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What’s Wrong with the Youth of Today?

Nothing. There’s no more “wrong” about the youth of today than anyone else. Although people can draw evidence from the likes of last summer’s riots, it depends what you pay attention to… and hey, guess what, there were older adults involved in the riots too. Just under half of rioters were aged 18-24 according to The Guardian, and although that age group (which I am within) is considered “youth” this is a key stage in everyone’s life where you after effectively a young adult. It’s just way too generalised to tarnish everyone with the same brush – which was shown by the aftermath of the riots. Now, moving on to more positive things… I’m going to be writing about the great talent and activity of the youth of today and why we, as society, should nurture and develop those under 25, in order for them/us to progress into successful adults.

Yesterday I was part of the International Youth Art’s Festival (IYAF) in Kingston. It was the opening night at the Rose Theatre. As I got there, it was like walking into a madhouse/maze and I didn’t know where I was meant to go and wasn’t given a wristband so was dashing about a bit before the start, but I trusted the staff would come to get me when I was needed and just relaxed to enjoy the first half.

I am part of this massive festival!!!

I was truly blown away at how talented everyone who performed was and felt so privileged to be a part of the opening night, and the festival as a whole. The stage opened to multi-coloured neon footsteps and hands dancing in pitch black. This was ‘The Celtic Colleens’ and instantly I knew I was in for an amazing night. Snow White gave a funny twist to the traditional tale, aimed at children from 5+ but fun for all. The Tiffinians were suited up and gave a range of songs, including a rendition of ‘Postman Pat’ – though my favourite was the first be-bop style song.

Forest Gate performed an extract from the play ‘No Exit’ and I’d say this was for an older audience as I had to engage my brain a bit for this one! ‘The Dreaming’ delivered Shakespeare with a really amusing and musical take on it. Definitely one to see the whole of, ‘The Big Wheel’ had a selection of people from the mass of 300 people doing drag runs and cartwheels in a circle – sure to be quite a sight, especially from an aerial view!

‘The Gods Are Not To Blame’ saw a group coming from all the way in Nigeria! I loved the drumming in this, as well as the amazing dancing and traditional costumes. ‘Robyn Mae & The Impressionists’ made a smashing closing of the first half. I was wowed by the front-woman’s (or front-girl?) confidence and her voice had a great quality. It was really powerful, but I especially liked the softer tones as the vocals were so silky-smooth at those points. She covered Jessie J’s ‘Price Tag’ and exceeded the original. The only critique I would have of it was that her voice sounded best when you could hear her good ol’ English accent and if she hadn’t done what Jessie does and use a faux-American accent for words such as ‘dance’ she would have stepped it an another notch. And secondly, it niggled me that she stated her cover of ‘Valerie’ was by Amy Winehouse, when it’s by The Zutons. However, her rapping along to JJ’s track and her incredible stage presence more than made up for that.

I was first up in the second half and I was so nervous I was shaking… and I’m not usually like that. However, I think I came across confidently and I was very pleased with my performance – hopefully Tuesday at The Cricketers will go just as well x6. The Kingston Youth Big Band were next and I caught a bit of it and it made me very jealous that I can’t play an instrument but sounded fantastic that these young people have had the opportunity to learn how to play and then dedicate such time and effort to it.

‘Little Cauliflower’ gave a great show which took me back to my days of the Little Angel Puppet Theatre I went to a lot when I was younger. IYAF has also put an album together by lots of talented young people, and one of them was featured at this night. I can’t remember the name of the guy, but he was just 19 and beat-boxed so well he rivaled Intensi-T. He was so confident and his performance was so skilled, entertaining and witty.

‘Eddance’, I believe, did a really intriguing dance routine that seemed to merge genres. I loved the expression and the narrative style to the dances. Jaz Delorean then took to the piano and amazed me. He brought so much emotional intensity that I laughed, I cried and quite frankly, went a bit crazy. Lastly, there was ‘Circus Suburbia’ which was an incredible mix of puppetry, dance and acrobatics, and just magical.

To see any of these acts, just go to the IYAF website and check out the programme. Afterwards I got a couple of compliments but wanted to get home so gave a few flyers out before leaving the rest with the Rose Theatre. I even got a husband and wife who weren’t into poetry saying they enjoyed my set, commenting on the performance piece ‘Cinderella’ which I noticed I got a few laughs from in the audience, yay!

This post is getting rather long and I’m tired and have work tomorrow, so… moving on! Shake the Dust Final!!! Another incredible day with so much talent.

So, Jacab Sam-La Rose did a fantastic job as host and the Peer Mentors (including Catherine Woodward who’s featuring at my event on August 22nd) gave a great opening to the show. I’m just going to summarise because my head was filled to the brim with poetry. The only photo I took was of the opening slammers, representing Yorkshire. I guess you could say, I knew they were the winners! Everyone was amazing but I totally agreed with the judges decisions for the awards. London got the best performances and Sheringham got best line (brap brap for the East).

Speech DeBelle gave a great performance, and I really enjoyed the combination of music with her rapping. She actually went to Harris Academy, a school where my Dad used to teach. I’ve been reading a lot of poetry as inspiration but it made me want to listen more too.

xxx

News

Towards the end of May I did a spoken word set at headCRASH Cabaret and tried out some new material. Some of this is currently being edited and any feedback would be greatly appreciated as I am working towards a first collection.

In other news, there’s going to be a change of features for my event Carmina’s Poetry Tease as sadly Hannah Jane Walker has been forced to pull out. I’m currently emailing madly to try to find a suitable replacement. There’s so many people I would love to perform at the event but I’m also wanting to keep in mind the kind of event this is and the ethos of it. I’ve emailed a couple of people that are so famous it’s unlikely I’ll get them but it’s worth a shot. There are so many amazing poets but I don’t want to barrage everyone with messages just yet so I am nervously awaiting a handful of responses to see if anyone is able to do it yet! I really want to sort it out – ideally before Latitude as it would be a great time to try to talk to people about it, and potentially discuss it further with the poet that accepts the offer!

If any poets out there think they may be able to step in and think they are aligned with the ethos of the event, I’m looking for… ideally female poets, poets that bridge the gap between the page and the stage, poets that exist as established names in the scene, poets willing to share old material with some newer poems, and poets that value the arts. Just contact me via email at carminamasoliver@hotmail.com.

On Tuesday 10th July (this coming Tuesday!) I will be headlining at Words, Words, Words as part of Kingston’s International Youth Arts Festival. I still have some free guest-list tickets if anyone would like to contact me about them. Otherwise, it’s only £5 and there’s an array of talented people joining the line-up – all under 25 years of age!

xxx

Poetry Parnassus

On Tuesday 26th June I attended the first day of Poetry Parnassus. Having felt quite confident and happy about going on my way, once I got there I did feel quite overwhelmed. Simon Armitage – one of my first encounters into contemporary poetry at GCSE’s – was standing just a few metres away. There were poets from all over the world; the idea curated by Armitage saw poets flocking from all of the countries competing in the Olympics. This day was the World Poetry Summit. Poets, publishers and other important figures in the world of poetry gathered and I felt a little like I was watching from the margins. I was disappointed only in myself for not taking the opportunity to seek out like-minded people, but still, I did absorb my surroundings and scribbled away at my notepad.

Reflecting on my notes now, I shall summerise some of my thoughts in relation to the day as a whole. My notes are 2,317 words, so I hope to make this much shorter! The first point is one which has people divided. Jude Kelly, the Artistic Director of the Southbank Centre, made a comment about how it is a positive thing that poetry remains uninfluenced by money. She expressed the view that we shouldn’t want to professionalize the arts. Those with more romantic or anarchistic views may agree. However, I think that you have to bear in mind that we live in a Capitalist country and therefore the rules apply that we need money to survive. It would be idealistic to think that we do not. This very statement is contradicted by the fact that the poets and other speakers at this conference are professionals. They have a right to earn money from dedicating their life to poetry.

Though it is just another fact that they must do other things alongside the actual writing of poetry, their work doing these other things (teaching, editing, speaking at events etc.) is informed by this dedication to one field of practice. I agree that accessibility is important, however, it is worth noting I had to pay the full price of £35 for the summit, as apparently I had missed the “limited concessions” price – something which I don’t quite understand as I’m pretty sure I was one of the youngest people there. However, this kind of balanced out when you take into account all the free events I went to today. It is important because I almost didn’t get a ticket because I had to pay full price. I also almost didn’t come to the free events because of travel and my MA work commitments, but I thought this was too significant an opportunity to miss.

I went to half of the talk about poetry and money, and half of the Tradition vs. Innovation talk. The fact that there was a debate about money suggests that the above statement from Jude is not quite a given; she states in this discussion that it is ‘the elephant in the room.’ What is clear is that to be a poet, you must take on other work and Ollie Dawson, the Director of the Poetry School, found that younger poets are more willing in this area. Representing Kenya, poet Shailja Patel spoke out from the audience and told us that in the USA, there is a National Writers’ Union. It helps with issues of copyright, healthcare and so on and seems like a fantastic idea.

Tradition vs. Innovation was good to listen to as I had just been reading Adventures in Form, which is the most interesting book I’ve read since Dorothy Parker’s collected works and has me itching to write more poems. Tom Chivers from Penned in the Margins was involved in the discussion and made the point that they are not actually opposites as they feed into one another and that there is a “spark” when such concepts meet. Hence why this new book from Penned in the Margins is so exciting.

In a discussion about literature in the digital age, Nikola Madzirov spoke about horizontal and vertical dialogues. Thinking the web is more of a… web, so more sporadic than those ideas present, I got a bit confused here. Can anyone shed light on the meaning of this? I thought the work that was being produced could be in danger of being a bit gimmicky, but that the thought of having poets from around the world performing digitally at StAnza also seemed like a unique kind of festival, opening us up to people we may not normally come across, other than on rare occasions such as Poetry Parnassus!

In a conversation about poets finding their way in the 21st Century, Kayo Chingonyi proved to be one of my favourite speakers. He had a clarity, knowledge and passion that was articulated exceptionally well. Though it has to be said that Dean Atta made a delightful statement about wanting to be made into a hologram which made us all smile and chuckle a bit. I also felt I connected to some of what Raymond Antrobus said about there being a difference in writing to yourself and from yourself. My poem, Drama, actually comments upon this dilemma that I have faced as my urge to write in the past has come from a cathartic impulse that seemed only natural to me, whilst I have been over the last few years to perfect it as a craft.

After the provided packed lunch listening to poetry from around the world upstairs, I went to the Poetry & Elitism discussion. Bas Kwakman begins with the statement that ‘political poetry is always bad poetry. Good poetry is always political.’ And so ensues a discussion that (like the Tradition vs. Innovation talk) deals with binary oppositions. In my dissertation for my BA I examined Sarah Kane’s 4.48 Psychosis and my distaste for binary oppositions began there. As Taja Kramberger asserted; it is a ‘false dilemma.’ The whole point of elitism is that there isn’t access for the so-called populist, and then the populist itself becomes a different kind of elite, creating yet another hierarchy.

Another one of my favourite speakers, mentioned earlier, Shailja Patel spoke about the fact that there is a common misconception that equates elitism with difficulty, and populist with the political. This was in response to a elite-defender, who, like Bas, seemed to assume that some sort of elite was needed to ensure quality. Oh, the commoners can have their populist/political shit and we can just carry on here with our poetry of superior quality. No. Patel made her points extremely well in the debate, but also actually recited a poem ‘For the Verbal Masturbaters.’ She told us that she never takes free speech for granted as she did not have the privledge growing up. So much of this discussion relies on privilege and, in my view, anyone that defends elitism is a privilege-denier, or just needs to think a bit more.

To end this section, a quote from Taja Kramberger – ‘Poetry: you are not made from words alone.’

 

 

 

 

 

That evening I met up with my old housemate, Kirstie, and we caught poetry that fell down from the sky with the Rain of Poems. It took some time before I got a couple of poems, pictured below. People went crazy and almost physically fought over it, with some people greedily giggling at their hand-fulls. I’ve never seen people so excited about poetry, I thought. Slightly cynical about it, I thought that a lot of people would not treasure the poems as they should. Still, it was very surreal and pretty as they fell and glittered down to us.

Today, Saturday 30th June, I went back to go to more free events. I thought I also may get the opportunity to speak to some others there but didn’t see anyone I knew and didn’t feel I could randomly strike up a conversation with someone else. I first went to WOW (Women Of the World) Breakfast. This was one of my favourite events, and it was FREE! I forgot my notebook today so made just a few pointers in my (non-smart) phone. The discussion about writing from the mind/body brought me back to the idea of binary oppositions and those false dilemmas again. Sadly, I can’t remember the names of anyone to write who said what, but it was disheartening to hear that one visiting poet from Africa has said she was ignored even at Poetry Parnassus. Upon her own success, she was called up and told ‘African women don’t write poetry, it’s for African men.’ There was a man that enthused about the amount of young women with desire to write, as a cry for some positivity. A young woman also made some comments about not feeling ‘hard done by’ and again at the end that she was ‘not fight, just enjoying every word.’ However, I think that by doing just that and nothing else, you are ignoring and placating the wider issues that are a reality that women are faced with all over the world.

I plucked up the courage to ask a question, which thankfully they squeezed in for me. I wanted to know, as a student, since the majority of people who study Literature and take writing courses are women, does this filter out? If so, why… and, do they have a chance at a  level playing field or are they at a disadvantage when it comes to publishing? Picking up on something they said earlier about a need for more female editors, judges and critics, I questioned whether a way forward may be for bloggers to review female books. Some interesting thoughts came out of this, but it still remains to be answered in the future. I got home and found a Facebook comment thread about female writers not submitting enough.

So, part of this may be to do with confidence, and a willingness to take risks and perhaps not possessing enough of the characteristics of being a creative entrepreneur! The career progression from university also needs to be more informative, useful and supportive. Although there are issues with blogging, in that they’re unpaid, I had recently thought that I would LOVE to receive free books if I could review them on my blog. I believe I have a fair amount of readers but it would also be something I could build upon. I have had some experience writing reviews but I would love to do more. Whilst I am still at the beginning of my career I wouldn’t mind sparing some time to read and write about what I love! I may take more of a Dorothy-Parker-esque way of writing about the events, exhibitions and books I experience, but at least I’m honest!

After a small break reading The Ode Less Travelled by Stephen Fry, I went to the Clore Ballroom for some Salt readings. It was good to see Chris McCabe as Tom Chivers had told me about him when I did my internship at Penned in the Margins and I had read some of his work in the latest book I mentioned earlier. He read poems about a meat-book, explaining a Van Gogh painting to his son, and existential clubbing. Kayo Chingonyi has to be mentioned again because he was one of my favourite poets of this day as well! He read poems about how to create a mixtape on the out-dated cassette tape, as well as taking us through the rhythm of his dance. He also seems like a really nice, genuine guy, which always makes me like the poets even more.

Sadly, Death Poetry was full, so I found life outside and read a bit more before going back to the Level 5 Function Room for ‘They Won’t Take Me Alive – Women and Revolution.’ Namechecks to Alaide Foppa, read by Amanda Hopkinson, Gioconda Belli, Chiranan Pitpreecha and Farah Didi. Bidisha also did an amazing job as chair for this and the earlier WOW talk. I was so glad I stayed for it because I learnt a lot and it was wonderful to be able to hear their poetry. They spoke of the ideas of poetry and activism, comparisons to fruit and flowers and images of beauty, and showing the world what injustice there is and moving on to other subjects, how this political voice is at the core of you. I made out about 5 words of Gioconda Belli’s Spanish recital of ‘The Dream Bearers’ which makes me morn for the lost language of my hispanic roots. Still, I have uploaded some free Spanish tutorials on my iPod now.

Wow! So, over 2000 words means I better stop! Full from tapas, and looking forward to Sunday-Tuesday as I celebrate a year of being with my boyfriend 🙂

xxx

Grayson Perry is a Classy Laddy

Channel 4 is doing these documentaries about taste, presented by Grayson Perry called ‘In the Best Possible Taste’. The first have been about the working class and the middle class. I acknowledge I am middle class, people call me middle class and I don’t have much opinion on it because I don’t really care what class a person is (but I suppose that’s a middle class thing?) I have been annoyed at certain assumptions that have been made about me by dear friends simply because they see me as middle class, because, for me, I don’t like reinforcing divides in that way and being told that because of my class that I am a certain way or my life has been a certain way etc.

My Mum is working class, my Dad is middle class, and I’m somewhere in between – but leaning more towards middle class (especially as through the years my house has got bigger as we’ve moved as a family, and I’ve been to university). Perry himself states education is the pathway to upward mobility.

He revealed that two thirds of us are now say we’re middle class, as opposed to 25 years ago when two thirds identified themselves as working class. In terms of working class tastes… I have so many ornaments and emblems of memories that I have to put some in boxes now, much to my dismay. Another aspect would be the idea of dressing up, being “glamourous” and wearing bright colours… but I have a feeling this is where I start to go into the middle class zone.

One of the main things that I got from the working class part was that the taste you had was to show you were part of a group. Maybe it is a middle class notion, but I would have thought it was more of a Western concept, that I value independence. I like to think for myself, and I like it when others can do the same. Nothing makes me cringe more than people who follow and copy each other and can’t stand to be separated. However, I think this says that we are far more complicated than our class. Although I value independence, I   am increasingly seeing the importance of interdependence and have written a piece about that here from Zukuri UnLtd.

Now, on to the middle class part of the series. I like cakes. I HATE Range Rovers. Generally, I’m not a fan of brands. If I like a brand, I’m very selective… Adidas, Cath Kidson and Chanel (the latter of which I can’t afford). Without realising it, that selection says a lot about me and my class. As does the tagine on the table in the documentary. I would probably have one for my kitchen when I’m older.

On the programme they say that the middle class originates from merchants, being self-made – and that kind of goes with the idea of being an entrepreneur. It’s the ‘class that doesn’t know it’s place… they’ve struggled and got where they are’ etc. Within the middle class there are different types it seems. I wonder what type I am. The idea of ‘vintage’ obviously appeals to me. Though people mock and resist the idea, and try to cling on to working class roots, me and a fair few of my friends would fit in with the indie/hipster/scene/vintage/retro labels. ‘Bestowing our individuality’. This song by Say Anything shows the contradiction here perfectly.

Perhaps I am neither class, because I am “a creative”. One woman that features in the middle class part of the series states that Perry still has the ‘unkempt hair of a creative’ which is very much like myself. No matter how doll-like my face is made-up to be, my hair will not be tamed. Or, maybe my desire to be an individual, as opposed to part of a group, just highlights how middle class I am. As Perry says, the middle class are the class most aware of their choices and that is both a blessing and a curse. Though I don’t identify with the upper middle class, I feel like I don’t fit with the lower middle class… so am I the middle middle class? Or do I not fit anywhere until I am an adult existing on my own, without the comfort of my parental home? And, then, what makes one middle class – education, speech, manner, money, taste, or what?

middle class taste: cupcake ornaments, Soap & Glory, faux-Retro signage, Adidas, Converse, vintage clothes, hats and festival wristbands…all on a bed (literally) of Cath Kidson duvet. And a mask.

I didn’t feel I had much to say about upper class taste. The idea of being “appropriate” and putting on a “uniform” could not be more opposed to me. However, the more quirky people and those that defied their ancestors were more my cup of tea. That kind of bohemian spirit that my Dad says I have, like my Gran. And the way I believe that Converse should always be worn dirty. However, these people seem to have more in common with the middle class, with a desire to be individual, rather than just one in a pack.

Well, interesting stuff. Perhaps I should end with something more poetry-related. Don’t worry, my next post is due to be all about poetry. Though I hope to get back to this and view the tapestries he’s made one day. Anyway, here’s a poem to end it on, which I actually wrote before this programme but it kind of deals with similar themes.

ʔ

You’ll analyse my glottal stop,
my gloʔal stop, my glottal
stop. You’ll analyse my punctuation,
vocab and my polka-dots.

You’ll look at my lips,
look at my eyes, the mic
stand between
my two thighs.

You’ll see the content,
and the form, as I
read to you, as I perform.

You’ll look inside
each word I say, see how
the d and o do play.

You’ll hear each letter,
each diction choice, each y-o-u
inside my voice.

You’ll analyse my glottal stop,
my gloʔal stop, my glottal
stop. You’ll analyse my punctuation,
vocab and my polka-dots.

xxx

WANTED: POETS, EDITORS & GENERAL PUBLIC

I’m starting to put together my first full poetry collection. I’m going to be writing some new material within the next couple of weeks to go with what I’ve already got. I want as many people as possible to read it and give me feedback. So please comment here with your email address or any means of contact, if you’re up for helping me out. You’ll be getting a free sample of my first draft, if that’s enough to tempt you?

In other news, I’ve now confirmed two amazing acts for my first independent event and am ordering flyers now. I’m starting to produce lots of exciting things for it, so watch this space! Here are the details…

Also, you can get 13% off my self-published books until this Friday 15th! Go here to check my page out.

xxx

Reasons to Live in Norwich

1.
My boyfriend, obviously.

2.
I did a gig at The Birdcage. I tried to do my set off by heart. I’d practiced intermittently the last couple of weeks. I stumbled a few times but I did not reach for my paper (not concealed in my boots this time, I admitted that it was the poems that were peaking out of my cardigan pocket). Host, Andy Bennett, compared me to Dockers MC which was cool. It’s actually the second time that’s happened, so I’m thinking of starting to market myself as “a posh Laura Dockrill” or “a shy Laura Dockrill”.

Ben Smith eased us into the night with laughs that played on prediction and expectations, leaving me to be the filling in a comedy sandwich. It was a fine evening of entertainment, including comedian Alex Holland who I could really relate to with his tales of walking through groups of teenagers in fear. I was excited to see Lewis Buxton who I’d heard was similar to Luke Wright and I could see why people would say that; with his confident manner, his way of delivery and use of narrative and skillful use of rhythm and rhyme.

Adam Warne wove between poetry and comedy and appeared very naturally, taking away the microphone and telling us of Facebook anecdotes in between sonnets. John Osborne read us some lovely new poems about seaside towns and afterwards I got a nice message of compliments about my set which made me very happy. To round off night night, Cielo performed with a female violinist to add to the mix. It was a great set and my boyfriend loved it to so I’m glad he saw them, especially as they have some motivational songs, which he’s always on the look out for!

3.
Ross Sutherland – Comedian Dies in the Middle of Joke

4.
Molly Naylor and The Middle Ones

5.
John Cooper Clarke

6.
Latitude Poetry Club

7.
Again, nights at The Birdcage. Clunge Collective the other night, and headCRASH – where my next gig will be on June 20th.

xxx

Shake the Dust: East Regional Finals

Friday saw the East Regional Finals for Shake the Dust. I was working with the Netherhall School in Cambridge as a Poet Shadow with Ross Sutherland. I had never done anything like this before so was quite nervous but very excited too! For my first workshop, it was going well as I was over an hour early. However, I got the bus from the wrong stop and ended up being 10 or 15 minutes late. Typical.

As soon as I entered the classroom I had to introduce myself and perform a poem. I hadn’t brought any material, but thankfully my memory didn’t fail me and I did Cinderella (which you can preview here from my book/eBook). It feels like a long time ago now but at the same time it went so quickly. It was great hearing the poetry the students generated and as the first workshop was based around autobiography it was nice to feel like I was getting to know what they were like already.

Although it doesn’t feel like that long ago that I was their age, I am nearly 10 years older than them! At the same time, I did feel a lot older than them, especially when I encountered some rudeness from a couple of girls from the non-competing team. All a learning experience anyway! I also didn’t expect how easily distracted they were, especially as the two hour sessions went so fast. That said, they produced their final poems with great timing.

After celebrating turning 23 I was back at the school and the students had mostly memorised their poems, and by the final session were all performing their pieces really well. Ross and I had swapped the groups we’d been working with and so it was amazing to see the transformation of them both from the mish-mashed bits of texts they had started out with when they were forming the poems. I learnt so much from shadowing Ross, and was also given lots of opportunities to share my ideas and work independently with some of the group. One girl had to join the group for the last session and she picked up the poems fantastically, and ended up being given the “Most Changed” award.

The day of the final was a long one, but an amazing experience. the excitement started at 10.30am when we picked up our t-shirts. The schools started to arrive and it wasn’t long before we headed into a studio for the first workshop with half of the students. The workshop I was in was lead by Tim Clare and consisted of different drama games. It was quite nerve wracking due to the fact that being in a position of authority it was vital I showed that I was experienced and confident through the games. It was really fun and useful in terms of my own pre-performance preparations.

At lunch time I lost Ross and didn’t realise I was to stick with the school, who had already headed off to Chapelfield Gardens with their lunch. I managed to find them but Ross wasn’t with them. Still, I sat down and began to eat. However, mid-meal, there was a big ‘SPLAT!’ sound and we all wondered what it was. I looked down at my leg and I had been POOED ON BY A PIGEON! They all freaked out and one girl was sent into a panic that it had landed on her. No. It had landed on me. Yuck. I sat there in shock for a while, then scraped it off with a twig. Still in shock, I stood there whilst the others moved themselves further from the tree. Luckily, it didn’t land in my hair or anywhere else so I just went back to The Garage to take off my tights and wash my hands. Then it was onwards and upwards as I tried to tell myself that it was good luck…

We did the same workshop again but with different people and it was good feeling more prepared about what was to come and hearing what different people came up with on the spot. I spent our dinner time mostly with Catherine Woodward, who I knew from university, who had taken my place as Peer Mentor and was doing a great job. I’d met quite a few great people that day, including Lara who was from the Writers Centre Norwich, and sounded like she had a most enviable job! We had a quick warm-up with Drew Taylor and then took our seats.

The show itself ended up being fantastic. All the pre-show nerves were turned into adrenaline and everyone gave amazing performances. Although The Garage team were not included in the competition, their pieces throughout were inspiring and moving. As were Drew and Tom’s joint piece about the friendship they formed through the project. My team ‘Can Everyone Get Up And Leave?’ did a great job. Though one of the guys berated himself for forgetting a line, he pulled it off so smoothly that nobody else in the audience would have noticed. They went away with the ‘Best Line in Poem’ though the judges (Luke Wright, Charlotte Higgins and Francesca Beard) asserted there were so many great lines they couldn’t really pick just one! We also got inside info from Luke that he was rooting for us to win the competition overall, but didn’t quite make it to first place.

The National Shake the Dust Slam Final is held at Southbank between July 5-7th.

The Party’s Over

Hannah and I at Mystery Jets
Scroobius Pip at Dragon Hall
Birthday bowling 🙂
cards and pressies
Singing and miming along to I’m Just a Girl by No Doubt. I’ve had it up to here [with the patriarchy] ladies.
“You are not the victim of your life, you are the creator of your life” – wise words on the cubicle door at The Mill
fajitas and bean chilli
family reunion (dad’s side)


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A picture paints 1000 words today. For my birthday weekend I had a family BBQ, followed by friends and fajitas. We went to Bacchus in Kingston after a few drinks at The Mill. Matt and I got home around 3.30am. I went hungover for an eye appointment and was rewarded with a roast dinner. On my actual birthday I opened present and cards, and the sunshine stopped so Matt and I went bowling. We won one game each and played arcade games, pool and ate candyfloss.

He went back to Norwich for his job seekers appointment (but he has a job[s] now – yay!) I had a Chinese take-away with my parents and watched Towie, 56 Up and Desperate Housewives. I joined Matt in Norwich the next day.

We forego-ed a party sadly, but watched Eagle Vs. Shark. We saw Scroobius Pip at the Dragon Hall in Norwich, with great support including one of my favourite poets, Russell J Turner. I was working for Shake the Dust in Cambridge on Thursday and Friday. After the second workshop I dashed off, Cornish pasty in hand, to see the Mystery Jets in Brixton, with support from Theme Park and Slow Club.

Saturday night I went to my friend’s house, got more pressies and watched Two Lovers, stayed up until 3am and then was back at Sainsbury’s on Sunday, where I sprained my wrist.

xxx

May the Birthweek Commence

Yesterday I handed in my latest four pieces of coursework, including my interview piece with Benjamin Zephaniah. I met with my Gran at the Tate Modern, where we started our day with the Yayoi Kusama exhibition.



I first came across Kusama whilst studying my art foundation at Central Saint Martins and I became fascinated by her use of polka-dots and her use bright colours, and her poetry. I bought a book of hers which I sadly lost in a photocopier (or so I suspect). I did write down this quote:

“A polka-dot has the form of the sun, which is a symbol of the energy of the whole world and our living life, and also the form of the moon, which is calm Round, soft, colourful, senseless and unknowing. Polka-dots can’t stay alone; like the communicative life of people, two or three polka-dots become a movement.”

I was also inspired by use of cherry blossom depicted in the poem below, which I used in my paintings in order to symbolise the conflict between childhood and adulthood.

I want to eat cherry blossoms.
I want to kiss their pink colors.
Their scent that would have reached the universe dissipated in my youth.
Remembering that, now tears roll down my eyes.
Scattering cherry blossom petals on the path of my faint love, I will be facing death someday.
When that day arrives, all the love that I have had in my past, I will enwrap life.
On that moment, the flower path of cherry blossoms will envelop the whole of me without fail.
Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms.
They explore my life and death.
Dear Cherry blossoms, I thank you


I first saw her exhibition at White Cube, and so this exhibition was interesting in terms of exploring the variety of her work, of which I loved every bit.

We went for a quick meal at Mon Plaisir which was nice. The main meal was quite small, but the desert was lovely – a rich chocolate mouse with a passion-fruit ice cream. Then, it was time for my birthday treat – Matilda the Musical! I thought it was good that it was faithful to the story-line but also was not restricted by it, making adaptions, and infusing more magical threads to the narrative. It did feel really magical and I loved the songs, as well as some of the messages they conveyed about being the writer of the story of your life, and although the main star, Matilda, is generally a good girl, that ‘sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty’ when you feel like something is not right to you.

In other news, I’ve had a couple of rejections – the Charles Pick Fellowship and my first application for Arts Council funding. I was disappointed that I’d had to email to ask about the Fellowship and that I would have not been contacted otherwise. I’d had a nightmare about not being accepted for it so it was really gutting that I’d not even made the short-list. Next year I think I’ll reapply with my novel idea, as maybe proposing to write a series of children’s short stories was not good enough, especially as a faculty member at UEA had told of the polarised views of children’s literature by the other staff.

I didn’t expect to be successful for my first arts council application. As I have the money to put my event on from being a Poet Shadow in Shake the Dust, I don’t have to worry about actually not being able to afford it. Though, making a profit will be unlikely. And although you can’t make a profit with Arts Council funding, it does mean the money isn’t coming out of your own pocket, resulting in a loss. Anyway, I emailed for further feedback and got a great response and so have lots to learn for any future applications. Particularly the idea of whether I actually do want to do any more events – do I want to be a writer or a producer? I’d say 100% a writer, first and foremost, but that I would like involvements in events and sometimes enjoy putting on my own events. Also, this pilot project is more about just putting myself out there and learning from the experience, so we’ll have to wait and see!

xxx

Welcome Home

Today is going to be the end of a very social and productive week, before the start of a very busy week to follow (which will also include a bit of socialising). I’m going to my friend Jo’s house for her housemate’s birthday, and I’ve also managed to see my friend Natalie who’s moved to Coventry and Hannah who’s about to move to York! What I wanted to write about is Tuesday. I viewed a gallery space called The Showcase, which is part of Craft Central, as this is where I will be holding an event later this year, on 22nd August. Afterwards I went with Siobhan Belingy to see Gillian Wearing’s exhibition at Whitechapel Gallery.

I’m really glad that we went as it was so interesting. We started catching up with each other but the exhibition was so engrossing and all-consuming. We both have had the experience that the stories expressed through Wearing’s work was so strong that we couldn’t get them out of our head.

As a writer, I found it inspiring in terms of presenting a narrative and the ideas explored between fiction and reality. This was extended further to the concept of public verses private personas.

Wearing’s most well known work is probably Signs that say what you want them to say, and not Signs that say what someone else wants you to say (1997)shown above. As I didn’t know that much else of her work, it was interesting to see everything else – each piece of work stood out and made an imprint on my mind.

In 10–16 (1997) adults lip-sync to the voice-overs of children expressing their fears and insecurities. This results in a disturbing yet sometimes comic effect (I witnessed one woman have to escape the room in a fit of laughter) which shows the strange way emotions can sometimes work in response to tragic events. Her videos depicting familial relationships deal with the ‘expression of both love and conflict so common to most families,’ and sometimes touches on metaphor, asking the viewer to interpret the implied meaning.

In the same room as the sign photographs are three sculptural maquettes of uncelebrated modern-day heroes, which was thought-provoking in regard to the way we put historical figures on both literal and metaphorical pedestals. Her self-portraits were intriguing as the prosthetics looked so real that you could only tell it was a facade from looking at the eyes.

Lastly, the confession booths presented the result of an advert Wearing posted Confess All On Video. Don’t Worry, You Will Be In Disguise. Intrigued? Call Gillian….(1994) Like the grip of reality television, it was difficult to pull away from this seemingly never-ending reel of different true stories. It was tragic but thought provoking, and made me wonder how much we really know about the people that surround our daily lives.

Although at Sainsbury’s I’m quite aware that nobody knows me that well and I like it that way because I don’t want to enter into the petty problems that can occur in environments like that. I tend to distance myself from others and talk on a superficial level, and back away from questions asking how my long-distance relationship is and how my Valentine’s day was (err… weird, mind your own business cheers). I use the time to focus on the task in hand and sometimes zone out and spend time in my head due to the physical nature of the job.

However, the idea of everyone thinking you’re a great guy at work is turned sinister in the confessions booth as one man reveals his dark past as a murderer. The stories told elicit a response in you, ranging from sadness and sympathy to anger and disgust.

You can catch the Gillian Wearing exhibition until 17th June 2012.