Category: Poetry Gigs

Personal reviews of my own poetry performances

It’s Who You Know

Poetry Gigs

I recently came back from Peterborough where I had been to the Poetry Rivals Slam.  It was a sunny day, which always helps, and overall it was fun, despite my stressing about getting the last train because I’d been given a late slot.  I was given a nice pack off stuff, including this certificate, where sadly my name was spelt wrong.

So, the Under 18s section was first, though it seemed I was one of the few people from the adult’s section that was there as the room disappeared afterwards.  It ranged from the cute to more impressive stuff.  I chatted to one of their grandad’s who seemed nice, and pretty cool, cool being he had an earring and rode motorbikes haha!

I went to eat at Ask where I had booked a table beforehand in case… being Saturday… it was busy.  It wasn’t.  The staff there were really friendly and I talked to them about what I was doing in Peterborough.  I managed to eat a whole garlic pizza bread and mushroom & chicken risotto, despite my paranoia that there may have been some cheese in it.

My favourite poets from Under 18s slam were Eddy Telford (the grandson) and Nicole Edwards.  Though I didn’t see them all because I went to eat dinner and wanted to make sure I was back for the adult slam.  My favourites in that were Thommie Gillow (who spoke to me and was lovely), Dorothy Beaumont (one of the older contestants who did a beautiful poem to her husband with great dancing imagery), Rochelle Logan-Rogers (who did a great performance of a piece written for Love Music Hate Racism) and Richard Castle (who though rather mumbley and mono-tone, I think I caught some really strong lines and ideas in his poems).  The winner was Stephen Watt, and I was surprised as I couldn’t remember his poem but asked my mum to read it from the book in London and it refreshed my memory and I thought was quite a nice idea with the rubix cube image.  I’m not sure I would have decided on him myself but it was really hard to judge, as the judges said, and I don’t know who I’d have picked.

It was disappointing not winning but I didn’t exactly expect to, and after my reading (which went okay, with one annoying slip up, and maybe a bit rushed and static) I didn’t feel I was going to at all.  I don’t feel ready anyway.  One of the things I want to concentrate on, after my dissertation hand-in in about 3 weeks, is poems for possible publication.

I get annoyed at not being accepted into magazines but I really need to do it constantly.  It’s just hard keeping track of all the dates of stuff, so I have a document trying to organise it but I’m still getting rejected loads, so how can I progress to a chapbook or proper collection?

I’m currently listening to the Gipsy Kings but there’s a few more things I was going to write before this blog post.  They’re not really relevent to poetry, but they are about my life, which some people might find more interesting than repetitive notes on poetry gigs!  I also didn’t record this performance so, no video.

Anyway, I’ve been busy dancing and attempting at drinking in moderation (going well since the cart-wheel incident) as well as doing my dissertation and creative writing work.  I’m also going to be UEA London Correspondent to the Feminist Society next year!  In relation to that, when I went out on Tuesday night someone pinched my bum, and then I later got talking to a guy who said he was gay.  These are things we’ve been talking about in the discussion group (it’s soon to be a society)… the idea that some men think it is acceptable to violate a woman in ways such as pinching bums (though we’ve been talking about more “cat-calling” in the street situations) and also things like The Game when it comes to relationships… pretending to be gay being one of these tactics.  The guy in question here called me “stunning” and then said “if I wasn’t gay…” and that I had even managed to “attract a gay guy”.  I don’t want to be cynical, he was very sweet and seemed to think I genuinely deserved to have a nice boyfriend… but the point I’m making is that because of these “games” it means women have to be wary to trust others, and also… if I am attractive… so what?  Why should I be defined on my physical appearance?  I can’t complain, because if that was the case, I’m clearly not defined by what I look like. I’m judged far more for being slightly unhinged, intense and too honest for my own good, hence coming across *shock horror* desperate.  Which, I’m not.  It takes a lot for me to like a guy but I usually end up ruining things when i actually do give a shit because I come across too keen.  It’s funny.  Anyway, these things are interesting to think about.

Which brings me to my last point.  I knew half the judges on the panel tonight.  But they thought Mr. Watt’s poetry was better, so he won.  We’re always being told “it’s who you know” but this proves… it’s not who you know.  Unless those particular people secretly hate me.

*Yawn* I’m ready for bed!

xxx

Don’t Cart-wheel on Broken Glass

Poetry Gigs

Last Thursday night LitSoc put on an event with CWS… though actually I think only one of our collaborators was there.  Anyway, this is possibly the last event we’re going to put on, but I’m hoping to put on another one.  I really want to pay the performers but I don’t think we have enough money… maybe on the next!

Anyway, we had to host as a committee (apart from Helen because she doesn’t like public speaking) because our host pulled out last-minute… very unprofessional haha.  We started off with a CWS open mic but the only member that came had to go away for something and so there wasn’t really any of their input but whatever.  I was the “sacrificial poet” first in the open mic and we had a decent number of people get up to read.

The night consisted of Catherine Woodward, followed by Grenouilles, and I was meant to go on then but I cut my set out so the night would run more smoothly (hence why I did the open mic instead).  Then Greta Healy and Hannah Walker gave us some poetry, and Robyn Comfort began with poetry and moved onto music.

Ending the night was Russell J Turner, Ashley Johnston, and Tim Clare.  I was really happy with how the evening went down, but I think I’m getting a bit too comfortable in my university bubble because I had rather too much wine to drink.  I stupidly left mid-way through Tim Clare’s set because a couple of friends were going out and apparently it was a “now or never” situation.  I feel really stupid and guilty for leaving and really regret it.  It’s something I’d be totally against when sober and if Captain of the Rant saw me that night, he’d be saying “now who’s rude? now who’s the dickhead?! hmmm?!”

I guess I got what I deserved.  I ended up at “Nowhere” and somehow was dancing on my own, wondering where one of the people I came with had gone but figuring I may as well just enjoy myself until we were reunited.  I had an urge at the beginning of the night to do a cart-wheel but we were busy setting up so I didn’t.  You better believe repressed urges will come out.  I decided to use an empty space to do a cart-wheel.  Now, this is something I would do sober as well, and have memories of doing it at kid’s birthday parties in my childhood, so I don’t know if I can entirely blame the alcohol for… maybe I can blame the club, or the dark lighting.

Anyway, I did the cart-wheel and I did it on a load of broken glass.  My hand got cut first and so I fell onto the floor and hurt my knee.  I was really embarrassed and rushed to the bar where I told them my hand really hurt and that I “thought” it was bleeding.  I looked down and there was blood going everywhere (including my lovely dress… it’s okay guys, it came out in the wash, thank god! It’s vintage you see).  I was taken to the back room and they got the first aid kit out and bandaged me up, but the guy said that if I cared what my knee looked like I needed to go to A&E.  I remember being quite casual about it because I didn’t think that I needed more than what he’d done, and I didn’t really want to go but him saying that obviously freaked me out…  I didn’t really want a deformed knee.

So… memory blank… somehow I got there.  Taxi I guess.  I waited for 3 hours and had nothing to do.  I had left my poetry and my iPod at the LitSoc event.  I wasted loads of texts and even tried calling my dad, and a friend I’d planned to call at the weekend.  It was past 2am so I didn’t get through.  I bought some crisps and a cookie from a machine.  I felt so depressed and lonely and just sat there for hours until I got so frustrated with everyone being seen apart from me that I started crying.  Not noticeably, just silently to myself.  I just wanted my parents there but they are in London and I am in Norwich.

Eventually I was seen and it was revealed it was a complete waste of time.  I didn’t even need stitches.  They just washed my hand (which had been previously glued) and then put these strips on my knee (which my dad said were butterfly stitches, but still… not proper stitches).  I got an expensive taxi home for £8 and when I arrived at mine at like 5am, the guy wouldn’t stop talking about how Shakespeare doesn’t exist.  I mean, bless him, but at 5am I just wanted to go to sleep before attempting at my busy day whilst being all tired and hungover.

It’s my housemate, Kristy’s birthday today so we’ve just made her fairy cakes and put them on this amazing cake stand we got her from Notty Green.  I’ve been listening to Funeral for a Friend’s new album Welcome Home Armageddon and it’s great!  More like the old stuff, wooo!  It’s been sunny and I’ve been wearing pink jeans and been in a good mood considering my preoccupation with a guy that doesn’t feel the same as me and general loneliness that creeps over me sometimes.  And random waves of panic about my life in general.  Anyway, before I start getting too personal and bitching about other stuff that’s annoying me, I’ll end.

xxx

Bare Feet Cabaret

Poetry Gigs

Right, I’m going to attempt to make this short and sweet but it’s not something I find easy to do but I’d really love to do a bit more of my dissertation and also need to do ironing and washing up and make a packed lunch tonight as I won’t have time for dinner (I had dinner at lunch though… SCALLOPS! left over mixed beans and French Stick drizzled with olive oil and scattered with salt YUM!)

Okay, so I was gutted Liam Parkin had to pull out of his set because it was a bit of a surprise to me he was even doing it, as he’s part of the LitSoc committee and he’s never mentioned it!  I was on second… I’m not sure what the first guy’s name was but he reminded me of the bands I used to see when I was a teenager (God, that’s weird to say) and I also got an email from this thing where a lot of these old bands were on and I can’t find anything on Facebook about them so they’re probably all finished.  Anyway, I knew/recognised all the front row which was a bit weird, Josh seemed to be occupied with a carrier bag for most of the night but it made for later jokes and he waited to have his cigarette until after me, yay!  Even though I was doing a lot of performance stylee stuff.  I wasn’t in the mood in the day so was glad I got into it when I was there.

Billy Hallett was good, I suppose… haha, but he has just pulled out of the LitSoc event that’s tonight so I can’t find many kind words for him at the moment.  He had lots of friends there though and I had, like, one, so that was good.  Josh read his poetry but he’d said he wasn’t really in the mood and you could tell, though the kind of blasé way can be part of the charm.  I just like listening to the words, it’s nice.

The other poet that was on was Tabby Farrar.  Josh had looked her up on Google, and pictures of her on the Font Magazine website.  I thought it was a shame that these pictures came up before her poetry as I’m all for making money from it, but if poetry is your passion, personally I would find it disappointing if that were the case for me.  Then again, maybe she doesn’t have much online presence (I think I’m on A LOT of websites).  The pictures were hot though!  I think I’m a little bit jealous; the pictures online seem pretty fucking cool, but I wasn’t even that great at modelling with my clothes all on the one time I tried it and would love to have the confidence to attempt at being “sexy” rather than constantly smiling (or the occasional pout when drunk).  Then again, maybe if I was 17 pounds lighter and had breasts 3 cup sizes bigger, and two inches taller, MAYBE I would be more confident.  There’s no way I would be able to lie on my back because I would look like a flabby man. Ha! Anyway, on the night, Tabby reminded me a bit of a mix between me when I was younger and someone I know from home.  I started off doing lots of poems about sex (or rather about dancing but alluding to sex, as I didn’t actually have sex until I was 19) and drinking and guys… and I still do, but I try to expand more.  She spoke to me in the interval and was very sweet and complimentary about my set.

A couple of Canadian people spoke to me as well.  One of which was a guy called Devon, and although he didn’t have his band with him, his solo act was great and I could imagine it would be even more amazing with his bandmates and without the guitar crackling problems.  He referred to a ‘she poet’ in his set, which Tabby assumed was her at first, probably from her friends saying it though… I wouldn’t have assumed it was me anyway… BUT turns out it was her because he went up to her and I had to approach him.  Oh well, I got a second-hand download voucher, wow, looks like it has 13 tracks, nice one!  Adam Warne, a comedy act, was hilarious!  The night ended on The Woodland Creatures, who were in the same vein as The Middle Ones, and yet unique in their own right and that was lovely to finish on.

I then went to queue up for Lola Lo’s to meet my housemates, but after half an hour I gave up.  Probably for the best as I’m going to be super productive now!  I just need to pick the poems I’m going to read tonight…

xxx

Carmina of the Rant

Poetry Gigs

I am bursting to say what I did not earlier.  I’m writing this at one in the morning but will post it the next day with the appropriate video.

[Edit: Please remember I was pretty drunk when writing this]

Firstly, I have been accepted onto the Creative Entrepreneurship MA at UEA London!  I didn’t know what to expect, felt it could go either way… my housemate Jordi told me via Facebook that the letter was at our house but I was in London.  In case I didn’t get on, I waited until I got back to Norwich, and with my stupid shoes cutting through my flesh I rushed from bus stop to door and tore open the letter.  I was happy.  I am happy.  It’s a peak, but there are still troughs and that happiness is still temporary.  (That’s actually a reference to that day’s Loose Women… oh dear!)  However, I would be devastated if I didn’t get on.

I’m currently listening to Jessie J’s album and I am increasingly irritated.  She has switched from earlier work into an Americanized accent and it pisses me off.  She sounds so much better natural.  Clearly forgetting her roots… and as soon as Price Tag, the first track, plays, it is clearly bullshit.  She has stated in Style magazine that one of her mottos is to ‘don’t cater for the handful, cater for the masses’ which just is the total opposite of what the lyrics in that song seem to say.  She has a good voice, her songs are good, so why put on some fake accent?  America = the masses = money money money. Bring back the mandem, that’s what I say.

Anyway, tonight.  Despite being tired I went to Word of Mouth.  I feel like I need to do anything I can to expose my poetry.  I knew all the acts and the one I was most impressed with (and during the Christmas holidays I gigged at the same place as him and headline act Pete The Temp) was… Captain of the Rant.  To be honest, I couldn’t remember Pete’s act that much and while this time, I do appreciate he was entertaining, I wasn’t sure he was actually a ‘poet’ but he did do at least one good poem… I would call him more of a comedy act though.

The open mic afterwards was good to do, but the main thing for me was that Captain of the Rant and his friends ruined it for me.  A guy I know from UEA’s CWS ranted about the Captain himself, calling him ‘Captain of the Fuckface’ or something… anyway, I was glad, he deserved it and I’d hoped he felt bad, but him and his mates kept on chatting.  As I was impressed with his act both times I’d seen him, I was disappointed in him and I was just gutted to be honest, absolutely gutted.  Amy Wragg commented it was an open mic and that ‘some people pay attention, and some people don’t’ but personally, I think that’s a load of bollocks!  It’s just rude to talk over spoken word, open mic or not. [Edit: Okay, yes, that’s my opinion but if you argue that one has the right to ignore what’s going on, then I argue it’s my right to be pissed off.  However, I just gave a lot of drunken evil eyes.  Listening back to the YouTube video, I think I attempted to make a point by almost screaming some of Claymore.]

[Edit: I have removed a small section because although I found it funny, it could be misinterpreted as rude]

In the words of Scroobius Pip “thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you’ve done your shitty little poem or song, you self-righteous prick.”  I know part of the meaning is that these are things we do… but the main thing is to take it on board.  I’m sure talking through other people’s poems (no matter how shitty they are) is included in this sentiment.  I’m understanding more than ever that when you want to do what you enjoy as a career it can become like a chore… I came to this night because I felt I should, rather than because I really wanted to go.  So, I can understand just going and doing you’re bit, but I don’t want to be like that.  I tend to like to make a night of these things by drinking but I know I’ll have to do less of that the more often I do it… financially and health-wise.  I don’t want that to mean I leave early, I want to stay as long as I can and not forget the places that I came from.

I also got annoyed talking to a friend.  Not because of what they said per say, as they are interesting to talk and debate with… but in terms of my own questioning who I am and what I do. I was told at a Farrago event at the start of the year about an event that’s more for “page poets” and I was offended at the implication that I wasn’t good enough to be considered a performance poet.  Then again, this friend thinks I’m more of a performance poet and that not many of my poems are fit for the page… hence the magazine rejections, I guess.  I do like fitting into both categories, and maybe that’s part of the danger, but it saddens me to be told I don’t fit in either… that I’m not good enough for either.

So, I am happy about my MA… I feel I have direction now and I like that, I like setting goals and ticking things off.  I just need to get some money for it!  Please somebody fund me!  I’m trying to look it as an investment!  Anyway, yes, I’m happy but as always, nothing is good enough… I have to push forward still, and things are still pissing me off, things are still getting me down, my heart is still broken, my body is still alone at night and my poetry was about mental illness tonight, so what do you expect?

Okay, so I’m going to stop listening to this album now.  Stopping it on Who’s Laughing Now which is a good track because it’s personal, which I like, and it’s clear despite the stupid fake accent, she can sing.  Also, a lot of the stuff in the Style article was pretty cool, and her speech at the Brits was amazing.  She seems like a nice girl, and to me… talent and personality… that’s what’s important right? 

respect

The Captain has since apologised and can have his hat back.

xxx

Farrago Heartbreak(er)

Poetry Gigs

Last night I went to Farrago at the RADA bar, and had bagged myself a feature.  My train was delayed and I didn’t know when I was on, but I didn’t stress myself about it because last time the show started at 8pm.  I was pleased with my set but wished I slowed down a bit.  The time is usually quite tight at Farrago, so it was probably better in this case to be quick so I didn’t have to cut my poems short.  I was quite surprised at some of the noises the crowd made because I guess it just seems so natural to me, but I did deal with some emotional matters with a kind of raw honesty.  I’m glad some people laughed at the last poem, ‘Lullaby’ because I see it as a kind of tragi-comedy poem about the ridiculous patterns of thought when you’re infactuated with someone, and wanting them to like you and hoping they feel the same way when they don’t.  It was inspired by reading Sarah Kane and listening to Regina Spektor’s song of the same title… although for some reason I only have half the song. 

A girl I met through an ex boyfriend came to perform again.  I think I may have mentioned she came to the Tea Box gig as she’s trying to get into the poetry circuit.  Her name’s Harriet Cramer and she’s soon going to get a collection published, so watch this space!

Quite a few people came up to me and asked for any websites etc. which was really cool!  The second time someone has asked if I have anything published!  To be honest, I still get rejected from most magazines, and have never tried to get a collection published.  I don’t think I’m ready but I hope to be at that stage after the MA in Creative Entrepreneurship – if I get onto it!  I need to go through my mass of poems to pick out the best.  I also like the idea of working with a theme.  Visually, I want it to be a cross between Laura Dockrill’s Mistakes in the Background, and Courtney Love’s Dirty Blonde.  I’d love to have a more plain collection as well… oh to be a Faber New Poet!

I was also introduced on stage for a second time as something like ‘the angel of heartbreak’ which I was very embarrassed and uncomfortable about.  I had to introduce the winner or the special heartbreak(er) prize – a pick-up line generator, Patrick Hearn.  He said ‘see you at the pub after?’ which added to my embarrassment but I did what I usually do in those situations and giggled like a little girl, which is probably why people think it’s normal to call me an angel and are shocked at some of the things that come out of my mouth haha!  But, hey, it’s just a shyness thing and it’s part of who I am so, irritating as it is, it is how I shall probably stay!

xxx

Spoken Word Seduction – Valentine’s Day

Poetry Gigs

I spent my Valentine’s eve at this open mic.  I went alone, as you can see from the camera angle here.  I wasn’t much in the mood for drinking Foster’s again so started off with some vodka in still lemonade, yum! However, the vodka at the bar was double the price of pints so I went for the cheaper option.

My set was a bitter re-telling of recent romantic failures.  I may have broken both sides of my heart now but at least I can turn these into attempts at poetry.  Writing a poem for your boyfriend (and yes, I’ve done the lovely dovey ‘I’ve never been more happy than this, when you tell me I’m beautiful and give me a kiss’ poetry dedications) may affect them momentarily, but tales of heartbreak will always resonate with more people because I think most people have had mad/sad/bad experiences with love.

I spent the day watching unattractive males walk around with roses and other such bunches of flowers.  I think there’s probably only one guy that ever knew I would rather a packet of seeds fo Antirrhinum flowers, although he would know them only by the name snapdragon, has probably forgotten and doesn’t care for me.  I sent this guy a Valentine’s card as one last shot to make something happen.  However, I accidentally sent it to my parent’s address which is my billing address.  I sent him a text but he didn’t reply.  Time to move on.

I went speed dating the night before, and although the layout was pretty bad (it was like a school canteen, with the girl’s moving along) and you had to shout to be heard in the roar of noise… well, it was really fun!  I went with a frex of mine and so it’s pretty cool we can do that together.  I have ZERO female single friends.  Anyway, I put down about 8 guys names and got 4 matches, so that’s not bad.

I ended Valentine’s Day by walking home from town as I got a 35 bus and didn’t know where to get off.  I took a detour through the park and, slightly inebriated, I ran up the steps to the slide and went down it.  I ended up with on my knees, ripping my dress.  It was probably the best way to end up in that position really.

xxx

LitSoc Celebration & Social

Poetry Gigs

The other day I organised a small event with LitSoc in one of the UEA common rooms.  It went even better than the last time we did it as we had a pretty crowded room of maybe about 30 or more people.  No microphones or anything, just the room filled with fairy-lights, lamps, cushions etc.

The first act was a guy called Joe, I’m not sure of his surname, but he was pretty good.  Catherine Woodward read some of her published poems, some written when she was between 16 and 18!  It was so good, even if she doesn’t like it anymore and no longer believes in free verse. 

After a break, Joshua Fisher came on and he was amazing! I don’t know if it was if the room was cold (we later found the heaters on in the room next door, not ours) but it gave me shivers!  His voice has so much range and the words were beautiful.  I was next and I did a few new ones, that are now old because I’ve edited them for my creative writing class.  I also read an extract from Sarah Kane’s 4.48 Psychosis.  I’m reading all her plays now, she’s so fucking great, I love her writing.  I wanted to read more but would need to scream and get properly into it and not be reading it from a book.  Robyn Comfort ended the section with some of her lovely poetry and we took another break and saw a couple of other sign-ups.

The remaining people then enjoyed a really great performance of a poem from Pavel Goncarov, someone in my creative writing class.  Billy Hallett ended the night with some comedy and we began clearing up the empty wine bottles and washing plastic plates and bowls.

I got the bus just on time and so it was a pretty perfect night. Although, at one point, when Catherine was reading, I suddenly felt really lonely.  I thought that was strange, but it passed.  I just have this need for comfort and company at the moment, with Valentine’s approaching, I can only hope for someone to occasionally fall into my bed to hold for a bit and then rant my anti-love poems until anything resembling reality appears.  I also just saw I Love Philip Morris which was a heart-wrenching tragi-comedy, that I didn’t realise was based on a true story until the end.  I’m now off to see a preview of Never Let Me Go.

xxx

Verbal Detox CWS Open Mic

Poetry Gigs

Monday I did the open mic and my friend Laura came along with me which was nice.  The theme was ‘detox’ and we were encouraged to show the “new you” so I did all new material, including one about my new haircut, whilst wearing a new dress, just £2 from primark! However I didn’t get any of the prize potatoes, so had to ask for some at the end as I do love potatoes!

A couple of girls came up to me and said how much they liked my set and said how they felt the words I spoke, which was great to hear because of it being new material, and that’s kind of the aim of what I do.  I want people to understand and feel what I feel, like when you hear songs that just speak to you.

There were all the usual performers really, apart from one girl at the start who was good but brought one REALLY irritating and, quite frankly, rude friend.  She was constantly texting, eating, talking, laughing and had her back to the performers all night.  I thought maybe she was going out after and just there for pre-drinks because her friends were there, but I noticed her change from heels to flats.  It was just weird, I couldn’t help thinking WHY IS SHE HERE?!

John Simpson Wedge was doing a ‘feature’ set and it was the best he’d ever performed.  There was a lot of variety, as he ventured away from the comedy and did an amazing serious prose piece, and then a Coolio parody which was funny.

Me and Laura ended up accidentally going out and went to Havana’s.  It was fun but I didn’t want to drink as much as I did.  It was good to meet some guys from The Birdcage but on the dance floor I was astounded at the disgusting behaviour from men in there.  There was a big group of guys that just dominated an area and it just felt really unpleasant and predatory.  At one point two of them came up to me and started to try to “dance” with me from in front and behind and I was creeped out and got them to move away, or rather, I just moved away.  There were a group of scary guys that kept asking for a dance and then when we said no, they asked if we spoke English, and also asked if we would dance with their uncle, who was an elderly, short man.  They followed us when we moved away, another guy even tried to keep one away from us.  They attempted to touch Laura from behind and I told them to back off.  Later, we saw they were leaving and glad, they walked past as and one pinched my bum so I pushed him away and felt incredibly angry.  He turned to me in a threatening manner and I shouted not to touch me.  They left but it ruined the night a bit and we decided to leave and got chips.  We talked whilst waiting for the bus but didn’t get home until 4.30am.  So I was pretty tired the next day!

Anyway, that’s about it.  DJ set at The Birdcage tomorrow with Kristy and our laptops haha.

xxx

Dead Poets and HEADcrash

Poetry Gigs

Dead Poets were at Word of Mouth on Monday.  I’d never heard them before and they were great, such a good show! It over-ran by half an hour and I didn’t even notice the time.  So, the After Hours open mic didn’t happen til near to 11pm I think, and I didn’t read until around an hour or so later.  I didn’t know I was going until I saw that it was on about five mins before I had to leave so I grab three poems.  I regretted the poems I picked but still it went okay, and Mixy from Dead Poets said he liked it so can’t complain!

A couple of days later I did a gig at HEADcrash at The Birdcage.  I noticed me and my housemate’s face were on flyers for the DJing we’re doing next week which was pretty funny/cool.  I was on just before Tim Clare, so was the penultimate act.  I felt okay as I had a lot of familiar faces and I know the venue well and I enjoyed my performance.

As I’ve seen most of the acts before I thought I’d just mention a couple of names.  Bethan Williams was my favourite poet of the night; I thought her set was very well thought-out and whatever she says, she is pretty and intelligent!  Dan McKee was really funny as well, though he did comedy rather than poetry, it’s always nice to have a laugh.  Tim Clare obviously did a great set… a massive contrast to my own, and he did the one about crazzzzyyyy yeah! Errrm…

Another performer, Andy Bennett came up and gave me some advice, in a really nice way.  I’ll have to take it on board because it was actually the second time I’d got both pieces of advice in a fortnight!  He said that I knew my poems too well to use the paper security blanket, and to speak slower at times.  At The Tea Box gig, Vanessa said I should do my poems by heart, and Anna said she wished she could hear Roots slowed down, so yes, I will take these things on board, they’re kind of things I want to progress too, I guess it’s just more clear now that it’s actually possible.  However, I will probably read some new stuff on next Monday’s open mic so that’s my excuse!

xxx

PoetryJam Feature at The Tea Box, Richmond

Poetry Gigs

After some standard Nando’s with my friend Hannah, we met up with Kim and Matt to go to The Tea Box.  I had a group of about ten others that were meant to come but they were too late and couldn’t all fit in so they went to the pub instead.  I saw a few familiar faces which was nice and I met Anna Le who was really lovely and the perfect host, as well as performing some brilliant poetry.  It was amazing how she thought of something to say about everybody’s poetry!

I had one glass of wine at Nando’s but after three nights of drinking, I didn’t feel like it and switched to water, especially as my mouth was gonna get pretty dry from a 20min set!   I’d felt quite hungover in the morning as I’d had one pint too many – think it was about 5 pints.  I’ve drunk double that before so it could have been worse I suppose!

I was on in the second third.  Just before it I was approached by someone who asked if I was Carmina.  I had a hunch who it was when he said he’d sent me emails.  I thought he was going to be nice and friendly, but as it wasn’t quite the encounter I’d hoped for I won’t be naming names.  I had meant to go to the event he puts on the night before but because I’d got this gig the next day I thought I’d just try to go another time.  I hadn’t seen my friend for months and needed a proper catch up where we could talk a good few hours, so I did that instead.  I was apologetic that I hadn’t gotten round to going, and do intend to as soon as I can.  I just seem to do the wrong thing without meaning to.  He said he thought it was rude I hadn’t replied to emails he’d sent, though I thought I was just added to the mailing list and didn’t need to respond.  I HATE making mistakes, and being wrong and anything that puts me in a bad light basically… so I felt horrible, and he made me feel so small.  I couldn’t even end the conversation properly because I was about to cry and so just said ‘okay’ and dashed back to my friends.  I had to breath and take some time before speaking so I didn’t end up crying, and told them what happened.  I managed to feel a bit better, but it was at the back of my mind the whole night.

Anyway, I was happy with my set.  I tried my best, but I go through stages when I’m at the mic… first I feel a bit nervous, then I get into it and I’m okay, and THEN I start thinking I’ve been speaking for a long time, get worried people are getting tired or bored and so it sometimes causes me to rush through it.  I’d planned 20mins and it ended up a bit under, so taking the clapping into account, I probably did rush a bit.  However, I took sips of water now and again, my mouth was so dry!

My friends left by the end of that section and then a poet I met previously at the Tea Box turned up at the last five seconds of my set, so he came to sit with me, and managed to do the open mic as well, with a really good poem about inventions.  There were so many amazing performers that night, I am going to try to get a list off Anna as it would be good to look them up online.  I loved Vanessa’s performance again, and did a great one about “pretty girls” haha.  I recognised a girl who read some really funny poems and I thought they said her name was ‘Harrie’ so I was thinking it might be her, and then she came up to me and it was her!  I met her a few times through my first boyfriend (the only one I don’t keep in contact with… ’cause well, he was a bit of a dick with me before, during and after our relationship), but she is lovely and it was good to see her so hopefully will see her in future.  It was her first time doing it so was nice to be there, and says she’ll probably come every month now.

Anyway, what else is there to say… it was pretty funny having flyers with my face on every table, I think the photo was about 3 years old though so I look a bit different now since my hair has changed about 3 times since then.  I got a few people come up to me and say they liked my set etc.  One woman was even surprised I wasn’t published!  Mike, who organised the event, got me to autograph a flyer, I’m not sure what/who for but that was pretty cool.  “Jazz Man John” asked the “youngest” table who wrote Howl and gave them a free CD.  I would have liked it, and I knew the answer but though I’m 21 and didn’t think they were much younger, I didn’t think I was included in it so didn’t say.  I once went to a celebration of Howl and Allen Ginsberg in general which was really cool.

I had to rush to get my train and got it literally JUST in time, so I wasn’t home too late to see my parents and chat to them about it a bit.  Right, I think that’s it.  Back to Norwich in a bit.  Got a gig at the Birdcage on Wednesday 19th.

xxx