Freelance Reflections #178

After a stressful time last week with looming bills I wasn’t sure I could afford, I’ve suddenly now got some financial stability as I transition out of freelance life and into full-time employment. This was followed by strange guilt-ridden spending on myself and others (with Christmas coming).

I’m realising what I need now is to focus on myself and my creative goals and artmaking. I think I’ve been worried about my age and not having time to delay, thinking I could plan my healing journey. However, it’s not something that can be rushed and so what is best is tuning into what I want and what fulfills me, and that is time alone and time for creativity, rather than meeting anyone new anytime soon (or even anyone old… since I’m still being contacted by men I’ve not even met from over five years ago).

I’ve been longlisted for a couple of things I can’t mention, and I was recently had a paid publication in Candlestick Press’ Ten Poems About Mothers. It’s beautiful and I am absolutely honoured to be published alongside the other poets, including Jackie Kay, who I studied at university during my undergraduate degree in English Literature!Other poems are by Laurie Bolger, Maura Dooley, Jonathan Edwards, Joanna Ingham, Jackie Kay, DH Lawrence, Roy McFarlane, Caleb Parkin and John Siddique. Tomorrow is also the next open mic at Forest Hill Library 2-4pm, so come along if you’re local!

Watching: Severance, Girlfriends, Envious

Reading: This is Yesterday by Rose Ruane, Black Issues in the Therapeutic Process by Isha McKenzie-Mavinga, Neverland by Vanessa Kisuule, The Trauma We Don’t Talk About by Ana Mael, I cannot be good until you say it by Sanah Ahsan, Remembering Things Past Volume 3 by Marcel Proust (audiobook recap)

Podcasts: What Now? with Trevor Noah, Sleepy

Music: Blondshell, Hayley Williams, Queens of the Stoneage, WARGASM, Hannah Grae, Chloe Lilac, Jamie T, Bob Vylan

If you’d like to buy some books, please do!