Freelance Reflections #142

I am officially done. My intense period of work is over and I am feeling really run down now, with very low energy levels. I didn’t do too much last weekend and I’m off to the coast now, so hoping that will allow me time to recuperate. Aside from the journey, it should be a chilled time and will force me to relax rather than being home.

I had my usual language school work, but actual didn’t have afternoons. Though this meant less money, I was glad to have to do less. My weekend had been half taken up with work and chores, then I spent Sunday mostly reading On Learning from the Patient in the park. I also feel that I’m run down as I’ve not given myself the space to process my emotions, believing I experienced a kind of projective identification with a student, feeling like a failure and bursting into tears when they left the room. Perhaps intellectualising this, I suppressed the feeling part and as often is the case with me, my throat became sore. Then again, it was also the night I went to bed with wet hair, the temperature changed, and I didn’t wear enough to bed!

I’ve also had a few nightmare journeys and for the second time had anxiety about being observed, but then wasn’t observed (and not really sure why this time!) One morning in the week, school coaches blocked the road for over 20 minutes and I walked then got back on the same bus as there was no other way. Yesterday, the P4 broke down due to burst tyres and this happened on two different buses, so I had to walk the remainder of the journey.

We also broke a record at the language school by linking together around the school! Despite having less work hours, I also was busy getting ready for volunteering at Latitude Festival next week. I thought I may work, but will embrace my volunteer role instead and hopefully have some time to relax there as well despite starting with a crazy night shift 1am to 9am… and sleeping in a tent for the longest period of time in a long time! At least I’ll have a blow-up bed this time.

Watching: The Bear, Not Dead Yet, The Simpsons

Reading: Adam by Gboyega Odubanjo, Boy Friends by Michael Pedersen, On Learning from the Patient by Patrick Casement, In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust (previously read most books but listening on audio).

Podcasts: What Now? with Trevor Noah, Sleepy

Music: Pillow Queens, Tommy Genesis, Princess Nokia, Nerina Pallot, Myles Smith, Good Neighbours, mui zyu, Seasick Steve, Anthony Szmierek, The Jungle Giants, Holly Macve

Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!