Tag: Carmina

Bare Feet Cabaret

Poetry Gigs

Right, I’m going to attempt to make this short and sweet but it’s not something I find easy to do but I’d really love to do a bit more of my dissertation and also need to do ironing and washing up and make a packed lunch tonight as I won’t have time for dinner (I had dinner at lunch though… SCALLOPS! left over mixed beans and French Stick drizzled with olive oil and scattered with salt YUM!)

Okay, so I was gutted Liam Parkin had to pull out of his set because it was a bit of a surprise to me he was even doing it, as he’s part of the LitSoc committee and he’s never mentioned it!  I was on second… I’m not sure what the first guy’s name was but he reminded me of the bands I used to see when I was a teenager (God, that’s weird to say) and I also got an email from this thing where a lot of these old bands were on and I can’t find anything on Facebook about them so they’re probably all finished.  Anyway, I knew/recognised all the front row which was a bit weird, Josh seemed to be occupied with a carrier bag for most of the night but it made for later jokes and he waited to have his cigarette until after me, yay!  Even though I was doing a lot of performance stylee stuff.  I wasn’t in the mood in the day so was glad I got into it when I was there.

Billy Hallett was good, I suppose… haha, but he has just pulled out of the LitSoc event that’s tonight so I can’t find many kind words for him at the moment.  He had lots of friends there though and I had, like, one, so that was good.  Josh read his poetry but he’d said he wasn’t really in the mood and you could tell, though the kind of blasé way can be part of the charm.  I just like listening to the words, it’s nice.

The other poet that was on was Tabby Farrar.  Josh had looked her up on Google, and pictures of her on the Font Magazine website.  I thought it was a shame that these pictures came up before her poetry as I’m all for making money from it, but if poetry is your passion, personally I would find it disappointing if that were the case for me.  Then again, maybe she doesn’t have much online presence (I think I’m on A LOT of websites).  The pictures were hot though!  I think I’m a little bit jealous; the pictures online seem pretty fucking cool, but I wasn’t even that great at modelling with my clothes all on the one time I tried it and would love to have the confidence to attempt at being “sexy” rather than constantly smiling (or the occasional pout when drunk).  Then again, maybe if I was 17 pounds lighter and had breasts 3 cup sizes bigger, and two inches taller, MAYBE I would be more confident.  There’s no way I would be able to lie on my back because I would look like a flabby man. Ha! Anyway, on the night, Tabby reminded me a bit of a mix between me when I was younger and someone I know from home.  I started off doing lots of poems about sex (or rather about dancing but alluding to sex, as I didn’t actually have sex until I was 19) and drinking and guys… and I still do, but I try to expand more.  She spoke to me in the interval and was very sweet and complimentary about my set.

A couple of Canadian people spoke to me as well.  One of which was a guy called Devon, and although he didn’t have his band with him, his solo act was great and I could imagine it would be even more amazing with his bandmates and without the guitar crackling problems.  He referred to a ‘she poet’ in his set, which Tabby assumed was her at first, probably from her friends saying it though… I wouldn’t have assumed it was me anyway… BUT turns out it was her because he went up to her and I had to approach him.  Oh well, I got a second-hand download voucher, wow, looks like it has 13 tracks, nice one!  Adam Warne, a comedy act, was hilarious!  The night ended on The Woodland Creatures, who were in the same vein as The Middle Ones, and yet unique in their own right and that was lovely to finish on.

I then went to queue up for Lola Lo’s to meet my housemates, but after half an hour I gave up.  Probably for the best as I’m going to be super productive now!  I just need to pick the poems I’m going to read tonight…

xxx

Carmina of the Rant

Poetry Gigs

I am bursting to say what I did not earlier.  I’m writing this at one in the morning but will post it the next day with the appropriate video.

[Edit: Please remember I was pretty drunk when writing this]

Firstly, I have been accepted onto the Creative Entrepreneurship MA at UEA London!  I didn’t know what to expect, felt it could go either way… my housemate Jordi told me via Facebook that the letter was at our house but I was in London.  In case I didn’t get on, I waited until I got back to Norwich, and with my stupid shoes cutting through my flesh I rushed from bus stop to door and tore open the letter.  I was happy.  I am happy.  It’s a peak, but there are still troughs and that happiness is still temporary.  (That’s actually a reference to that day’s Loose Women… oh dear!)  However, I would be devastated if I didn’t get on.

I’m currently listening to Jessie J’s album and I am increasingly irritated.  She has switched from earlier work into an Americanized accent and it pisses me off.  She sounds so much better natural.  Clearly forgetting her roots… and as soon as Price Tag, the first track, plays, it is clearly bullshit.  She has stated in Style magazine that one of her mottos is to ‘don’t cater for the handful, cater for the masses’ which just is the total opposite of what the lyrics in that song seem to say.  She has a good voice, her songs are good, so why put on some fake accent?  America = the masses = money money money. Bring back the mandem, that’s what I say.

Anyway, tonight.  Despite being tired I went to Word of Mouth.  I feel like I need to do anything I can to expose my poetry.  I knew all the acts and the one I was most impressed with (and during the Christmas holidays I gigged at the same place as him and headline act Pete The Temp) was… Captain of the Rant.  To be honest, I couldn’t remember Pete’s act that much and while this time, I do appreciate he was entertaining, I wasn’t sure he was actually a ‘poet’ but he did do at least one good poem… I would call him more of a comedy act though.

The open mic afterwards was good to do, but the main thing for me was that Captain of the Rant and his friends ruined it for me.  A guy I know from UEA’s CWS ranted about the Captain himself, calling him ‘Captain of the Fuckface’ or something… anyway, I was glad, he deserved it and I’d hoped he felt bad, but him and his mates kept on chatting.  As I was impressed with his act both times I’d seen him, I was disappointed in him and I was just gutted to be honest, absolutely gutted.  Amy Wragg commented it was an open mic and that ‘some people pay attention, and some people don’t’ but personally, I think that’s a load of bollocks!  It’s just rude to talk over spoken word, open mic or not. [Edit: Okay, yes, that’s my opinion but if you argue that one has the right to ignore what’s going on, then I argue it’s my right to be pissed off.  However, I just gave a lot of drunken evil eyes.  Listening back to the YouTube video, I think I attempted to make a point by almost screaming some of Claymore.]

[Edit: I have removed a small section because although I found it funny, it could be misinterpreted as rude]

In the words of Scroobius Pip “thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you’ve done your shitty little poem or song, you self-righteous prick.”  I know part of the meaning is that these are things we do… but the main thing is to take it on board.  I’m sure talking through other people’s poems (no matter how shitty they are) is included in this sentiment.  I’m understanding more than ever that when you want to do what you enjoy as a career it can become like a chore… I came to this night because I felt I should, rather than because I really wanted to go.  So, I can understand just going and doing you’re bit, but I don’t want to be like that.  I tend to like to make a night of these things by drinking but I know I’ll have to do less of that the more often I do it… financially and health-wise.  I don’t want that to mean I leave early, I want to stay as long as I can and not forget the places that I came from.

I also got annoyed talking to a friend.  Not because of what they said per say, as they are interesting to talk and debate with… but in terms of my own questioning who I am and what I do. I was told at a Farrago event at the start of the year about an event that’s more for “page poets” and I was offended at the implication that I wasn’t good enough to be considered a performance poet.  Then again, this friend thinks I’m more of a performance poet and that not many of my poems are fit for the page… hence the magazine rejections, I guess.  I do like fitting into both categories, and maybe that’s part of the danger, but it saddens me to be told I don’t fit in either… that I’m not good enough for either.

So, I am happy about my MA… I feel I have direction now and I like that, I like setting goals and ticking things off.  I just need to get some money for it!  Please somebody fund me!  I’m trying to look it as an investment!  Anyway, yes, I’m happy but as always, nothing is good enough… I have to push forward still, and things are still pissing me off, things are still getting me down, my heart is still broken, my body is still alone at night and my poetry was about mental illness tonight, so what do you expect?

Okay, so I’m going to stop listening to this album now.  Stopping it on Who’s Laughing Now which is a good track because it’s personal, which I like, and it’s clear despite the stupid fake accent, she can sing.  Also, a lot of the stuff in the Style article was pretty cool, and her speech at the Brits was amazing.  She seems like a nice girl, and to me… talent and personality… that’s what’s important right? 

respect

The Captain has since apologised and can have his hat back.

xxx

Spoken Word Seduction – Valentine’s Day

Poetry Gigs

I spent my Valentine’s eve at this open mic.  I went alone, as you can see from the camera angle here.  I wasn’t much in the mood for drinking Foster’s again so started off with some vodka in still lemonade, yum! However, the vodka at the bar was double the price of pints so I went for the cheaper option.

My set was a bitter re-telling of recent romantic failures.  I may have broken both sides of my heart now but at least I can turn these into attempts at poetry.  Writing a poem for your boyfriend (and yes, I’ve done the lovely dovey ‘I’ve never been more happy than this, when you tell me I’m beautiful and give me a kiss’ poetry dedications) may affect them momentarily, but tales of heartbreak will always resonate with more people because I think most people have had mad/sad/bad experiences with love.

I spent the day watching unattractive males walk around with roses and other such bunches of flowers.  I think there’s probably only one guy that ever knew I would rather a packet of seeds fo Antirrhinum flowers, although he would know them only by the name snapdragon, has probably forgotten and doesn’t care for me.  I sent this guy a Valentine’s card as one last shot to make something happen.  However, I accidentally sent it to my parent’s address which is my billing address.  I sent him a text but he didn’t reply.  Time to move on.

I went speed dating the night before, and although the layout was pretty bad (it was like a school canteen, with the girl’s moving along) and you had to shout to be heard in the roar of noise… well, it was really fun!  I went with a frex of mine and so it’s pretty cool we can do that together.  I have ZERO female single friends.  Anyway, I put down about 8 guys names and got 4 matches, so that’s not bad.

I ended Valentine’s Day by walking home from town as I got a 35 bus and didn’t know where to get off.  I took a detour through the park and, slightly inebriated, I ran up the steps to the slide and went down it.  I ended up with on my knees, ripping my dress.  It was probably the best way to end up in that position really.

xxx

Farrago Poetry: School’s Out Slam

Poetry Gigs

I was feeling excited about going to Farrago, as it’s a place I’ve been many times and it’s a place I feel comfortable in.  However, I ended up with NO FRIENDS coming to see me.  As my personal life’s been a bit up and down, losing a few friends and that, I had to just not think about this too much or I knew it would get me down.  When I am friends with someone I see it as friends for life, so it has been upsetting, but it’s good to keep busy and take my mind off it all.

Anyway, luckily everyone is friendly at Farrago, and an Australian guy who sponsors poetry and puts on events chatted to me for a bit and even bought me a drink.  AF Harrold was on first, for his first 10 minutes, but to be honest, as I was on next, I couldn’t give a proper opinion on that as I tend to get quite nervous before I go on.

I really enjoyed my performance, although I’d planned to do one more poem, I knew I was limited to 10 minutes so was happy enough to end it on ‘Roots’, the poem I wanted to finish with.  I tried to do it off by heart and was pleased with the amount I had remembered, as I only made a few strange slip-ups like saying ‘miss pronoucing my name’ instead of ”miss pronoucing my words’.  What was weird is that I was really shakey as well, like, even my legs were shaking! I’ve never really done that so it was a bit annoying!  I think I was a bit more nervous as I usually recognise more people in the crowd, and also, I think I feel more comfortable when I have my mates there for support.

I think Suli Breaks was next, if I remember correctly. I’ve seen him a few times before so knew he was gonna be good.  He was really entertaining and funny, and didn’t need bits of paper like me!  I was a bit ashamed I didn’t know what ‘crepes’ meant, but then again, there is a reason I get emails from Urban Dictionary.  Me and slang don’t go so well together, so I need the emails so I can at least know what’s going on around me haha, one of my mates once even said I’m ‘far too middle class, darling’ to say the word ‘sick’.

I think Fran Landesman was afterwards, and I LOVE her, as I’ve seen her lots at Farrago shows.  She’s a bit of a celebrity really!  Here’s the only picture I managed to take before my batteries ran out:

I think Niall Spooner-Harvey was up next.  I’ve seen him loads at Farrago shows and think he’s great, so is always a pleasure to see him, especially after such a long time as I got to hear a whole load of new stuff!

It was good to hear AF Harrold again, as I couldn’t take it all in as well as I would have liked before.  The only thing I would say is that, he probably would have sold more books if he’d read larger sections of his novel, the small sections were funny a few times but it didn’t get the message across.  My experience with Penned in the Margins has told me that a big part of selling the books lays with the actual author… not to mention the lack of royalities you end up with!  Anyway, John-Paul kept going on about reading the last poem, ‘Cats Are Better Than Fish’ and I have to say, I did enjoy it!

The slam itself was really fun, though I really wanted to have the scorecards and didn’t.  There were a few people that stood out, but sadly I can’t remember all their names.  One was Amy Acre, who I had been blown away by at the Glam Slam a few weeks ago, and although the MySpace I have linked doesn’t have much on it at the moment, she told me she’s planning to get some stuff up there so keep your eyes peeled!  Also, Hannah Eiseman-Renyard, who had been in the Feminist Midsummer Party audience and also went to UEA – I especially liked her last one about being a female writer.  A guy called Joshua Morris also walked past me and said he liked my set, he performed in the slam and was pretty good himself, but I feel like he’s an actor… not that that’s a bad thing! I wish I had more acting experience myself.  I was pretty chuffed he said that anyway, purely because I thought he was good looking haha!  He was directly in my eyeline as well (they always are) so I got a bit worried I was looking at him too much, what a loser haha!  At the end a woman also asked me for my email to join some sort of poetry social network thing, called JotSpeak which I have joined.  Already someone commented saying ‘Oh wow I saw you last night! I remember thinking you looked like Kate Nash… and sounded a bit like her too. Really liked your set ;-)’

I’m a bit wary of Kate Nash comparisons, since someone made a negative comment once, acting like I was a “wannabe”, although I told them I’ve actually got a poem mocking that kind of judgement and I changed their mind – yay!  There’s only been a couple of people that have compared me to her before that, one being a friend who is also an ex-boyfriend of mine, who told my friend (also his cousin) that he thought I looked like Kate Nash (and he loves her up so it pretty much meant he fancied me… how primary school haha).  The other was a friend of a friend I met once.  Oh! And an old friend thinks I have similar mannerisms after seeing an interview of her.  I guess when people say it, it reminds me of the ex, and so it’s a bit complicated, but obviously I want to be myself.  I certainly don’t think I sound like her though, I’m from the total opposite end of London haha.

I think it’s so easy for people to be compared to Kate Nash, because she’s just a normal girl, and that’s her whole philosophy and why so many can relate to her.  I like her for these reasons, and listening to her still makes me feel happy, and that’s what it’s all about.  So I’m not complaining about any comparisons!

Wow, that’s taken way longer than I thought! I was doing it whilst watching Dragon’s Den (well want to go to that Vintage shop with yummy cakes and stuff!) so it slowed me down.  I feel really in need of water as well!

I’m off with my parents to eat at Strada and see Toy Story 3, so excited!

xxx

PoetryJam at The Tea Box, Richmond

Poetry Gigs

Okay… the two videos I did (the one above and my new video blog) makes me sound like Emily from Skins… I think… well, I sound like I have a bit of a lisp.  I don’t have a lisp so that’s quite strange… maybe it’s cos after Hop Farm my camera got a bit fucked whilst listening to The Ruskins.

I really enjoyed this night anyway! I went with a guy I met earlier that day, called Greg, and he made me drink more than I wanted to, so I was probably a bit drunk.  I got a laugh at the right point – yaaay!!  And a woman told me she could listen to me all night which is majorly flattering! One of the hosts, Alan Wolfson, let me do another one as well and came up and said he loved my set 😀

My personal life is a bit out of control at the moment, so at least I have my poetry.  I’ve just been practicing my set for my feature next week in the bath, whispering so my parents don’t hear me haha… I can’t believe how close it is! Looks like I’ll be under-rehearsed yet again, grrr!

I did actually practice the other day and knew most of the set off by heart, but it’s unlikely in reality. I hope some of my friends come to see me.

xxx

Underground Challenge: Inspire a Stranger

Inspiration

For the Underground Challenge: Inspire a Stranger I decided to do poems in envelopes, because I was too shy to do much more – when I tried to hand out flyers for the LitSoc Spring Ball, I chickened out and left them in Tesco near the Clubcards.  Plus, I sometimes get grumpy on public transport, and this day was frustrating as I missed my train, and so I guess I did something in the way that I would want it.  There’s nothing worse when you’re in a bad mood than an elasticated- stretched-out-smile or a ‘cheer-up’ all smug spitting from lips.

Anyway, I got back from seeing The Ruskins and all that jazz (well, actually, more folk) at Hop Farm festival on Sunday – the day before the Inspire a Stranger Day.  The weekend was pretty messy, and I’d had basically no sleep, so I chopped out the poems I’d printed out, whilst wondering why I didn’t just hand write them, and used sellotape to stick them onto paper, signed them and threw in some Ruskins stickers as an extra unrelated bonus to the poems, and stuffed them into envelopes.

 I’m currently listening to Hollie McNish’s ‘Push Kick’, and just realised she has a bit of a Northern twang.  Anyway, it’s a really interesting album, at the moment I can’t relate to the subject matter but I can only hope one day I get to experience the emotions she presented so wonderfully and honestly in such a range of poems.

Anyway, I better go and have a bath, because I’m not ashamed to say I need to do it in time to watch Big Brother!

xxx

Speech Motion at The Horse & Groom, Shoreditch

Poetry Gigs

So, I had a great time at this one. I was on pretty early and so got to enjoy the rest of the night properly, was wicked seeing Dean Atta, The Ruby Kid and Poeticat in particular, makes me want my own Cajon player haha! The only musicians I know are like the ruskins and my ex boyfriend… and I don’t think the ruskins would be up for starting a poetry side-project, and I don’t think my ex is up for being a a poetry band called “The Exes”… I think that name’s taken anyways!

After I went to get more drinks for me and my mate Elliot, a couple said how they liked my set and I chatted to them for a bit, and they were really nice.  SuperPennie chatted to me for a bit as well, and said how she likes London accents, and that my accent gets more “London” when I read my poems.

I found this a funny thing to say cos I’ve grown up in London, therefore I have a London accent… I think she meant it gets stronger… but in what sense? My voice isn’t cockney and it’s not really posh (though my cockney mates may disagree… compared my my grans proper posh accent!)  So yeah, my accent isn’t strong in anyway, plus I’m softly spoken a lot of the time… but when I do poetry or get angry my emotions come out and my words have more force I guess?

My accent is very similar to the friends I grew up with in south london, where I still half live haha.  One of my friends said my voice is like Leona Lewis, which I don’t mind, she seems like a nice girl.  I think my singing voice is most similar to Laura Marling… but I base that on the fact that I think I can sing her songs and not sound totally shit haha.  But yeah, basically this is just my voice, I don’t like it all the time but that’s just the way it is.

Anyway, that comment just got me thinking.  I really enjoyed the format of the night and the cool short films they showed, some were quite weird, but I like weird!  I also remembered I added Ruby Kid on my MySpace and he commented he liked my stuff.  I feel a bit weird when meeting people in those situations who you’ve like communicated with online.  I felt like such a dick when he let me pass through on the stairs and I didn’t say anything!

All in all, it was a good night and I hope to go again!
xxx