Tag: freelancer

Freelance Reflections #90

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Living amongst boxes and furniture everywhere is making things difficult at the moment. On paper, I thought I could cope, but in reality, passing the month-mark soon, it does put a strain on your mental health, not to mention struggling with issues to do with being neurodivergent, where it’s coming to light that I find certain social conventions difficult to understand, and particular situations overwhelming and anxiety-inducing. Still, we move. All I can do is try to offer what I feel I can to those in my life, and try to be more present, knowing that this too shall pass. I’ve been using films a lot to escape, using my Everyman membership, attending free film previews, and the CPIFF (Crystal Palace International Film Festival).

A fellow Art Therapist Trainee has organised the above exhibition, so I thought I would share the private view information. With a slight change of running, we will have Lateisha Davine Lovelace-Hanson and Marianella Lopez both sharing new work at She Grrrowls at Catford Mews on Thursday 16th March, plus the short film screening. Buy tickets to the Catford Mews She Grrrowls here. To sign up for the open mic (there’s just two spots left), email shegrrrowls@gmail.com with your name, pronouns, and short bio / sentence to introduce you with. In other news, I’ve been long/short listed for a couple of competitions, so I’m excited about the potential of that!

Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!

Freelance Reflections #89

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It’s been nearly a month since I’ve written a reflection, which indicates how busy it has been! However, it feels like I’m losing students I’ve only just gained, and I’m mindful of having to take on extra work to account for the unexpected loss of income. I didn’t get an interview for a casual role I thought I would get and I’m awaiting feedback. In other news, I have now had my training and I’m officially holding Lego Parties as part of the Dynamic Play team!

Last night was the first in-person meeting of the Poetry Society Forest Hill Stanza group. We had an open mic of around twelve poets, including both members and non-members. Taking place in the hidden gem of Mozart London, a cafe-bar in between Anerley and Crystal Palace, we had a full house! Hopefully we will be able to make a monthly event of it. Coming up next is the first She Grrrowls event at Catford Mews on Thursday 16th March at 8pm, and I’m pleased to be showcasing Lateisha Davine Lovelace-Hanson with film and poetry from Marianella Lopez and Mad Pirvan.

Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!

Freelance Reflections #88

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Last weekend I got to see the Tate Modern’s Yayoi Kusama exhibition. Although the exhibition itself was a smaller scale than I imagined, consisting of only two rooms, I was gifted the experience for Christmas and it was combined with a lunch. The food of her namesake was Japanese-inspired and it all felt so special. Amongst the chaos of everyday life, I felt I could be present.

With the news of the earthquake in Turkey and Syria, it’s been a personally challenging week, with my partner being Turkish. The destruction is unimaginable and the death toll is currently over 22,765 across both countries. It has been a massive shock to process, yet with gratitude that his immediate family were not more so impacted.

Our earth is only one polka dot among a million stars in the cosmos

Yayoi Kusama

Work this week has been disjointed; lots of cancellations for various reasons, tuition taking place in an exclusion centre rather than school, days moved, and I’ve been overwhelmed with the amount of students in need of alternative education placements.

After a young girl told me in an emotional and dramatic state that she would never draw flowers again, it seemed poignant that she incorporated them into her work as we made a colour-coded key to label different parts of speech in a sentence. Education is hugely important to me, but a lot of the time I feel more drawn to working with children in a therapeutic way, because otherwise there are so many barriers that many face in their learning.

In other news, I’ve got two events in March – the Forest Hill Poetry Stanza at Mozart London in Anerley on Friday 3rd March, and She Grrrrowls is back for International Women’s Day with a spoken word event at Catford Mews on Thursday 16th March. Watch this space for news on acts and tickets! The Stanza open mic is available to book for free on Eventbrite.

Lastly, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!

Freelance Reflections #87

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I’m writing this on a Sunday, which used to be a protected day, but I’m now starting to work. I’m working on at least having Tuesday and Sunday evenings free, and I have enough other self-care stuff in place that it should all be manageable. There’s flat changes going on that are being delayed, so everything is going to still be somewhat unsettled for the rest of this month.

I’ve signed up for more agencies, I’ve got a potential content writing job, and I’ve been accepted as an exam invigilator, whilst protecting my Friday yoga time. When the work starts coming in, it’s hard to protect these things, but it’s vital to prevent burnout. I don’t mind making sacrifices, and I’m no stranger to hard work, but studying at Goldsmiths, having my learning impacted by strikes (which, to be clear, I support), whilst the current warden splashes out £20,000 on Addison Lee expenses is infuriating.

Traditional Art

Speaking of my studies, I managed to heal some trauma this week. I had an upcoming debate and put everything I could into the preparation, not knowing if I would even be able to speak on the day. Sat there in a group five times the size of the one I had to be in at school (the source of the trauma), with an audience double that, I didn’t think I’d be able to speak. However, I not only managed to speak, but also made the concluding point to the debate, was able to embrace having no structure, and others commented about how I steered the debate!

Digital Art

Although I’m not actively writing my show on quietness and shyness, all these experiences are feeding into my vision for what this piece could be, and the understanding of myself and how these terms apply to me. My hope in any work I create is that others connect to what I’m saying, so as much as my recent experience may seem like I’m not quiet or shy, what really enables me as someone who does identify with these terms, to have a voice, is to feel held in the space that I’m in and the people I’m with.

So, know I’m working hard to survive and save £500 a month for my course fees. If able to, please donate to my crowd funder, or share, or buy my books. Every little you can do means a lot.

Freelance Reflections #86

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This week has been full on, with more work on, as well as preparing for debates at university. I’ve honestly put too much work into the debate preparation, and it’s been hard to focus my argument on one particular area. It’s all be really interesting though! But I still need to do the reading for the week ahead. I’ve planned loads of notes and quotes, created a PPT that can be viewed with a QR code, and made both physical and digital art.

I found out that I didn’t get the artist role at SPINE festival with Apples & Snakes. There really needs to be more transparency in the arts, which is why I will have no shame is sharing that I cried my eyes out for at least half an hour on reading the news. Yes, this was coloured by my financial situation, but I also felt embarrassed. It was the second time that I had interviewed for this position, and not only had I not been successful, I also felt really alone because I didn’t know who was in the same boat. After having done a workshop for Apples & Snakes, I went back to feeling like I don’t get picked. I consoled myself with my course, and the new direction I’m taking, but after swearing I wouldn’t do it again, I’ve signed up to do exam invigilation work, so when I could have been getting paid £200 a day in a April and May for something I love, I’ll now be getting barely over minimum wage for something that’s really mentally challenging (I try to think of it as meditation). And then it turns to self-blame, because who else is there to blame? My 5-minute workshop wasn’t as strong as others, and my answers weren’t good enough. It’s actually so demoralising. I know I’m capable of the work, but what now – try again next year?

In other news, I’ve also had two meetings about two different events in March. The first is the first Forest Hill Poetry Stanza at a cute cafe-bar ‘Mozart’ in Anerley on Friday 3rd March. The second is She Grrrowls, back for International Women’s Day on Thursday 16th March at the Catford Mews cinema. Aside from this, which is a fair bit of work for little to no pay, I’ve also got another minimum wage role for humble warrior drinks, offering product samples in store.

So, all this has been doing on whilst I’ve had my regular students, applying for more jobs, hosting the online Stanza group, and getting ready for my flatmate moving out! Thankfully I also had time for some exercise – Pilates, Yoga, Boxing and Zoca! I’m also trying to walk more again, but it’s not always possible, so I’ve only gone beyond 10,000 steps twice this week!

Once again, if you’re able to support me on my journey to becoming an Art Therapist, please consider buying my books or sharing stuff on social media, likewise with my crowdfunding campaign.

Freelance Reflections #85

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This week has been very up and down with work. I’ve still had cancellations, which has made me worry about payment. At times, I’ve also felt stressed, which has impacted on how productive I’ve been able to be, or how productive I’ve felt. It’s not been possible to make up any lost hours financially this week, and yet I also can’t schedule anything in the time I’m committing to the students I have. Given the change to PAYE with one of the agencies I work with, there also seems to have been complications with getting paid for the hours I’ve actually worked, and last night I found I was taxed around half of my earnings, so was straight on the phone to HMRC this morning, who picked up just as I finished my washing up, so at least I’m getting things sorted!

Looking forward to reviewing these from Whisky & Beards when things are more settled!

Last Saturday, I spent the morning lesson planning, and after a fun visit to Specsavers, I finished my course reading and a Safeguarding workbook (and 3.5 hours of safeguarding training the day before!) Sunday afternoon, after stocking up on some food, I went through emails and sorted out the work admin for some of the other new casual PAYE work I’m taking on. Art making was sadly left until the end, so it wasn’t until nearly midnight that I finished.

Appreciating a sunset with fellow Art Therapist Trainees

As well as tutoring and waiting for students who didn’t turn up, I was back at university this week. Of course, one particular day of cancellations, I thought I’d take a walk and call a friend, only to become overwhelmed later that day. I got prepared for an upcoming debate by researching materials, but still need to do the much-needed reading and note-taking! I also had a lot of meetings, following on from my dyspraxia diagnosis, where I’m hoping to qualify for some support! I also had two intense interviews! One for a tutoring agency and one for a poetry opportunity! Now I’m going to walk to Crystal Palace and make use of my free tickets with the cinema membership I got for Christmas!

Once again, if you’re able to support me on my journey to becoming an Art Therapist, please consider buying my books or sharing stuff on social media, likewise with my crowdfunding campaign.

Freelance Reflections #84

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Sure enough, the work is coming in, so I am trying to schedule it so I can also not burnout, creating balance whilst making some necessary sacrifices. This means I’m absolutely not doing any work on Tuesday evenings as I’m at uni on Mondays and Tuesdays, so I need this time to recover, have some down time with fellow students, and reflect. So my schedule of students is currently 2 hours on Mondays, 6 hours on Wednesdays, 2 hours on Thursdays (with 3 more pending) and 3 hours on Fridays. Plus some LEGO parties on weekends, and I’ve just signed up for a Living Wage events staff role!

Despite the positive turn of events, I’ve also have lost out on a big chunk of my income this week as one of a student I’m now seeing 6 hours a week has not been able to attend for the week, and unfortunately the agency won’t pay me anything for this time… which I could also do with using as preparation time as I will need to re-read the novel being studied (Purple Hibiscus, which I have read before at least!) I was able to make a little more money to compensate for this loss of income by doing some last-minute EFL cover!

Polka dots for poetry

I got to host an Apples & Snakes Work From Home workshop, and I had some positive feedback from people who attended (between 40-50 people joined I think!) and although I proved to be a little rebellious with my form samples, I absolutely loved it! Hopefully you can see I’m working hard (and also trying to rest hard… rather than party hard)! If you would like to help me on my journey to become an Art Therapist, please donate to my crowdfunding campaign, and/or buy some books, and/or share my links!

Freelance Reflections #82

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So, I’ve had four/five days off for Christmas. I developed a sore throat on Christmas Day, which was the best time to get it in terms of work, as aside from travelling to Kent and back, then around Nottingham and Barnsley before heading back to London yesterday afternoon, it meant I could rest and also binge The Traitors. I didn’t think a reality show would captivate me so much, but it was really psychologically interesting, especially in terms of group influence. I was back to official paid-for work today as I’ve had a student.

Sleigh the Patriarchy Christmas jumper, new Yaks gifted from family & Xmas tree

Aside from this, I’m looking forward to a New Year as I enjoy intention-setting and the freshness of the occasion gives permission to indulge in a celebratory Chinese takeaway before a future of experimenting with various spices on lentil, chickpea, pulses, and vegetable dishes for the foreseeable future. I have an abundance of washing products, a few experiences to entertain me, and a bit of cash to get some groceries to help me with my cabbage budget now I need to save over £500 a month.

Car drive in last year’s cosy scarf

Things aren’t desperate yet as I’m just hoping the work will show up this month to make this all doable for May and onwards. Meanwhile, please donate to and share my crowdfunding campaign and buy my books etc!

Freelance Reflections #80

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After an intense few weeks, things are slowly starting to wind down. The bad news is that I could really do with more work next week! Still, it will give me time to address certain things that have piled up, apply for new opportunities for next year, and even perhaps start a video tutorial series I’ve been putting off until I have the time.

The butterfly is still not quite complete.

On my MA in Creative Entrepreneurship we learn about having a champagne budget and a cabbage budget, so it seems like the next few years will be on a cabbage budget. It’s not so bad, I like cabbage. I make a mean bokkeumbap.

As long as I can keep a roof over my head, keep warm, and feed myself, then I’m quite happy to focus on training to be an Art Psychotherapist, and keep socialising to minimum, visiting friends and family in their homes and vice versa.

I’m due to pay my first set of fees, but need to raise double the amount by the end of January in order to catch up with the payments. I’ll need around £2000 more, then I’ll have 3-4 months to save for the final payment of this academic years Please donate to and share my crowdfunder to help me meet the next invoice date.

Freelance Reflections #77

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One of the catchphrases from my Art Therapy course is to “trust the process”. Whilst I often say such things tongue-in-check, there’s always some truth there too. I’ve accepted some EFL work which looks like it’ll be fun – apparently one of my students has pink hair and likes to wear pink (there I am in the meeting today, head-to-toe in pink!) So, now I’ve gone from being scared about not having enough work, to having too much work. I’m hopeful for another alternative education placement after the next three weeks, but I’ve also been offered an interview for EFL work for Lewisham Council.

I dedicated some time to art making the other day (see above) and I’ve still got some more works-in-progress, but it felt so good to do. It’s all very responsive to the present moment and things that have come up through the course, rather than the ideas I have for specific pieces connected to my poetry, but I trust that will come with time.

To help support me as an Art Therapist Trainee, please donate here.