Tag: poetry

Tooting is the Epicentre of the Universe

Inspiration

The other day I went to an event held by the poetry collective Dirty Hands, in Tooting of all places! I grew up in Tooting… well, slap bang in the middle of Tooting and Earlsfield.  I walked down my old street (Garratt Lane) for a trip down memory lane.  There was a new place called Mel’s Cafe Bar which said something about “vintage beats” and looked quite cool!

Although it was a bit strange to see Amy Acre and Keith Jarrett performing in the middle of Tooting market, it was lovely, and is a really positive thing.  Much as I love East London, as I don’t live there (who actually does?!) it can be annoying having to trek there for anything creative and unique.  Tooting is moving up in the world.  And I want this badge really bad, because it says “Tooting is the Epicentre of the Universe’ and it reminds me of my childhood home.  It’s nice to have that because my parents moved the year before I went to uni, and then I went to living in two places (i.e. my Norwich house) and I can’t complain, but it’s just not the same as your childhood home.

I was with my friend Chi-Chi, and we then went to Wimbledon because Tooting isn’t posh enough to have Waterstones or The Body Shop and I needed to buy my mum’s birthday present.  I got her the cocoa butter she loves, and they gave a discount so even got an extra thing free and the whole lot was cheaper.  I also got her some clear nail varnish and a book token.

I got the NME for the first time in aaaaaaaaages!  I haven’t bought magazines in years.  I’ve been quite excited that it came out so recently and on Tuesday there’s a playlist of a few new songs… I am so out of touch!  I flicked through and saw a bad review for Sound of Rum, which I found really upsetting.

I haven’t heard it but it’s pretty ignorant of Noel Gardner to comment about her lyrics and ‘poetry slams’ when I’m pretty sure he hasn’t got a clue.  Calling her accent ‘mockney’ is taking the piss, because that’s just her fucking accent! 

Some people don’t seem to understand that there is no such thing as just one “Londonaccent” – the beauty of the city is the different sounds you hear, the diversity of accents that creates such a range of accents that stand for the city.  It brings me back to Charlie Dupree’s poem from a couple of weeks ago that was just so fucking spot on!  It’s something that pisses me off, because I don’t fit into a rigid category of what non-London people think of as a typical London accent, I don’t know, people can’t work it out?  In Peterborough I spoke to a perfectly nice man, but it annoyed me that he said ‘you’ve lost your accent then!’ as though I had developed a Norwich accent in three years of living there!  It’s quite insulting as I have grown up in London all my life (with a brief stint in Reading, perhaps before I could talk), I’ve loved living here and am proud of where I come from. 

My accent is a product of growing up to a Northern working class mum who constantly tells me to put the T’s on the end of my words, and a middle class Londoner dad, who himself makes fun of my Gran’s loud, enthusiastic and “posh” voice.  It is a product of having grown up in South London, going to local state schools, making friends with people from a great mix of backgrounds and cultures.  It is a product of listening to the Spice Girls, and watching American imported TV (I say ‘like’ waaay too much) and having my dad play bands like Blur, Coldplay and The Beatles.  It is a product of being shy and building the confidence to project and accentuate my words.  And sometimes, it’s the product of drinking too much and getting a bit lary and slurry.  And I hate to bang on about it but it riles me up!  As I’ve stated before, a frex off mine from the “cockney” band The Ruskins makes fun of me being a ‘posh git’, yet another guy I know from the amazing band Grenouille has referred to me as ‘cockney’.  The point is – I am neither of these things… my accent is just pretty normal and not strong in either direction, so there’s no need to put me in a box!

Matt, from Grenouille also said something about a mix of strength and vulnerability.  I really liked that, cause that’s what I’m about really, and that’s why I was saying earlier about my version of feminism.  To be a feminist, you shouldn’t feel the pressure to be this perfect emblem of strength and womanhood – it’s about being yourself, whoever that may be, and finding the strength to show the world who you are, and having the support of your sisters (and feminist brothers) to grow in confidence and love for humankind.  It’s why I’m inspired by the rawness and honesty and passion of people like Brody Dalle, Courtney Love, Alanis Morissette, Kathleen Hanna… and bringing me on to my next point… Kate Nash.

I already knew most of what the NME interview told me but I thought I’d mention it.  Ironically, it was the frex I mentioned earlier that was really into Kate Nash, here’s a pic of us at her gig. 

  

I think I’m actually a bigger fan of her than him!  I loved her last album and, whilst the old one reminds me of when I went out with my friend, this second one has more positive associations for me as I can feel like it’s just for me, and I love the way she takes something negative and turns it into a message of hope… epitomized in the lyrics ‘take my life… to a higher plane’.  Anyway, I think it’s really positive what she’s doing for young girls and I wish I had someone like that when I was younger.  I’m a bit wary of writing too much about her, because I know she knows a lot of poets and if I ever bumped into her it’d be a bit cringe to come across as some major fangirl!  But, I do have a lot of respect and admiration for her.

To end this post, a sad note.  I’m listening to TV on the Radio atm.  The bassist died of cancer last Wednesday.  My dad had emailed me their new video whilst I was in Norwich so it was really shocking and I had no idea. RIP.

xxx

Spoonful of Poison at the Urban Bar

Poetry Gigs

I looked up Urban Bar online and wished I had someone to come with me, such delish looking food!

It was literally across the road from Whitechapel station and has a cool tiger print, but sadly wasn’t that busy.  Spoon, who runs the night, suggested it was because it doesn’t get the flow of Brick Lane but as someone who travels to East London rather than lives there, it doesn’t make much difference for me.  It was nice to be on the Overground line, reminded me of last summer’s internship.

Spoon didn’t recognise me at first because of my new haircut so I felt a bit awkward and shy.  I spoke to a woman called Jan who did some cool things with a drum machine, keyboard and voice… a bit PJ Harvey meets Bjork.  I felt more relaxed after Spoon spoke to me, and he was really nice – you can’t see it on the video I filmed, but he squeezed three round of applause out for me haha.

At some point they made jokes about PRS and I felt pretty smug with myself knowing what they were talking about, having gone to this crash course into the music industry thing.  There were some people at the back that talked through it all and one performer pointed it out and it was a bit awkward but it didn’t even stop them!

One guy came up to me to say well done, and he also asked ‘are you really a feminist?’ and he defos represented the predominant negative perception feminist have these days.  I told him I believed in equality, but he seemed to think it was a given, but the point is, it’s not!  That’s why we still need feminism, and I want to reclaim the word.  I feel like I should write a book on being a feminist. I’ve been reading The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir but I also have an urge to read more modern texts to see what other people of my generation are writing about.

Another thing I’ve been wanting to reclaim is patriotism.  I want to reclaim it from the racists because being proud of your country shouldn’t be about racism and that’s generally the association one gets… as seen from the reaction of when I drunkenly told my friend ‘I’m fiercely patriotic’.  I’m not sure where I stand on the whole Royal Wedding thing… as someone who fundamentally believes in equality, the notion of a monarchy doesn’t sit right with me, but I did watch a lot of it on TV and I thought it was lovely, and the speech by the priest was particularly touching, as the couple seem like nice people… so it was nice to celebrate the occasion, and seeing them laugh after the crowd cheered at their kiss on the balcony, the cute little girl covering her ears at the noise, the choir boy who was REALLY into it, the EMOTION in his eyes haha!, and that moment driving in the car saying ‘JU5T WED’ – classic with modern twists!  I wish I had gone to Battersea’s street party in a way, because it seemed like it would have a real sense of pride on being British, from a diverse range of cultures and backgrounds… because our democracy, our embracing of the different and the quirky, our freedom… it’s all something to be celebrated.

In going back to the poetry event.  I was tempted to wear jeans, but I always feel too dressed down.  I ended up going for one of my favourite dresses… it’s so versitle in terms of day/night.  It’s from Motel, one of my favourite brands.  It has a rose print at the bottom which is a a-line shaped, and plain black at the top, so it’s a really flattering shape.  I can offer a discount code for Motel dresses online, so drop me a line and I’ll let your know the code 😉

I dedicated my poem ‘To Be Loved’ to Ellie Glouding because I read that she thinks feminists would be turning in their graves to hear her songs and seems to suggest that you can’t be a feminist and express love or vulnerability.  But why can’t I be a feminist who is also patriotic, likes clothes, dislikes having body hair, and falls in love with the wrong people sometimes?

A bit of a dampener on the other day, a discussion about drugs and alcohol escalated and I got upset about it, but I don’t want to go into those details, as it is personal.  The thing I have learnt about going to the feminist discussion group, is that we don’t have all the answers, things are not black and white.  That goes for drugs as well.  I don’t feel I can judge people to take illegal drugs whilst drinking alcohol… as there has been a lot of evidence to show that alcohol is equally, and, in some cases, more harmful, than some drugs.  I don’t advocate either as the best examples of what you should do with your life but I believe in freedom of choice.  I believe that it would help to decriminalize the use of drugs, because people who get addictions need help.  It can been seen in other countries that legalisation actually produces a decline in drug abuse, and whilst I don’t think that would initially help in the UK, I think it shows a positive example of what can be achieved.  I think it’s a complicated issue, and it needs addressing on so many different levels.  The drinking culture in the UK is problematic, as the focus is often on getting drunk and leads to bingeing.  In the past I have wanted to deny this is a problem, but I feel I have been the poster-girl for the problem more often than not, and I want to develop a more healthy relationship with drinking, because it is something I enjoy doing when I do it in the right way.  It’s about information and education from a young age, and in the right way, with honesty, not scare-mongering and moral panic in the media.  Anyway, before I start going on about my views on sex education and so on, I’m going to stop.

xxx

Easter Two-Nighter

Poetry Gigs

Right, because I’m at my London home and using the laptop I spilt water on that doesn’t have the letter ‘g’ (and it’s nearly 1am) I’m going to try to keep it short and sweet.  I’m writing it slightly annoyed because I wanted to say something and can’t remember and have been trying for ages to remember grrr!

Last night I SANG with my frex Will Gardiner who played the guitar for me.  It was for the Late Shift at UEA’s Sainsbury’s Centre.  After years of wanting to do this and being to scared to do it, it was actually not any scarier than reading poetry.  There were some other amazing performers and was really happy to be included in such a fantastic line-up.  Check all these people out: Jamnesty, Rachael Durrant, Vince Laws and David Osbiston.  And if you want to look at how it went for me, you can watch  the video on YouTube… though listening to it myself is a bit cringe and it seemed way better at the time haha.  Also, I was aware I messed up some of the words as I was doing it so that’s never nice to hear.

I continued the night with my friends Helen and Laura, and so it was a proper last night in Norwich.  I came home for the Farrago gig by train and it was long and I had a heavy suitcase, so pretty tiring.  My mum picked my up from Worcester Park station, and of course, when I walked past the traffic, a load of guys were being “ultimate lads” aka “ultimate tools” and shouted out at me ‘alright schweetheart, need a hand?’  I didn’t respond at all, even if I came up with a witty come-back, it would just be giving them what they wanted.  I was in a weird mood, maybe a delayed reaction from talking to a friend earlier about something that’s been frustrating me for a while, combined with nerves and disappointment that I didn’t think anyone was coming to watch me.

However, I was mostly in a positive frame of mind, just had a mini-stress-out.  I’m looking forward to tucking into the best Easter chocolate as well – dark chocolate egg and lots of creme eggs!

So, tonight I had a huge surprise coming out of Goodge Street tube station.  An old college friend, Janet Etuk, who was not only there… but there to see me!  And, even better, Anya Destiney came along too – the girl who you could say is responsible for everyone having to endure me read poetry!  Both girls are mighty-fine actresses as well so keep your eyes peeled!

The other features of the night were Charlie Dupre, Fran Landesman, Clair Whitefield, Sharnika Power, The Wizard of Skill, and AF Harrold.  Charlie, Clair, and Sharnika were all unfamiliar to me and they were incredible!  Espesh, Sharnika, at only 16, she was unbelievably good, so confident and intelligent.

I forgot my camera, which was a shame, since I actually had people to record it for me, and I think it went quite well… though it was cut really short.  Anyway, I thought I’d start posting more photos and stuff to make this more interesting and personal.  Part of that will be pictures of me haha, basically, I’m quite into style (I’m inclined to say style rather than fashion for obvious reasons) and any attempt to go to poetry readings in just a jeans and t-shirt combo never really happens… I like dressing up, and maybe coming from a “dance background” it makes me see it more as a performance with costume haha… that’s why the up-coming Glam Slam is exciting!

I’m wearing a yellow Passenger t-shirt (it was quite cheap at some shop, and I got my friend Natalie Cooper a similar design) with a standard red h&m cardi, and not shown in the picture, a high-waisted black skirt.  Note the badge from Russel J Turner, reading “all you pretty fuckers”.

Okay, that took just under an hour.  I have lots to occupy myself with tomorrow and will hopefully be swimming again, with my mum.  I went the other day in Norwich and it was really nice.  I kinda wanted to go to Tooting Bec Lido but my mum keeps changing her mind.  That reminds me, there’s poetry stuff going down in Tooting, which is where I spent most of my childhood.  If anyone is near 833 Garratt Lane, please ask for my Barbie dolls, I miss them.

xxx

Alphabet Soup

Poetry Gigs

Last night I read a whole collection of new poems from my creative writing coursework.  One I named after a Henry Holland patishe t-shirt I have called ‘Blow Bubbles Not Bombs’ and the whole set was based around love but that poem was probably the most personal and it wasn’t about relationships, and less moaning about guys is defos a good thing! I was really pleased with the collection so I hope I get a good mark.  My housemate Kirstie, and my friend Laura came to support me, which was cool as the crowd wasn’t as packed as usual!  Laura said even though I did a lot of ‘page’ poems I did them well and I seemed really professional, so yay!

I ended the set with a sneak preview of what me and my frex Will are gonna be doing at the Late Shift next Wednesday (20th April) at the Sainsbury’s Centre in Norwich.  It’s basically him on guitar as an “assisstant” as Hasina, the event organiser, called him haha!  I will be singing and doing poetry and luckily Laura said she’d come so that’ll be cool.  Anyway, we did ‘Drama’ and people thought it was cool!

Omg!  It’s suprising how much “poetry beef” (as The Ruby Kid has referred to it!) there is on the scene.  One of the poets who I know from uni did a poem about another one of my friend’s and even though it was funny and spot on and a brilliant poem, I feel a bit bad because I imagine he won’t take it so well.  She’s going to email it to him but I think if he was there when she read it, it may have provoked debate so may have a more negative consequence now.

Gossip gossip!  I was excited a while back to find out that Time Clare is going out with a girl from Bearsuit.  Most amazing couple or what?!

xxx

Bare Feet Cabaret

Poetry Gigs

Right, I’m going to attempt to make this short and sweet but it’s not something I find easy to do but I’d really love to do a bit more of my dissertation and also need to do ironing and washing up and make a packed lunch tonight as I won’t have time for dinner (I had dinner at lunch though… SCALLOPS! left over mixed beans and French Stick drizzled with olive oil and scattered with salt YUM!)

Okay, so I was gutted Liam Parkin had to pull out of his set because it was a bit of a surprise to me he was even doing it, as he’s part of the LitSoc committee and he’s never mentioned it!  I was on second… I’m not sure what the first guy’s name was but he reminded me of the bands I used to see when I was a teenager (God, that’s weird to say) and I also got an email from this thing where a lot of these old bands were on and I can’t find anything on Facebook about them so they’re probably all finished.  Anyway, I knew/recognised all the front row which was a bit weird, Josh seemed to be occupied with a carrier bag for most of the night but it made for later jokes and he waited to have his cigarette until after me, yay!  Even though I was doing a lot of performance stylee stuff.  I wasn’t in the mood in the day so was glad I got into it when I was there.

Billy Hallett was good, I suppose… haha, but he has just pulled out of the LitSoc event that’s tonight so I can’t find many kind words for him at the moment.  He had lots of friends there though and I had, like, one, so that was good.  Josh read his poetry but he’d said he wasn’t really in the mood and you could tell, though the kind of blasé way can be part of the charm.  I just like listening to the words, it’s nice.

The other poet that was on was Tabby Farrar.  Josh had looked her up on Google, and pictures of her on the Font Magazine website.  I thought it was a shame that these pictures came up before her poetry as I’m all for making money from it, but if poetry is your passion, personally I would find it disappointing if that were the case for me.  Then again, maybe she doesn’t have much online presence (I think I’m on A LOT of websites).  The pictures were hot though!  I think I’m a little bit jealous; the pictures online seem pretty fucking cool, but I wasn’t even that great at modelling with my clothes all on the one time I tried it and would love to have the confidence to attempt at being “sexy” rather than constantly smiling (or the occasional pout when drunk).  Then again, maybe if I was 17 pounds lighter and had breasts 3 cup sizes bigger, and two inches taller, MAYBE I would be more confident.  There’s no way I would be able to lie on my back because I would look like a flabby man. Ha! Anyway, on the night, Tabby reminded me a bit of a mix between me when I was younger and someone I know from home.  I started off doing lots of poems about sex (or rather about dancing but alluding to sex, as I didn’t actually have sex until I was 19) and drinking and guys… and I still do, but I try to expand more.  She spoke to me in the interval and was very sweet and complimentary about my set.

A couple of Canadian people spoke to me as well.  One of which was a guy called Devon, and although he didn’t have his band with him, his solo act was great and I could imagine it would be even more amazing with his bandmates and without the guitar crackling problems.  He referred to a ‘she poet’ in his set, which Tabby assumed was her at first, probably from her friends saying it though… I wouldn’t have assumed it was me anyway… BUT turns out it was her because he went up to her and I had to approach him.  Oh well, I got a second-hand download voucher, wow, looks like it has 13 tracks, nice one!  Adam Warne, a comedy act, was hilarious!  The night ended on The Woodland Creatures, who were in the same vein as The Middle Ones, and yet unique in their own right and that was lovely to finish on.

I then went to queue up for Lola Lo’s to meet my housemates, but after half an hour I gave up.  Probably for the best as I’m going to be super productive now!  I just need to pick the poems I’m going to read tonight…

xxx

Carmina of the Rant

Poetry Gigs

I am bursting to say what I did not earlier.  I’m writing this at one in the morning but will post it the next day with the appropriate video.

[Edit: Please remember I was pretty drunk when writing this]

Firstly, I have been accepted onto the Creative Entrepreneurship MA at UEA London!  I didn’t know what to expect, felt it could go either way… my housemate Jordi told me via Facebook that the letter was at our house but I was in London.  In case I didn’t get on, I waited until I got back to Norwich, and with my stupid shoes cutting through my flesh I rushed from bus stop to door and tore open the letter.  I was happy.  I am happy.  It’s a peak, but there are still troughs and that happiness is still temporary.  (That’s actually a reference to that day’s Loose Women… oh dear!)  However, I would be devastated if I didn’t get on.

I’m currently listening to Jessie J’s album and I am increasingly irritated.  She has switched from earlier work into an Americanized accent and it pisses me off.  She sounds so much better natural.  Clearly forgetting her roots… and as soon as Price Tag, the first track, plays, it is clearly bullshit.  She has stated in Style magazine that one of her mottos is to ‘don’t cater for the handful, cater for the masses’ which just is the total opposite of what the lyrics in that song seem to say.  She has a good voice, her songs are good, so why put on some fake accent?  America = the masses = money money money. Bring back the mandem, that’s what I say.

Anyway, tonight.  Despite being tired I went to Word of Mouth.  I feel like I need to do anything I can to expose my poetry.  I knew all the acts and the one I was most impressed with (and during the Christmas holidays I gigged at the same place as him and headline act Pete The Temp) was… Captain of the Rant.  To be honest, I couldn’t remember Pete’s act that much and while this time, I do appreciate he was entertaining, I wasn’t sure he was actually a ‘poet’ but he did do at least one good poem… I would call him more of a comedy act though.

The open mic afterwards was good to do, but the main thing for me was that Captain of the Rant and his friends ruined it for me.  A guy I know from UEA’s CWS ranted about the Captain himself, calling him ‘Captain of the Fuckface’ or something… anyway, I was glad, he deserved it and I’d hoped he felt bad, but him and his mates kept on chatting.  As I was impressed with his act both times I’d seen him, I was disappointed in him and I was just gutted to be honest, absolutely gutted.  Amy Wragg commented it was an open mic and that ‘some people pay attention, and some people don’t’ but personally, I think that’s a load of bollocks!  It’s just rude to talk over spoken word, open mic or not. [Edit: Okay, yes, that’s my opinion but if you argue that one has the right to ignore what’s going on, then I argue it’s my right to be pissed off.  However, I just gave a lot of drunken evil eyes.  Listening back to the YouTube video, I think I attempted to make a point by almost screaming some of Claymore.]

[Edit: I have removed a small section because although I found it funny, it could be misinterpreted as rude]

In the words of Scroobius Pip “thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you’ve done your shitty little poem or song, you self-righteous prick.”  I know part of the meaning is that these are things we do… but the main thing is to take it on board.  I’m sure talking through other people’s poems (no matter how shitty they are) is included in this sentiment.  I’m understanding more than ever that when you want to do what you enjoy as a career it can become like a chore… I came to this night because I felt I should, rather than because I really wanted to go.  So, I can understand just going and doing you’re bit, but I don’t want to be like that.  I tend to like to make a night of these things by drinking but I know I’ll have to do less of that the more often I do it… financially and health-wise.  I don’t want that to mean I leave early, I want to stay as long as I can and not forget the places that I came from.

I also got annoyed talking to a friend.  Not because of what they said per say, as they are interesting to talk and debate with… but in terms of my own questioning who I am and what I do. I was told at a Farrago event at the start of the year about an event that’s more for “page poets” and I was offended at the implication that I wasn’t good enough to be considered a performance poet.  Then again, this friend thinks I’m more of a performance poet and that not many of my poems are fit for the page… hence the magazine rejections, I guess.  I do like fitting into both categories, and maybe that’s part of the danger, but it saddens me to be told I don’t fit in either… that I’m not good enough for either.

So, I am happy about my MA… I feel I have direction now and I like that, I like setting goals and ticking things off.  I just need to get some money for it!  Please somebody fund me!  I’m trying to look it as an investment!  Anyway, yes, I’m happy but as always, nothing is good enough… I have to push forward still, and things are still pissing me off, things are still getting me down, my heart is still broken, my body is still alone at night and my poetry was about mental illness tonight, so what do you expect?

Okay, so I’m going to stop listening to this album now.  Stopping it on Who’s Laughing Now which is a good track because it’s personal, which I like, and it’s clear despite the stupid fake accent, she can sing.  Also, a lot of the stuff in the Style article was pretty cool, and her speech at the Brits was amazing.  She seems like a nice girl, and to me… talent and personality… that’s what’s important right? 

respect

The Captain has since apologised and can have his hat back.

xxx

Farrago Heartbreak(er)

Poetry Gigs

Last night I went to Farrago at the RADA bar, and had bagged myself a feature.  My train was delayed and I didn’t know when I was on, but I didn’t stress myself about it because last time the show started at 8pm.  I was pleased with my set but wished I slowed down a bit.  The time is usually quite tight at Farrago, so it was probably better in this case to be quick so I didn’t have to cut my poems short.  I was quite surprised at some of the noises the crowd made because I guess it just seems so natural to me, but I did deal with some emotional matters with a kind of raw honesty.  I’m glad some people laughed at the last poem, ‘Lullaby’ because I see it as a kind of tragi-comedy poem about the ridiculous patterns of thought when you’re infactuated with someone, and wanting them to like you and hoping they feel the same way when they don’t.  It was inspired by reading Sarah Kane and listening to Regina Spektor’s song of the same title… although for some reason I only have half the song. 

A girl I met through an ex boyfriend came to perform again.  I think I may have mentioned she came to the Tea Box gig as she’s trying to get into the poetry circuit.  Her name’s Harriet Cramer and she’s soon going to get a collection published, so watch this space!

Quite a few people came up to me and asked for any websites etc. which was really cool!  The second time someone has asked if I have anything published!  To be honest, I still get rejected from most magazines, and have never tried to get a collection published.  I don’t think I’m ready but I hope to be at that stage after the MA in Creative Entrepreneurship – if I get onto it!  I need to go through my mass of poems to pick out the best.  I also like the idea of working with a theme.  Visually, I want it to be a cross between Laura Dockrill’s Mistakes in the Background, and Courtney Love’s Dirty Blonde.  I’d love to have a more plain collection as well… oh to be a Faber New Poet!

I was also introduced on stage for a second time as something like ‘the angel of heartbreak’ which I was very embarrassed and uncomfortable about.  I had to introduce the winner or the special heartbreak(er) prize – a pick-up line generator, Patrick Hearn.  He said ‘see you at the pub after?’ which added to my embarrassment but I did what I usually do in those situations and giggled like a little girl, which is probably why people think it’s normal to call me an angel and are shocked at some of the things that come out of my mouth haha!  But, hey, it’s just a shyness thing and it’s part of who I am so, irritating as it is, it is how I shall probably stay!

xxx

Spoken Word Seduction – Valentine’s Day

Poetry Gigs

I spent my Valentine’s eve at this open mic.  I went alone, as you can see from the camera angle here.  I wasn’t much in the mood for drinking Foster’s again so started off with some vodka in still lemonade, yum! However, the vodka at the bar was double the price of pints so I went for the cheaper option.

My set was a bitter re-telling of recent romantic failures.  I may have broken both sides of my heart now but at least I can turn these into attempts at poetry.  Writing a poem for your boyfriend (and yes, I’ve done the lovely dovey ‘I’ve never been more happy than this, when you tell me I’m beautiful and give me a kiss’ poetry dedications) may affect them momentarily, but tales of heartbreak will always resonate with more people because I think most people have had mad/sad/bad experiences with love.

I spent the day watching unattractive males walk around with roses and other such bunches of flowers.  I think there’s probably only one guy that ever knew I would rather a packet of seeds fo Antirrhinum flowers, although he would know them only by the name snapdragon, has probably forgotten and doesn’t care for me.  I sent this guy a Valentine’s card as one last shot to make something happen.  However, I accidentally sent it to my parent’s address which is my billing address.  I sent him a text but he didn’t reply.  Time to move on.

I went speed dating the night before, and although the layout was pretty bad (it was like a school canteen, with the girl’s moving along) and you had to shout to be heard in the roar of noise… well, it was really fun!  I went with a frex of mine and so it’s pretty cool we can do that together.  I have ZERO female single friends.  Anyway, I put down about 8 guys names and got 4 matches, so that’s not bad.

I ended Valentine’s Day by walking home from town as I got a 35 bus and didn’t know where to get off.  I took a detour through the park and, slightly inebriated, I ran up the steps to the slide and went down it.  I ended up with on my knees, ripping my dress.  It was probably the best way to end up in that position really.

xxx

Verbal Detox CWS Open Mic

Poetry Gigs

Monday I did the open mic and my friend Laura came along with me which was nice.  The theme was ‘detox’ and we were encouraged to show the “new you” so I did all new material, including one about my new haircut, whilst wearing a new dress, just £2 from primark! However I didn’t get any of the prize potatoes, so had to ask for some at the end as I do love potatoes!

A couple of girls came up to me and said how much they liked my set and said how they felt the words I spoke, which was great to hear because of it being new material, and that’s kind of the aim of what I do.  I want people to understand and feel what I feel, like when you hear songs that just speak to you.

There were all the usual performers really, apart from one girl at the start who was good but brought one REALLY irritating and, quite frankly, rude friend.  She was constantly texting, eating, talking, laughing and had her back to the performers all night.  I thought maybe she was going out after and just there for pre-drinks because her friends were there, but I noticed her change from heels to flats.  It was just weird, I couldn’t help thinking WHY IS SHE HERE?!

John Simpson Wedge was doing a ‘feature’ set and it was the best he’d ever performed.  There was a lot of variety, as he ventured away from the comedy and did an amazing serious prose piece, and then a Coolio parody which was funny.

Me and Laura ended up accidentally going out and went to Havana’s.  It was fun but I didn’t want to drink as much as I did.  It was good to meet some guys from The Birdcage but on the dance floor I was astounded at the disgusting behaviour from men in there.  There was a big group of guys that just dominated an area and it just felt really unpleasant and predatory.  At one point two of them came up to me and started to try to “dance” with me from in front and behind and I was creeped out and got them to move away, or rather, I just moved away.  There were a group of scary guys that kept asking for a dance and then when we said no, they asked if we spoke English, and also asked if we would dance with their uncle, who was an elderly, short man.  They followed us when we moved away, another guy even tried to keep one away from us.  They attempted to touch Laura from behind and I told them to back off.  Later, we saw they were leaving and glad, they walked past as and one pinched my bum so I pushed him away and felt incredibly angry.  He turned to me in a threatening manner and I shouted not to touch me.  They left but it ruined the night a bit and we decided to leave and got chips.  We talked whilst waiting for the bus but didn’t get home until 4.30am.  So I was pretty tired the next day!

Anyway, that’s about it.  DJ set at The Birdcage tomorrow with Kristy and our laptops haha.

xxx

Dead Poets and HEADcrash

Poetry Gigs

Dead Poets were at Word of Mouth on Monday.  I’d never heard them before and they were great, such a good show! It over-ran by half an hour and I didn’t even notice the time.  So, the After Hours open mic didn’t happen til near to 11pm I think, and I didn’t read until around an hour or so later.  I didn’t know I was going until I saw that it was on about five mins before I had to leave so I grab three poems.  I regretted the poems I picked but still it went okay, and Mixy from Dead Poets said he liked it so can’t complain!

A couple of days later I did a gig at HEADcrash at The Birdcage.  I noticed me and my housemate’s face were on flyers for the DJing we’re doing next week which was pretty funny/cool.  I was on just before Tim Clare, so was the penultimate act.  I felt okay as I had a lot of familiar faces and I know the venue well and I enjoyed my performance.

As I’ve seen most of the acts before I thought I’d just mention a couple of names.  Bethan Williams was my favourite poet of the night; I thought her set was very well thought-out and whatever she says, she is pretty and intelligent!  Dan McKee was really funny as well, though he did comedy rather than poetry, it’s always nice to have a laugh.  Tim Clare obviously did a great set… a massive contrast to my own, and he did the one about crazzzzyyyy yeah! Errrm…

Another performer, Andy Bennett came up and gave me some advice, in a really nice way.  I’ll have to take it on board because it was actually the second time I’d got both pieces of advice in a fortnight!  He said that I knew my poems too well to use the paper security blanket, and to speak slower at times.  At The Tea Box gig, Vanessa said I should do my poems by heart, and Anna said she wished she could hear Roots slowed down, so yes, I will take these things on board, they’re kind of things I want to progress too, I guess it’s just more clear now that it’s actually possible.  However, I will probably read some new stuff on next Monday’s open mic so that’s my excuse!

xxx