I’ve been spending every spare moment this week either applying for funding grants, attempting getting on top of emails, and going through my new to-do lists on Trello. It’s kind of like going back to my spreadsheet method but you can automate actions, for example, when you tick something off, you can automatically add it to a different list or archive it.
After just getting in surf things on Saturday, I had a lovely Sunday visiting a pop-up sauna in Beckenham and having a bite to eat after. My placement on Monday was cancelled, which was good in a way because I didn’t sleep well at all, having been woken up by noise and then had an argument. The next night, my sleep was also disturbed as I had been brewing Chaga on a low heat, forgotten to turn it off and thankfully was woken up by the smoke detectors, which had just been tested. Moments later, it could have caught alight, so the alarms are literally life-savers!
Part of my training to be an Art Psychotherapist is to think about how this disturbance then relates to my clients, or potential clients. It’s been an emotionally intense week, as I recently shared on Instagram how I was called shy in front of a group of strangers during Emergency Life Support Training by a man who then said, “I bet she talks more to people she knows”. It meant a lot to me that so many people responded with kind words, many of whom the experience resonated with.
As well as the few students I currently have, I also cried for the second time in public this week as I was very confused to hear that I’m not “gainfully” self-employed, thinking this meant that I wouldn’t be getting any Universal Credit. After sharing seven years of documentation of being self-employed, along with bank statements, it could have been better explained to me beforehand what the potential outcomes could be. Alas, my coach was able to reassure me and I managed to calm. I then had an interview for another tuition agency, and was successful again.
I’ve been reading more for my course and even managed a trip to Senate House to pick up a book that wasn’t otherwise accessible. Now in my final year, I’m finding it hard to know which books particularly to read. I know there’s going to be more than a lifetime of reading I’ll want to do. I have also been able to do more artmaking this week, so I hope to keep it up.
I did go to an event called Non-Monopoly this week and met some cool people, as well as bumping into someone I knew through poetry who is also in their final year training to be a therapist – wild! I’ve described myself as a “solo poly” in the past, but actually do lean more towards monogamy. I have since described myself as a “polysexual monoromantic bi woman”. I think it’s okay to not want to involve anymore cismen (one is handful enough), seeing as my friend ended up in a relationship with a woman eventually that way (slightly kidding as I think it’s okay regardless, but sometimes gets frowned upon). Even when I was identifying as a solo poly, I have to admit when I caught feelings, it was hard to keep up with my polycule. However, I think non-monogamy has a lot of useful reading and values that chime with me, that perhaps make me more “monogamish”. My view is that non-monogamous relationships shouldn’t be stigmatised, but they also shouldn’t be held up to be morally superior or more enlightened. Anyway, it was essentially a board game night where you could meet like-minded people. I’ve also just realised the name includes both the words “mono” or “poly”, so if “non” neither label is needed.
Watching: The Simpsons, Nobody Wants This, Girls 5ever, La Maquina
Reading: Suffering Insanity by R.D. Hinshelwood, The Complete Short Stories by Saki, Art Therapy for Psychosis by Katherine Killick
Music: The Last Dinner Party, Etta Marcus, Damsel Elysium, Lucia & The Best Boys
Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!
Poet on page and stage. Creator of She Grrrowls. Facilitator. Writer. 