Freelance Reflections #144

I had been getting way too used to not working as much, having been blessed to have two days of work for great pay, and then was blessed to be offered more TEFL work, although due to an email malfunction didn’t realise I was offered more work one week during an impromptu trip to Hastings to see my gran, who I’m thankful had survived a bad case of pneumonia. In any case, I’m was back at the language school on my return for four morning lessons, then had a private student in the afternoon.

birthday times

Prior to my trip to Hastings, I had a low-key weekend, including a birthday celebration with local poet Lateisha Davine Lovelace-Hanson, which was very wholesome, with lots of other creatives and community organisers present. Although I was a homebody, I also spent a lot of time engaged with news of the far right pogroms happening across the UK, and following the counter-protests. I’ve been concerned for my loved ones and although initially had hoped my gran would be up for the counter-protest, she became too fearful that she would not be strong enough physically should something bad happen, as well as protective of me, always seeming to be a child in the eyes of family elders.

Hastings Contemporary

I spent my time in Hastings working on creative admin – organising documents and notes, and adding to my spreadsheet of poems, consisting of reading and creation themes. Perhaps after completing at each year, I could form documents of themed poems to build towards more potential collections, though I have one or two already formed. I also managed to squeeze in a swim on arrival, an afternoon at the gallery on the coast to see the Elias Sime exhibition, and an incredible lunch at Porters before I left. As well as evenings playing board games with my gran.

August birthdays!

It was my partner’s birthday on my return, and we went to Lao Cafe before seeing Spirited Away at the theatre (and after going to another friend’s birthday rounders picnic!). In Japanese with English subtitles, it was unlike anything I’d seen before, and had such small details, though I wished we were in the stalls! I also surprised him on the actual day with a group experience of Viola’s Room. Although there was a bit of disruption, it was incredible – they do cheaper tickets on Sundays and so I’ve arranged for a few friends to go again in October! I was also fortunate to be able to have some swims in the lido and lake over this sunny period.

Viola’s Room

Next, I went off to Camp Bestival to do paid work, which involved checking wristbands, scanning tickets, putting in wristbands and generally directing people and answering questions. I had a lovely time and although I spent more on the day of travel for a peak ticket, I managed to get a refund for my original ticket, and should have a refund for the return journey due to delays. Of course, there’s travel expenses and some food expenses, but it’s nice to do a few festivals to break up the summer teaching work, though I’d only do paid in future I reckon! I got to enjoy a lot of the festival as my shifts were so good, enjoying much of the talk, comedy and music. I even did some art making, though found trying to learn how to crochet wasn’t the right time.

Since returning, I’ve eased into work a couple of tuition days and a couple of mornings at the language school. Next week I’ll have four full days at the language school again, which was unexpected, but will help out as I take some actual time off and build my tuition days from September.

Watching: Emily in Paris, The Simpsons, Arrested Development

Reading: Michael Rosen’s Getting Better and Malorie Blackman’s Just Sayin’ (audiobooks), Gboyega Odubanjo’s Adam, Kate Tempest’s On Connection, Philip G. Zimbardo’s Shyness, Abbi Mitchell’s The Year of the Butterfly, Marian Liebmann’s Art Therapy & Anger, and Marion Milner’s On Not Being Able to Paint

Podcasts: What Now? with Trevor Noah

Music: Jungle Cakes, Hak Baker, Coach Party, Snayx (Camp Bestival highlights), Say She She, McFly, Flowerovlove, Paloma Faith, Bandini, Faithless

Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!

Freelance Reflections #128

Last weekend, I had my gran visit. I noticed I found it hard to relax at times, but I managed to enjoy some downtime. We watched played Ticket to Ride Saturday evening, then went to the Horniman gardens and aquarium, local cafe Galão, and did some Lino cutting – I didn’t have the proper ink and roller, so the prints aren’t great. My gran tried to replicate a picture from the aquarium, and I did a uni homework task I had forgotten about, thinking about the Art Therapy Large Group.

On Monday, I was meant to go with my partner to get his koi fish tattoo, but we ended up being able to do the whole tattoo on Thursday (when I popped to the Goldsmiths library to exchange some books, making my pile even higher). I did lots of essay writing and reading. Tuesday I did admin and was really extra, going to the butcher for a special cut of meat for making the Cuban dish ropa vieja for my first Spanish speaking night for friends.

Ropa Vieja

On Wednesday I saw a friend and one of her babies, who I hadn’t seen since the pandemic! I walked to and from Beckenham Place Park and the rain held off, and otherwise did essay writing. I also bumped into a TEFL colleague, the school I work at being nearby. It was also the first Red Sky Session that evening, and I’ve been starting to catch up with the ones I missed in November (doing two in one day on Friday!)

I managed to finish work early yesterday, so I was able to have food with friends and then we went to Hijingo, which was fun. Next week I’ll be working more and back on placement! Ever since the clocks changed I’ve had trouble sleep in early, so that’s my goal for this week as I’ll need the energy!

Next Thursday is the next She Grrrowls! Catford Mews, 8:30pm! Only seven tickets have been sold so far, so having got some physical flyers delivered to the venue, hopefully more will be purchased! Buy tickets here!

Watching: The French Dispatch, Loudermilk, The Simpsons, Aşk 101

Reading: Playing and Reality by D.W. Winnicott, An Introduction to Object Relations by Lavinia Gómez, On Not Being Able to Paint by Marion Milner, On Learning from the Patient by Patrick Casement, Art Therapy for Psychosis, Bi-lines anthology and Islamic Mystical Poetry.

Podcasts: What Now? with Trevor Noah, Therapists Uncensored, Sleepy

Music: Beyoncé, Kate Nash, Cuban and Mexican playlists, Los Tigres Del Norte, Los Ángeles Azules

Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!

Freelance Reflections #107

Right now, I feel very overwhelmed. I’m only just keeping afloat due to work being cancelled and my flat is still not sorted, but it’s slowly getting there. I’m due to go away, but it’s hard when I’m not in the right headspace. I want to make time for friends and family, but all I really want to to build my routines.

At least seeing friends for birthdays!

I’m still trying to build my work up, but I’m also still wondering how I’ll manage everything, and having dipped into the money I’m saving for tuition fees, I’m also worried about how I’ll save the rest of the fees for the end of April 2024.

Meet some cool people at a Halloween Party 👻

Aside from the money and the flat issues, I’ve also got a hospital appointment on Saturday. I’ve been so focussed on everything else, I’ve not given it much thought, but I’m trying to hope for the best. I’m feeling quite overwhelmed by starting my placement, but I think a lot of it has to do with the mess in the flat. I feel so much better when everything is clean and tidy! I’m curious what it will be like once I’ve started the actual client work.

Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!

Freelance Reflections #96

Like it always seems, I’ve been thinking about balance and protecting time. Specially, protecting time for rest and creativity. When I create, I feel energised in a way that also comes from resting. I am reminding myself of the sacrifices I’m choosing to make, and the reason why I’m working so much is to pay for my studies. They have to be priorities. I want to maintain my relationships, but I also need to trust that my friends, family and partner will understand and support me in this time and know that I’m not going anywhere, and neither are they.

New reading group room has fancy chairs and everyone’s first reaction is to sit in on.

Working on Sundays, albeit for two hours, is not working for me. That time is going to be all the more necessary when I’m on my work placement, training on the job, as it were. This is time that from June I want to protect: to lay in with my partner, to move my body, to create, to read, and to connect with others even if that just means a phone call or local quick cuppa, because I’ll be getting ready for the week ahead, making lunches and having a relaxing bath. There may be exceptions, but they should be exceptions to this rule.

Morning sun.

Whenever I talk about how busy I am, I am annoyed, feeling complicit and perpetuating this capitalistic culture of busyness. I don’t want to compare between friends how busy we are. The people I admire are those who are resting more. #goals

I’ll be posting more about this on Instagram at some point.

So, what am I already doing to protect my time from work that I can emulate in other ways, on other days? I’m not working Tuesday afternoons, I’m debriefing with colleges and when I have to work, it’s an exception to the rule (for example, I’m actually going away over the bank holiday, but this means moving some work to the bank holiday this Monday and to the Tuesday evening). I’m protecting my Friday yoga class as the teacher is the best I’ve ever had, and despite being in a gym, it feels like a deep and somatic, spiritual experience. Even if I have to wear my gym clothes for the rest of the day.

Letting my friends know my social life will be sacrificed somewhat.

I’m also protecting Pilates on Thursdays, and Zoca dance on Saturday as much as possible. Plus boxing when I have the energy. Generally speaking, moving my body helps me in all other areas of my life, whether that’s walking more, going to the gym, or doing some other activity. Keeping to routines also helps me with increasing my sleep, which is also a major goal for me, the impact of which on other areas of life is underestimated.

From The Pattern App

Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!

Freelance Reflections #87

I’m writing this on a Sunday, which used to be a protected day, but I’m now starting to work. I’m working on at least having Tuesday and Sunday evenings free, and I have enough other self-care stuff in place that it should all be manageable. There’s flat changes going on that are being delayed, so everything is going to still be somewhat unsettled for the rest of this month.

I’ve signed up for more agencies, I’ve got a potential content writing job, and I’ve been accepted as an exam invigilator, whilst protecting my Friday yoga time. When the work starts coming in, it’s hard to protect these things, but it’s vital to prevent burnout. I don’t mind making sacrifices, and I’m no stranger to hard work, but studying at Goldsmiths, having my learning impacted by strikes (which, to be clear, I support), whilst the current warden splashes out £20,000 on Addison Lee expenses is infuriating.

Traditional Art

Speaking of my studies, I managed to heal some trauma this week. I had an upcoming debate and put everything I could into the preparation, not knowing if I would even be able to speak on the day. Sat there in a group five times the size of the one I had to be in at school (the source of the trauma), with an audience double that, I didn’t think I’d be able to speak. However, I not only managed to speak, but also made the concluding point to the debate, was able to embrace having no structure, and others commented about how I steered the debate!

Digital Art

Although I’m not actively writing my show on quietness and shyness, all these experiences are feeding into my vision for what this piece could be, and the understanding of myself and how these terms apply to me. My hope in any work I create is that others connect to what I’m saying, so as much as my recent experience may seem like I’m not quiet or shy, what really enables me as someone who does identify with these terms, to have a voice, is to feel held in the space that I’m in and the people I’m with.

So, know I’m working hard to survive and save £500 a month for my course fees. If able to, please donate to my crowd funder, or share, or buy my books. Every little you can do means a lot.

Freelance Reflections #80

After an intense few weeks, things are slowly starting to wind down. The bad news is that I could really do with more work next week! Still, it will give me time to address certain things that have piled up, apply for new opportunities for next year, and even perhaps start a video tutorial series I’ve been putting off until I have the time.

The butterfly is still not quite complete.

On my MA in Creative Entrepreneurship we learn about having a champagne budget and a cabbage budget, so it seems like the next few years will be on a cabbage budget. It’s not so bad, I like cabbage. I make a mean bokkeumbap.

As long as I can keep a roof over my head, keep warm, and feed myself, then I’m quite happy to focus on training to be an Art Psychotherapist, and keep socialising to minimum, visiting friends and family in their homes and vice versa.

I’m due to pay my first set of fees, but need to raise double the amount by the end of January in order to catch up with the payments. I’ll need around £2000 more, then I’ll have 3-4 months to save for the final payment of this academic years Please donate to and share my crowdfunder to help me meet the next invoice date.

Freelance Reflections #78

Due to my work, I haven’t been able to connect with my fellow Trainee Art Therapist colleagues outside the university times. However, last Friday a group of 10-20 of us went to see the Koestler Arts exhibition at the Southbank Centre. I couldn’t believe that it’s been running there for fifteen years and I had never been!

Curated by Ai Weiwei, the Koestler Awards is an annual programme encouraging people from the UK’s criminal justice system to change their lives through the arts. I’ve posted just a selection of the artwork here, as there were nearly 2000 pieces exhibited. You can find out more about Koestler Arts here.

The guides were also people who had been in prison or another kind of secure facility. You could also write to the artists, who would receive you comments. I picked the one with the Deliveroo takeaway. I went to Topolski for the first time, and they had enough space for twelve of us on a Friday night, which was great!

Otherwise, I’m in a period of intensity now, after having time socialising, I have been staying up reading until 1/2am some nights, working 10-12 hour days some days, doing additional EFL lessons at a school during the day and still doing evening tuition. In two weeks’ time, things will be less intense and I can gradually wind down for some holiday at the end of next month!

Freelance Reflections #65

It’s just over a week away until She Grrrowls: The Festival. The programme is incredible and I am so pleased about the artists involved. The day was listed in the Londonist as something to do to celebrate International Women’s Day. There is still a lot to do and lots of tickets to sell! If you’re reading this, please come along and buy your tickets as soon as possible! If you can’t come, word of mouth is so important, so please spread the word!

Carmina Masoliver Presents

She Grrrowls: The Festival

Saturday 5th March 2022

The Albany, Douglas Way, London SE8 4AG

All day: 10am – 11pm

A programme of performances, workshops and talks highlighting local artists as part of Lewisham’s Borough of Culture award in celebration of International Women’s Day. 

Through the theme of ‘joy and healing’, you can expect to take part in relaxing sound baths, energetic dance and performance classes, dynamic writing workshops and discussions, creative visual activities, and performances of dance, music and spoken word poetry.

Featuring:

C.O.T.U. and

Lateisha Davine Lovelace-Hanson

Zoca Fitness

Bam Bam Boogie’s Twerk After Work™

Laila Sumpton’s SHEroes of Lewisham

Belén L.Yáñez’s Nora’s Project

The Class Work Project

Grounded Movement

BORN::FREE

Variety D

Demi Anter

Laurie Ogden

Red Medusa

Jamie Hale

Annie Hayter

Antonia Jade King

Marianella López Marrero

Access: 

The venue is step-free. There will be BSL interpreters and audio description available. Captioned evening performances 7-11pm. For full details email: shegrrrowls@gmail.com

www.shegrrrowls.com

@shegrrrowls

Buy tickets from The Albany Box Office, online at http://www.thealbany.org.uk or call 020 7525 2931.

£17.50 for full day/ £12.50 concessions, individual events £7/5.

Logos:

She Grrrowls, Quiplash, ACE, CRIPtic, Lewisham Council: We Are Lewisham, Spread the Word, The Albany 

Event photography and film by Ibizo Lami.

Freelance Reflections #64

Okay, so I have had to put my music project to the side a fair bit, aside from organising my final podcast interview, in order to focus on She Grrrowls: The Festival. Tickets have been realised today, so please spread the word and buy tickets to come along if you can! You can buy a ‘membership’ which will enable you to select the events and activities from there, or alternatively, you can buy tickets for individual events.

With just over two week’s until the festival, it’s the last hurdle and I’m a bundle of nerves, soft and squishy and sensitive, but strong! There’s been some obstacles so far, and no doubt there’ll be more, but the show must go on!

05.02.20 – Tongue Punch

Tongue Punch, Tom Thumb Theatre, 2A Eastern Esplanade, CT9 2LB Cliftonville, Kent

81260494_10158430252832494_1217377101020135424_n.jpg