Month: August 2010

JawDance: Apples & Snakes

Poetry Gigs

Last Wednesday I went to JawDance at Rich Mix in Shoreditch.  It was a few minutes away from where I go for my internship so I met my friend, Siobhan, at the station and we stolled around Brick Lane, and ate at Cafe 1001.  I arrived in good time and was about fifth on the open mic list.  The other performances were good, and there was a lot of variety of styles.

I enjoyed my set, and got a couple of compliments.  I got chatting to one girl, called Laila Sumpton, and I recognised her from my old dance class, Gemini Dancers and asked her name, and it was her.  She also knew fellow poet, Alain English – what a small world!  I also listened to the video again on the tube to see if you really could hear it, and you couldn’t really, apart from at the stops… so maybe not quite as embarrassing as I first thought.

On another note, I’ve finished Henry James, The Portait of a Lady.  It’s one of those books that is so beautifully written that it’s just a pleasure to read it.  It makes me feel like Henry James is reading to me as we sit by a fire in an old Victorian mansion.  The characters, especially Isabel, the lady in question, captured my interest entirely, and although due to my busy schedule I was unable to keep the pace of my reading, the story drew me in each time I picked up the book.  It’s wonderful when a book can truelly take you into another world and make you forget your own life for a while – that’s what this does.  At over 600 pages, I’m now ready to take on Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust for the second time.

I went to Thorpe Park yesterday and had so much fun that I implusively bought a “bounce back” ticket for a tenner so hopefully will get to go with a few of the friends that didn’t get to go this time.  I went to the gym for the first time in a while, maybe 2 weeks and it felt good to get some excercise done!  I’m going to go again tomorrow.  I weighed myself afterwards which was a mistake – 9 stone 11 pounds – which is basically my normal weight.  I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes I get it into my head that I’d like to get down toe 8 stone 7 pounds.  In reality, 9 stone 7 pounds would surfice, as I just want to sort out trouble areas like thighs, stomach and bingo wings, and a BMI of 22.8 would be fine (well, my current BMI is also fine) but 20.4 sounds so much better.  All this is silly to say anything about anyway, because the only reason I go to the gym is so I can stuff my face with things like yummy roast dinner and dark chocolate – which is what I’ll be doing later tonight 😀

And I think I’m going to have about 5 cans of Fosters tomorrow night (and that’s me trying to be sensible!) with a friend I haven’t seen since Hop Farm festival!  And I have Monday off work.  Looking forward to these next few days! Next open mic will be Needle & Thread in Herne Hill, at the Half Moon Pub.

xxx

Lady Fest Ten

Poetry Gigs

Last night I went to the Lady Fest poetry open mic event ‘So She Said’ at The Victoria in Mile End.  I went after work and grabbed a burger and wedges from Cafe 1001 (and a sneaky Carlsberg).  The features of the night were Chrissy Williams, Dzifa Benson and Liz Bentley.  Chrissy Williams I thought was okay but perhaps more of a “page” poet, given by her numerous publications of which I can only dream of being in currently.  If I remember correctly a lot of the poems involved dialogue, which I thought maybe was in order to fit in with the event title, which would have been a cool thing to do, if it was intentional.

My favourite feature was probably Dzifa Benson.  I usually find it more difficult to concentrate on the poet prior to going up myself, but I really liked her set, especially one she read about skin.  I was pleased with how my set went and the girl who went up after me (can’t remember her name, but she was good!) said she enjoyed my set.  She also told me she’d only started doing poetry readings a week or so ago!  Where have all these amazing poets come from that need like nooo practice to perform amazingly?  (Like Vanessa Kisuule, whose name I wanted to mention in my last Farrago post but am not sure if I did). I also was compared to Brigitte Aphrodite by, Nikki Shaill, one of the event organisers who approached me about contributing to the Lady Fest Zine.  I was really surprised by the comparison, but I don’t know maybe it’s the inflection in the voice when performing, expression of emotion or something.  I don’t have music in my act (yet!) but if I were to sum up Brigitte’s act, I would describe it as of the cockney music hall variety.  Maybe it was ’cause I was with my cockney-East-end-born&bred friend, Elliot Snook (soon to be happy-hardcore music producer, so he tells me).  I told my mum this and she said I sound “more cockney” when I read my poetry.  My own mother!  I was not impressed, I shall have to “get my posh on” in future, all these comparisons unnerve me; flattering as they are, as my friends are saying a lot these days ‘I love it, but it kinda makes me sick’.  I guess it’s because I like these people, but see myself as very different to them in so many ways… I guess I’ve always felt I can’t be put in a box (although I LOVE quizzes, you know the ones that try to put you in boxes).

OMG!  Two embarrassing things happened to me related to this night as well:

1.   I was on the tube and decided to watch the recording of my performance with my Ipod in, to see how long I was on for (which I found out after you can see without doing that).  My camera’s at the repair shop, so I was borrowing my mum’s, so I also didn’t know that you could hear SOUND when you play it back (mine doesn’t do that).  I even took my earphones out to check but didn’t seem to hear anything, but my mum told me you could after. So yeah, embarrassing!  Especially as there was someone who performed there on the tube near me probably thinking what a weirdo loser I was!

2.  My parents had their couple friends round for food and drinks, and I went to bed, leaving the camera with my mum as she wanted to take pictures.  She told me the next day how great their friends thought my performance was (and compared me to Kate Nash, grrr – see above).  I was soooo embarrassed!  Mainly the content of my poems.  I’ve performed in front of my parents before but carefully picked my poems!  Poems about body hair and ex-boyfriends would not be top of the list!  Argh! and I haven’t heard it myself yet, hopefully will be able to upload it tonight though!

Anyway, back to the event!  Liz Bentley was the last feature and I was enjoying her performance and laughed at her reference to Rachel Pantechnicon, feeling a bit pleased with myself that I got it.  So I enjoyed it, despite my personal aversion to people with her first name, UNTIL she did a poem about hating her sister and asked people in the audience to answer whether they hated their siblings.  Elliot said he loved his, and he exclaimed “she’s only two!”  Liz then engaged in banter, trying to amuse the audience by making out he was “weird” for loving his sister.  I felt a wave of embarrassment come over me, like that feeling when you forget lines and everyone is looking at you.  Aware it wasn’t me that should feel awkward, I told Elliot ‘I want the world to swallow you up’.  I just thought it was an underhand thing to say, as he wasn’t heckling and I found it inappropriate and basically rude.  *Sigh* Disappointing.

The next So She Said event is 7th September and I’ll hopefully be going along again.

xxx

Penned in the Margins

Inspiration

So, last Thursday I was selling books at the Penned in the Margins event at Aubin & Wills as part of my internship.  The poetry readings were from Glynn Maxwell, Clare Pollard, Simon Barraclough and Joe Dunthorne.  I arrived later than I planned as there were messed up trains… and then I got lost by walking in the wrong direction – typical!  So I was a bit anxious and flustered when I arrived, but settled down a bit once I knew what I was doing and made myself at home with a bottle of beer.

There were a couple of girls serving the drinks, so I had to help them a bit whilst selling the books as I was next to the drinks.  They were friendly but so different from me, quite posh and ALL blonde, which was a bit funny as their friends and co-workers appeared at times and they were all very similar.  I got the feeling they like a certain type of person at Jack Wills/Aubin & Wills, as the websites note they “represent the directional nature of the brand” and need to “embody the… aspirational, lifestyle brand”.  One of the girls did literature as part of her course, and the other was a singer, so that was cool, sadly can’t remember their names though!  I guess I felt a bit out of place with those girls, as one complained of the possibility of a 36 month phone contract I thought about joking about my Nokia 3330 or whatever it is.

I took advantage of the free drinks, listened to some good poetry and sold a few books, of which Joe’s pamphlet was the most popular.  A couple of people I’d invited over Facebook came – Paul Riggs, the ‘Australian guy’ I met at Farrago, and Amy Acre – both bought books as well which was cool.  I felt really inspired and even had lines running through my head for a couple of poems, but have inevitably forgotten what they were.

We then went to the pub and I chatted to a few of the poets/literary people, but I can only remember half their names.  I should have gotten a lemonade instead of that last half pint.  But I only drink lemonade with alcohol in it.

That reminds me of a poem I wrote, so, here it is:

Half Pints

You asked me what I liked to drink

What’s that all about?

As if it’s the first time we are going out

As if you have to really think

As if you don’t already know me inside out.

Said you normally drink cans or JD and coke,

Out with the lads,

I thought it was a joke.

‘Cause you used to buy me drinks

Even when you were broke,

Guess it’s been a while since I saw you last;

Been a while since we spoke .

And you’ve always been forgetful

And I’ve never been that cool.

And I’ve never been regretful,

Always been a love fool.

But I’ve had enough of half pints.

Fill me up

To the brim

My glass

Totally full.

xxx

Don’t be such a BORE!

Inspiration

It’s a bit of a late update as I am really busy, but I wanted to make sure to mention this.  After grabbing some Nando’s after work one day, I met with my parents at the National Theatre to see After the Dance.  I was tired as it was but then saw a sign saying the production would be THREE hours long, including two intervals!  I hoped it was good!

The time flew by so fast that I would have to say it was one of the best shows I’ve seen in a long time.  It also seemed extra meaningful for me to see it at this time in my life, although I expect it would be relevent to many.  It was really interesting to read in the programme how the play is considered a ‘lost’ play, and thus isn’t that well-known.

It follows a group of friends who ‘talk of nothing but the old days and the old parties’, and seem to be slowly destroying themselves with their drinking habits.  I consider myself to having a drinking problem, purely for the reason that I sometimes don’t know when to stop and it causes me problems, so it’s something that I’m trying to find a better way of doing.  To drink, and still keep my health, and my friends!  I know I’m not the only one that behaves like an idiot when drunk, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay.

Anyway, there was a division with some of the characters who didn’t drink, and it escalated into questions of life, love and relationships.  The first half was mainly sugar-coated with humour, yet by the second part the audience was met with the raw emotions underneath the masks.  It was beautifully tragic.  The script was amazing and the actors brought it to life.

One of the threads that ran through the play was the idea of being a ‘bore’ if you didn’t drink.  This is probably one of the big reasons why I over-drink.  Sometimes I tell myself I’d rather be boring that too drunk but it doesn’t work.  I’ve been called boring a few times by people I know are ignorant of who I am.  Yet, I am affected by what people think.  On parents evening once at secondary school my history teacher told me and my parents that I needed to participate more in class, something which I’d been told my whole life, and yet they added that I would ‘never be the life and soul of the party’.  So, is it any wonder I like a drink or two?

I think labels like that are terrible, and the reasons why I didn’t participate more than others were not purely down to shyness.  As I noted to two school friends last night, maybe the shy people would say something if everyone else shut up once in a while.  I feel my shyness is a battle, but it is something I fight against because all my passions require a bit of confidence – spoken word performances, dancing, and organising many “events” for friends.  Yet, I also embrace my shyness, as it is a part of my nature, as people will often be able to tell during my poetry sets, or when talking to me for the first time.

Anyway, it is a subject I could go on for ages about, but the point I’m making here, is that I know I don’t need a drink to have fun (I had a sober night and stayed up til about 2am last night with my friends), but sometimes the idea of a being a ‘bore’ probably does influence my habits.  I find it hard to stop, so I just need to get the right balance and be more conscious of my choices – easier said that done when you start to get tipsy.  I think I just need to stop planning to get drunk, and worrying about being drunk “enough” and just relax and enjoy myself, and stop being such a fucking stereotype.

Overall, the play was emotionally engaging and intellectually stimulating, and I’d defos recommend it!

xxx