Last week I had my appointment with Universal Credit and I ended up crying again. The system is so broken. It felt more like an interrogation than support and is a humiliating process that I wouldn’t have put myself through had someone previously made it clearer that there wouldn’t be an expectation for me to find a full-time job whilst I am committed to the students I am tutoring and providing alternative education for, with a mixture of PAYE and self-employment that makes up my business as a whole. I put so much work into creating my evidence, I practically had to beg them to look at it, and not all of it was looked at. Still, it is now on my record that despite seeing a regular work coach again, if I earn a combined total of £892 or more then I won’t have to attend weekly appointments. I expect this will be the case, but with the upcoming break, it’s likely I’ll have to go through a period of attending weekly appointments.
My clinical placement is progressing, with plans in the pipeline to start with an open group and an individual in the new year. I haven’t had quite as much time for studying as I would have liked, having been roped into other tasks. However, I have finished a book and with a stack of texts still remaining from last year, I will need to prioritise and maybe even discard some that are no longer as relevant.
On the day where I would usually be at university, I finished off my Christmas ceramics and returned to the She Grrrowls Arts Council application for the fourth time. Inevitably, it’s taking longer than I expected and have been spending any time I can working on this. It would be amazing to finish it over the weekend, but it’s likely I’ll at least wait until nearer Christmas until I actually submit it. I don’t know what I’ll do if it is rejected again, but if feels like I get nearer each time and surely I shouldn’t have do it a fifth time to show my passion and dedication to the project, especially having to contend with losing my venue!
I am looking forward to finishing it so I can get really stuck into my uni work. It’s so interesting as I’m having dreams about the clinical work for the first time on this placement, which probably goes to show how much head space it’s taking up! Sorry to my friends and family as I don’t expect I’ll be seeing much of anyone until I finish – all being well – in June 2025! I have a few students still across Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, going right to 20th December, but I’m trying as much as possible to dedicate as much time as possible to studying!
Watching: Intelligence, Girls 5eva, The Simpsons
Reading: Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker (audiobook), A Matter of Security: The Application of Attachment Theory to Forensic Psychotherapy by Friedemann Pfäfflin, Fearless 2 by Francine Pascal
Podcasts: Psychiatry & Psychotherapy
Music: Black Union playlist (in preparation for NYE!)
Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!
Poet on page and stage. Creator of She Grrrowls. Facilitator. Writer. 