £90-390 from them!

I’ll keep an update on what I’m up to other than not going to open mic events 🙂

xxx

Savage Messiahs of London City

Inspiration

I have just updated my status on TweetDeck that I am “craving drink and fancy dress. instead i’m attending talks and blogging. oh, how grown up i have become since time/money have been eaten up”.  I am actually too tired to write this blog now so I’m going to start/finish it on Thursday, if I remember…

I’ve got a spare half an hour at the moment, so am updating in chunks.  On Halloween, I went to a discussion about Laura Oldfield Ford’s Savage Massiah; a book where her work from 2005, in the ‘zine of the same title, has been collected and formed into a linear format.  I travelled straight from work and so had to eat dinner out.  I went to a Thai restaurant called Mae Ping which was a welcome change from my frequent Nando’s trips (much as I love them, I had eaten there the three days prior to this).  I ordered pretty much straight away, from the ‘express’ menu, and it took a mere five minutes before a steaming plate of Prawn Pad Thai was in front of me.  It was quite spicy and had nice big prawns, and absolutely delicious, and cost just £7.15 (including a 65p service charge).  I was able to pay quickly, and had a lovely little after dinner mint. I was disappointed that Laura didn’t give a reading from the book, but it was an interesting, thought-provoking discussion.  I had wanted to see her since in my undergraduate Creative Writing modules, I had been compared to her in terms of writing.  The book is set out like a graphic novel; with Biro drawings alongside poetic musings.  It is definitely on my Christmas list.

…Another chunk.  I liked the ideas of Laura showing her work on different levels.  Something I had been thinking about starting, and will experiment with soon, is hand-made poetry booklets.  I was inspired at the talk to try out fly-posting, and one idea I have had is to go on walks around residential areas with photocopied poetry sheets, and post them to different houses, as it’s always nice (and rare) when you get something actually interesting through the post-box.  I agree it is important for art to be communicated with all kinds of people.  Laura also stated that her views tend to polarize people.  This is where I felt conflicted.

I have been irritated by one of my friends who always comments on me being ‘middle class’.  It is not so much me having a problem with the label, but just the assumptions that my friend makes of people with this label, that just make it appear that she has a chip on her shoulder… herself and her partner are educated to a high degree, and she has lived in a nice country house, and is in a financial position to live out of her family home.  Middle-class-me is very fortunate to be able to live in the suburbs with my parents, but I cannot afford to move out and am working in a lower-ranking job.  Here, the boundaries of class are mixed up.  This is why I think that Laura was talking about this subject without acknowledging these elements of confusion – the students that are all in debt (and the future who will face more debts) and the classes where “Daddy” doesn’t pay for everything .  I’m not complaining about my deal, as I said, I think myself very lucky.  I’m just saying that the reality is that if I or my friends (including the one I mentioned) wanted to live in London, we would not be able to.  She seems to consider herself ‘working class’ and I ‘middle class’.

Laura referred to ‘yuppies’ but, essentially, there is nothing wrong with working hard and doing so in finance, or what was called the ‘creative industries’.  She later rephrased this term by stating she meant ‘the rich’ which makes more sense to me.  She spoke very eloquently throughout, yet this term ‘yuppy’ took her backwards because it is, basically, a derogatory term, poking fun at those better off.  In fact, very few people are rich, and she would be faced with a lot more understanding if she used the simple term ‘rich’ because it includes the majority.  Otherwise, like my friend, she appears to have a chip on her shoulder.  What she was really talking about, it seemed to me, was opportunities for artists to work in the system we have.  That is why she is criticizing Capitalism.  I agree with her opinions on Capitalism, but, we need to work with what we have got as well.  She is aware of it, as shown by the fact that her work does operate in galleries as well as the street, and that the audience had to pay £10 to attend the discussion (£5 for me, being a student).  This point was brought up in the questions section and although I thought it was quite clever, Laura seemed defensive… then again, you would be a bit because it does kind of undermine your opinion in this case.

Well, I’m just going to wrap this up quickly because I have actual important stuff to write, like one of three 3000 word essays in for January that I’ve only written under 400 words for after over 3 hours of work.  With just two days free, and those mostly taken up by seeing my boyfriend, I don’t really have that much time on my hands.  Not that I’m complaining, I love my boyfriend.  It just means I need to work out how to stop writing so much in my blog entries whilst still saying everything I want to!  I went to a talk on the relationship between poetry and visual art on Wednesday.  I didn’t know of the artists (should probably look these things up) but it was interesting and I made some notes on it.  The picture above is by the artist in the discussion, Simon Lewty, and the poet was Peter Larkin.

I’ve bumped into a couple of people recently on my way to my MA. One was a guy from college, and the other was my friend Tom.  It was great to bump into Tom, and we ended up having dinner at Woodin’ Shades which was nice.  It’s my dad’s birthday today so, happy 44th birthday to him!  Now, off to do a bit more essay, call the boyfriend, and have a take away, hopefully watch some TOWIE!

xxx

No Space to Think

Poetry Gigs

So, this week I went to Jawdance.  I had to go after Chris Syrus, and his poetry band.  He was delivering a great message for some school children, and it sounded great combined with the musician, and the female singer had an amazing voice!  I thought I bet I’m next.  And I was. Still, it went okay and there were a couple of people who said they enjoyed my poem.  I had been to Nando’s (again) with Hannah, but she had gone.  I had got a sore throat after talking to my friend Natalie on Skype the day before (I’m not sure how big a part the conversation played) and I was starting to feel even worse.  Although I couldn’t find any online material on her, Subi Shah was another highlight.

On Thursday, my boyfriend Matt (who isn’t picking up his phone grrr… hence I’m making use of the time by writing this and watching Stephen Fry on BBC Iplayer.) … where was I?  Okay, so we went to Wetherspoons for some dinner and made it just in time to the Donald Hope Library, which I had never been to before.  I’m not going to lie… I could have really done with the £25 prize, but the winner gave a great speech.  Gutted that I didn’t even make the top 5, but there were some kind comments, and I’m happy to try again next time!

Kathryn Corrick was guest speaker for my MA course this week and we were set a task to create a story from one of two photos from her Feet on the Overground project.  I attempted at a Twitter/Facebook story but it didn’t work, so as a back-up, I did a YouTube video.  As I’m so busy, genius that I am, I dried my hair whilst filming the still photograph and created a kind of train movement/sound image, which I annotated on the website itself, with speech bubbles.

I got offered background work in a film, but being realistic about money, time, MA work, and wanting to see my boyfriend this week… I had to pull out.  But it seems like MSFT is a great place to look out for opportunities like that.  With this cold not getting any better, I am in deep need of a rest… and going up to Norwich for a few days is the closest I’ll get to a rest these days!  Funnily enough, the next event I’m going to is a Speech Motion one!  I’m hoping to feel better by then, but at the moment I’m powering through my last shift of the week at Sainsbury’s.  I just hope UEA London have sorted the bloody heating system out, because if that room gets any colder I’m going to shrink away into a giant wooly scarf.

Also!  Russell, who puts together Apples & Snakes London events, says I’m overdue for a guest spot at Jawdance!  Watch this space!

xxx

Words & Music

Poetry Gigs

Had a busy week! Tuesday I went out with my friend Laura and my ex-housemate Kirstie (who is travelling around India as of today!) Me and Laura had Nando’s (standard) before meeting Kirstie to go to the Camden Barfly for a gig.  For only a fiver we got to see Supercute and the inspiring Miss Kate Nash in her side project The Receeders.  It was definitely worth seeing and an interesting path for Kate Nash.  Also spotted her boyf Ryan Jarman at the bar.

Last night, after a really stressful day trying to work out PDFs, trying to deal with too many DM boot bids on Ebay and a shift at Sainsbury’s (oh, and after walking in the wrong direction to the venue – typical) I found myself a haven at The Gallery Cafe for The Word House poetry event.  I saw a friendly face in Captain of the Rant, (check out his event, there’s one this Friday I plan to go along to!) and after a quick chat and a rather unimportant embarrassing incident I found myself in, Christian Watson took to the stage.  He was incredible!  I don’t really know what else to say.  It started on a high and that high just did not stop.

The open mic included the likes of Emma Jones who performed her winning set from this year’s Glam Slam (and myself, performing my winning poem from the ‘Loss’ category).  John Berkavitch continued the features and was also amazing, and played with the audiences emotions with a poem that began with a cliché, went forward with comedy and ended with words to send shivers across your skin.  He then told us to read The Empty Space, which is so cheap on Amazon I may have to add it to my huge pile of books to read.  I’m currently reading Doris Lessing’s The Golden Notebook.  It’s massive.

Last up before a dash for the tube (both him and me) was Inua Ellams.  I have said before how lovely he comes across and he is so genuine.  Not only that, but he has an amazing way with words, and also an amazing Graphic Artist. Jealous much.  All in all, a wonderful evening, raising money for Oxfam, yay!  And I even made it home for a late-night viewing of X-factor.

I’ve been working as usual, doing lots of useful and interesting MA stuff (including a gruelling day about accounting) and spent a couple of days with my boyfriend in Norwich, forcing him to come with me to a Feminist Society discussion group, and coming back to his only to watch a rom-com.  Sorry love.  Oh yeah!  And we did Yoga.  About 2 hours of it!  It was really hardcore, seriously, my legs hurt a couple of days later and everything.  Oh yeah, he’s starting up this Sketch Club – if you’re creative in any way, get involved!  I also saw my Gran for dinner with my parents which was a welcome return from the coach journey from Norwich.

Matt made me these cool timetables that you can draw and wipe off.  It’s really good because it gets your mind focused and you feel good ticking things off.  I’ve missed a few things off but I think I’m doing pretty well!  I wonder if I can count my Sainsbury’s work as exercise since it’s manual? Hmmm!

Adios!

xxx

 

Art Attack

Inspiration

So, I’ve been really busy at the moment.  I’ve been craving some free time because I’ve been so inspired by a lot of art I’ve seen recently, amongst other things.  I went to the Joan Miró exhibition at the Tate Modern with my parents.  My only knowledge of the artist was from postcards from my dad’s dad, Juan Antonio Masoliver Ródenas, a well-known poet, writer and translator in Spain, whom, sadly I haven’t got to know very well as a grandfather.

I had been out the night before at my friend Gordon’s house, where we ate a Chinese takeaway and drank until about 5am.  I went home at 7am to avoid snoring and discomforted sleep, woke up still tired around midday, had brunch and went to meet my parents at the gallery.  Despite my tiredness, the exhibition exceeded my expectations and as it showing until September 11th, I recommend going along.  It made me proud of my Spanish heritage.

I loved the way he used poetry and the flowing imagination present throughout the years of his career.  There was an amazing variety, with pieces of intricate details, simple serials of lines and shapes, and burnt canvases.  The work is both personal and political, surreal and yet thoughtful, and experimental, evolving through time.

I recently watched the programme Graffiti Wars, which was incredibly interesting.  I’ve had an interest in Street Art for a long time, my Gran often buying me little books and sending me articles about it.  The documentary centred on the feud between Banksy and Robbo.  Prior to watching it, I have been a fan of Banksy, and watched a docu-film directed by him, called Exit Through The Gift Shop.

A lot of people have taken sides, with graffiti writers tagging ‘Team Robbo’ alongside their work.  Robbo claimed in a book that he was introduced to Banksy and said ‘oh yeah, I’ve heard of you’ to which Banksy replied ‘oh, well, I haven’t heard of you.’  Robbo responded by slapping him and saying ‘well, you won’t forget me now, will you?’  Since both artists keep their identity secret to protect themselves from the law, and this exchange could easily not be correct (Banksy denied ever meeting Robbo) it seems ridiculous to take sides and stupid that the whole thing escalated the way it is.

My opinion is that, Robbo was aware that retelling this story about Banksy, whether it happened or not, would raise his profile.  Maybe Banksy was wrong in defacing Robbo’s 1985 piece, but it was clearly already defaced by smaller tags and I thought it was a witty piece, which ultimately helped Robbo establish himself as a Street Artist, and not just a graff writer – of which I do believe there is a difference.  A Street Artist is intelligent and thought-provoking, creating aesthetically pleasing works.  A graffiti writer is less about the talent and ideas, and more about vandalism and ego, with the kudos of getting to hear-to-reach spots.  That’s why the police leave Street Art and clean up ugly, meaningless markings.

Throughout the documentary Robbo came across bitter and jealous.  Okay, Banksy may be a ‘sell out’ but I believe it does come down to a resentment for the success and money that Banksy has made for himself.  I want to make a career out of what I love doing, and there are many jokes about the poor poet, but by me doing an MA in Creative Entrepreneurship and wanting to make a living out of what I love doing, does that make me a ‘sell out’?  Making money is just one element of the Capitalist society we live in.  We can’t beat them, so we have to join them.  Banksy himself stated he believed his work was ‘overrated’ but if you’re offered over £100,000 for your work, are you going to turn it down?

At the end of the day, Robbo’s success was down to Banksy, and on the documentary, he admits that himself.  And Robbo does have talent, and really, the feud should just be forgotten, so other graffiti writers can be inspired to turn to Street Art and do what they love for a living.  Sadly, Robbo was said to have ended up in a coma, which was a shocking statement to end the documentary on.

I have also been to see the ‘Love is What You Want’ exhibition by Tracey Emin at the Hayward Gallery.  As you can see from the website, it compromised of her trademark blankets, along with neon signs, films, collections of memorabilia, drawings, paintings, sculptures and her writing.  As I said to my friend, Siobhan Belingy, I could have lived in it, it was so good.

I feel really inspired by all this work I’ve seen to get into my poetry and get more into art and illustration alongside my writing.  I’ve been meaning to do a painting for ages and hope to get round to it soon.  I’ve got a big sketchbook that my boyfriend Matt drew in whilst drunk and I’m going to get back into a good creative practice.  I want to create text-based stuff, but with visuals, like these artists, and those such as Jenny Holzer.  I gave a painting I did during my art foundation at Central Saint Martins to my Gran, and she told me her friend had really liked it and often asked if I’ve done any more artwork and that I must carry on doing it.  Sometimes I think of that and think maybe I should keep doing it.  I must have some morsel of talent to have been at CSM.  I think it’s just that I lack confidence with it, and I know my technical skills are not the best, and the reason I didn’t pursue it was because I didn’t see it as a practical way of making money.  But maybe, combined with my writing, working with my hands again could be something positive.

Here’s a bit of my work from my foundation year, starting with the one my Gran has.

piece for a friend
final piece, installation

xxx

The Month Flew By Like A Bird

News, Poetry Gigs

I can’t believe a month has gone arrghhhh! I’ve been really busy with these things:

– Graduating

– Celebrating

– Going to New York

– The Boyfriend

Whilst in New York, I went to the Nuyorican Poets Cafe.  I wanted to perform in the open mic but my parents wanted to leave before midnight and the slam didn’t start until after then and the whole thing ended at 2am!!  Another thing that was different to a lot of the UK events is its popularity – I have never seen a poetry event so packed.  It’s a lot louder as well, with people clicking and making noises like ‘umm hmm!’ at certain lines as the audience show their appreciation.  The host killed time as one of the feature acts was late by asking where people were from, my mum shouting ‘England’ with a hilarious amount of pride in her voice, and also made everyone dance 80’s style to flashing lights and music, which was so bizarre you couldn’t help but laugh along, attempting to move slightly in the crush of the crowd.

The performers were enjoyable, typically American, humourous, intelligent and passionate.  Although we left early, I got a feel for the night, along with books and a t-shirt.

me in my NPC t-shirt... just washed my hair

While away, I did a lot of reading and finished Bright Shiny Morning by James Frey, Bossypants by Tina Fey, and How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran (long post response to follow). I recommend them all.  I’m now reading Laura Dockrill’s Echoes.  It’s like Roald Dahl for adults… or kids who swear.

Last night I went to The Tea Box and did the open mic, apologising for anyone who may have wanted to see me the last time (when I had to pull out ON THE DAY because of my stupid eye ulcer).  Sadly, the owners weren’t there for me to apologise to in person.  I went on quite early and was glad to be able to relax and enjoy the likes of Anna Le, Amy Acre, and Harriet Cramer (and also Peter Hayhoe earlier on) plus many other acts I didn’t know the name of.  Donall Dempsey and Janice Windle did a great job hosting as well.  Harrie got very drunk which amused most people.  She said stuff such as wanting tits, but the link says she has the same size as me but skinnier, but then I sometimes say the same thing about myself, especially when drink, and especially when my friend Helen is there.  I’m shocked to see my waist is the same… I guess that’s the difference being 6 inches taller affords.  Anyway, she is a beautiful, talented, lovely lady with hilarious and we should both get published.  Ideally by Harper Collins.  I missed being like that, as in, drunk… which reminds me, I read a poem inspired by a programme I watched on Amy Winehouse, written about 3 years ago, and, as I didn’t record the gig, here it is:

Blanket

I want to build
myself up to the highest height,

Just to look down
at the fall and be filled with fright.

I want to be, the
best I can be,

Prove them wrong
about my poetry.

Yeah, I want that
pretty face, with the tear stains on show,

Mascara up my eyes,
just so that they all know.

I want to be
perfect, to be a success,

I want to be one of
the best.

I want them all to
read my lips, read my mind,

Then drink myself
to destruction at the end of the night.

I want to fall in
love again with a good boy,

Just so he can
break my heart.

Because if I’m in a
mess, feel my life is destroyed

Then it at least
provides more material for my art.

And I can just pick
up my needle and thread,

Scrub with soap,
the sheets on my bed.

Try stitching my
life up to resemble what was,

Continue the search
for the Wizard of Oz,

Pray for a change
to a non-existent God,

Click my heels
together.

Come home.

That copied kinda weird.  Anyway, I read a poems from actual book things that are published and shit!  To look all profesh.  One was called Flowers and was in issue 13 of The Delinquent.  The next was I Am No Better from the Workshop UEA Undergraduate Anthology which you can buy from places like The Hive, The Workshop and WATERSTONES in Norwich.  Hell yeah!  I have a poem in a book in the biggest book shop in the UK; the one that is still alive!  Although, I couldn’t see it there, but I saw it in The Hive, and The Hive is one of the best book shops ever, Stephen Fry agrees.  I also did Cinderella by heart, just to, you know, show that I can sometimes memorize stuff.

I think I shall end there.  Oh, also, i’m working at Bestival and need to know ideas for what I can go as on different days, the fancy dress theme is ‘Rockstars, Popstars and Divas’.  I just wanna  my own clothes but have things like a black messy wig with white streaks… think I may use it for Amy Winehouse, if that’s not in bad taste… which it shouldn’t because it’s like a tribute to her, because I like her music and she will be a legend, a legend ending in tragedy, but a ledge nevertheless.

xxx

News Tuff

News

Just a quick post to update on some stuff.

Firstly, a quick note to check out this:

The production of this show/book was kicking off whilst I was on my internship at Penned in the Margins and I’d be there if I could, so if you’re at the Fringe fest, go see it!

In other news, I had to pull out of my gig at The Tea Box the other week because I got an ulcer on the cornea of my left eye.  It was horrible and swollen, and painful and depressing.  I also lost my new job at B&Q because I had to miss my first day and couldn’t say when I was next available.  Get more on the dole anyway.  I’m hoping to get a really good job that’s actually related to my interests as well.  Hopefully Royal Academy of the Arts!  Fingers crossed!  Or at least at a theatre or cinema.

I took these drops that made my pupil eat my iris. Scary.

My eye feels fine now but I’ve been told I can’t wear contact for a WHOLE month.  I’ve got some BOGOF prescription sunglasses but I may opt for the one-contact look during my graduation next week.  In New York I’ll be happy to wear my glasses… I’m actually getting more used to it.  I also entered into the Specsaver’s ‘Spectacle Wearer’ competition to win a holiday and a modelling contract (ha!) so wish me luck!

Here’s the picture (very hard to get the whole outfit in, MySpace style):

I also got a 2:1 for my English Literature degree at UEA and so am officially on my Creative Entrepreneurship MA at UEA London – woop!  I really need to get on with stuff so I have something to show for the summer. I’m so gutted about missing my last gig as I was looking forward to doing my whole 20-30min set by heart 😦

I have no idea when my next gig will be, so if anyone wants me, please let me know!  Preferably paid 🙂

xxx