Tag: performance poetry

The birthmonth has began! And it’s not the best time, but at the same time, maybe having a rest from essays will do me good. I’m having nightmares that my essay grades are so bad they don’t let me complete the course ever, and when I got my placement report, I had a completely irrational panic that it was a message about me doing something majorly wrong! The report was glowing, thank you very much brain.

My gran recommended the exhibition ‘The Time is Always Now’ at the National Portrait Gallery, and took a train all the way from Hastings to see me and the exhibition , give me a gift, and treated me to tapas! The next day I went to The Avocado Show with my mum and saw ‘For Black Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When The Hue Gets Too Heavy’. It was absolutely incredible, a must-see, blending humour with serious topics, great music and beautiful song and dance. A choreopoem, it was inspired by “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide / When the Rainbow Is Enuf” by Ntozake Shange. I had missed the boat previously, and my mum had introduced me to the Shange text, so it was meaningful to go together.

I spent a solid two days feeling like I was treading water as I tackled my essays over Sunday and Monday. That feels like an age away now after uni and placement days, plus last night’s She Grrrowls. Although the audience was strangely small, and there was some stress beforehand, I thoroughly enjoyed the night. I was quite affronted by people posting online to sell on tickets and pulling out of attending in favour of doing an open mic. Very bad form, to be honest. The people who did attend were an incredible audience and gave the features the love and enthusiasm they deserve. Eleanor May Blackburn’s ‘Does my Fanny Look Big in This?’ was incredibly relatable in so many ways, and was so well told, again dealing with some serious subjects, surrounded by a lot of humour. Phoebe Wagner then showcased her film ‘(Pub)lic House’, which was so interesting and important and can be watched for free by all online!

Today after a full work day, I then celebrated my mum’s birthday with a meal. Tomorrow I celebrate my own with friends after Race for Life in the morning! You can donate here.

Watching: One Day, The Simpsons

Reading: Introduction to Object Relations by Lavinia Gomez

Podcasts: The Process Podcast by Tyrone Lewis

Music: Pinhanı

Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!

It’s Friday! I am going to another CPIFF event, but I also forgot to send a timesheet, so I’m delaying renewing my gym membership yet again, and I’m increasing my work on Saturdays so I’ll be working consistently 9am-5pm with only travel breaks to snack on. It feels really tough to be working so hard and be left struggling to pay for things as well as trying to save tuition fees, feeling like the money just evaporates as soon as it hits the account. I know I’m very privileged to be able to even scrape through paying this course and live in a nice flat in London, but it’s also very tiring and stressful at times. It was my course mate’s birthday, and a few of us went to their house and friends made Chinese and Korean food. She also has a cat! However, I had stress with my food delivery being cancelled, so I spent most of Sunday trying to get some food in from the shops, and even forgot to do a task set from uni!

Some work came up that would mean scarifying up to three days of holiday. I feel so exhausted it’s hard to think about filling up this time with yet more work, but I also need the money. However, it was also well below what I would normally expect per hour, so I’ve left that up to fate and put myself forward, also explaining it’s below what I’d usually expect. Most likely, someone happier to work for less will be accepted for the job. If I can spend less time busying myself and spending the money I earn, then it means more time reading and essay writing. I feel so discombobulated, I feel like it’s reflected in this post!

It’s been the last day of uni before a break, and my last week on placement before a break. I’ll also have some work cancelled on Mondays and Fridays due to school holidays. I celebrated the end of term with Salt Pizza, which was great, and tried a Bollywood dancing workshop last night with the NHS Breathe programme. I think I’ll probably go to the last one next week! I’m also seeing a couple of friends the next two days, so it feels a bit like things are winding down… but I’m really looking forward to sorting my messy flat out on my first day off on Tuesday!

This Sunday is the Forest Hill Poetry Stanza Open Mic at Forest Hill Library 2-4pm. Free for all to attend!

Watching: Atlanta, The Simpsons

Reading: Little Boxes by Cecilia Knapp, Personality Isn’t Permanent by Benjamin P. Harvey, Trauma and the Avoidant Client by Robert T. Muller

Podcasts: Therapists Uncensored, Where Should We Begin by Esther Perel, What Now? with Trevor Noah

Music: Pinhanı, Bright Eyes

Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!

So, aside from work work, essay and funding application writing and the usual university and placement days, I’ve had my mid-placement report and three-way meeting, so all seems to be going well! I’ve had a few lessons cancelled, which has enabled me to keep floating above water. At university we had a day that was focussed on “queering” art psychotherapy, but it was also the day we had a walk out for Palestine, so many of us joined the rally and made art on the side, personally reflecting on how I’ve noticed queer/LGBT+ identities have been weaponised in arguments on this topic.

I’ve also broken my resolutions on socialising as I didn’t have a great awareness of my existing commitments before making new ones! I saw Poppy with WARGASM on Tuesday night, which I was gifted, which was so much fun! It ended earlier than I would have liked, but I had a great time. I caught up with a friend who came along over Mexican food at Frida, and then I had further indulgence the next evening over East Street Pan-Asian food meeting up with an old UEA friend.

I’ve decided to continue going to the dance workshops for NHS workers, which is a little nerve-wracking but really rewarding. Today due to work cancellations, I managed to go back in the studio to paint my clay piece. I was there just under an hour and a half, preparing for a new gig booked for my birthday: Kate Nash… who, I found out at some point followed me on Twitter/X… which I officially do not use anymore. Anyway, being dyspraxic, I guess… I managed to start the session with cracking the piece whilst taking it out, so the little shelter broke. I just realised that it then made more sense that I did an overflowing well. I also ended the session dipping my hair in blue paint… so, I’m off to work now with paint still there, thinking that I really should wash my hair tonight!

This Sunday I’m running the Forest Hill Poetry Stanza Open Mic, now at Forest Hill Library every last Sunday 2-4pm. There’s about ten people on the open mic so far, so it should be good!

Watching: Life and Beth, The Simpsons, Da Vinci’s Demons

Reading: Little Boxes by Cecilia Knapp, The Revealing Image by Joy Schaverien, Sexy but Psycho by Dr. Jessica Taylor

Music: Poppy, WARGASM, Kate Nash

Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!