I had an art presentation at university last week, so I spent a lot of the last weekend art making. It also helped put me in touch with my emotions, as I had to contend with the fact that the idealised version in my head didn’t match the reality, and was able to notice the waves of sadness and anxiety as I let go of my desire to control. I also finally got round to combatting my fear of lino printing!
I was pleased with the presentation and wanted to use this as an opportunity to show everything that I’ve been processing, what’s been going on in my head. I also showed the poetry side, which I put down to me revealing so much of myself. It’s not because I feel safe to do so. It felt extremely vulnerable, especially when faced with the silence as questions and thoughts bubbled from my peers. I appreciated those who spoke, but I also know the times where it was difficult to process my thoughts and frame a question in the time given.
On placement, I felt myself have to contain the excitement of doing the work, as I remember speaking with a colleague and feeling this bubbling inside me, when I was talking about serious matters, to feel that I am realising this calling that has been with me for so long. Yet, I am also aware of the fact that it’s not possible to help everyone and that rather harsh reality was met in the context that I might be in the wrong time or my placement might have ended by the time this young person gets to that point in the point in the waiting list. I have to acknowledge the way I perhaps over-related to the client and put them first in terms of potentially being seen sooner by someone else.
It has felt like a busy week; I had a friend over for dinner on Monday, a late lecture on Tuesday, a film preview on Wednesday, a Zoom Stanza meeting yesterday and with a family-filled weekend and work, I’m looking forward to finishing at 7:30pm tonight and staying in – especially with the colder weather we’re having!
Again, if you’re able to share or donate to my crowdfund as I train to become an Art Psychotherapist, or buy some books, please do!
Poet on page and stage. Creator of She Grrrowls. Facilitator. Writer. 